I feel Alex’s hand clamp onto mine as she goes through chemo. I squeeze tighter and she looks up at me adoringly. I force a smile onto my face and watch her blue-violet eyes search mine.
“Are you okay?” she mouthed. I nodded tightly and turned away unable to watch anymore. She lets go of my hand and pushes me towards the door. I shake my head; I didn’t want to leave her. She nodded and pushed me again. I take one last look and push open the door into the hallway. Once there I start running. I pass by the nurses’ station, pause and go back.
“Tell Alex that I will be back tonight. Tell her I love her,” I panted. The nurse there nodded and smiled gently.
“She loves you too. She told me to tell you,” the nurse stated. I grinned really big and then left.
I couldn’t watch her anymore. Her frail body was getting thinner everyday and her beautiful brown hair fell out in bigger patches each passing hour. The only things that stayed the same were her brightly lit eyes when I walked in the room every afternoon after school.
I walked slowly to my car and hesitated at the door. I looked up; at the fourth floor, 10th window to the left, Alex stood watching me leave. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes; even I could see them. I waved and mouthed I love you to her. Her grin was even visible to me. She mouthed the words back just before I hopped in my car and drove off.
Later I sat on a swing at the playground, our playground, and wondered what would happen in the future. I thought about going off to college and having kids. Mostly I thought about Alex. The doctor told me it was a possibility that she could die within a few days. The cancer came back in her body at full force. It wouldn’t stop until it squeezed every drop of life out of her. I sighed, realizing that the sky was darkening. I had to go home.
My phone starting buzzing and I checked the caller ID. It was the hospital. Panicked, once again, I held the phone up to my ear.
“Hello?” I pause, waiting for her voice.
“They say I only have 18 hours,” the muffled voice cracked on the last word. I shook my head in disbelief.
“I’ll be right there,” I answered quietly and flipped my phone shut. I jumped into my car and turned the key. Nothing happened. I hit the steering wheel and turned the key again. This time, my car came to life and I sped down the highway towards the hospital.
Little did I know that another car would be speeding in the other direction. The driver was drunk and even though I slammed on the brakes, he didn’t. He ran into me head on and my head hit the steering wheel, hard. My eyes were in slits as I checked the damage. My car was totaled and I was lightheaded. My hand went up to stop my head from spinning, only to discover it came back wet and sticky with my blood. I noticed that my leg was severed and I was losing blood quickly. I closed my eyes as I heard the sound of sirens approaching. Voices floated around me but I trained in on one.
“He is going to die. There is no way we can save him,” one of the doctors from the hospital told the police. “Go ahead and get him out.” I heard buzzing around me and a tugging sensation on my arm. I didn’t think about that. I had to get to Alex. She was waiting for me.
“Alex,” I murmured. The doctor who spoke earlier leaned in closer to me.
“Mark?” her voice sounded oddly familiar. I turned and finally recognized her. She was the doctor from the hospital that helped me when Alex first collapsed. Her name was Dr. Cortez. She covered her mouth with her hand and let out a sob.
“I have to get to Alex,” I told her. She shook her head and sighed. “I have to.”
“Mark, you are going to die. You lost too much blood and your leg almost is detached from your body. You just can’t,” her voice broke and she turned away. I could see from the way her shoulders moved, she was crying. I closed my eyes again and tried to get away from this nightmare. God, don’t let me die. I have to be with Alex. Don’t let me die. I prayed silently as they hooked me up to a monitor. The beeping was as erratic as Alex’s had been. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to burn the image of her smiling face in my brain. Those beautiful dark blue-purple eyes. I couldn’t let those go. That’s when the beeping stopped.