Dear You,








One Month Later

I don’t know why I’ve decided to write these letters. Its not like I’m ever going to send them. I guess that right now I just really need the closure. I need someone to talk to, and since I have no one else, I’ll ‘write’ to you. If you’re wondering why I need closure… well to put it short, my mom’s cancer has taken a turn for the worse. The doctors don’t know how much longer she’ll have, and we’re all scared to death. I’ll keep you posted I guess.





With Love,






Carmen

Dear You,






One Month and Five Days Later
More and more often, I find myself looking back on those summer days we spent together. I wonder about where you are now, and what you’ve been up to. Are you still surfing or have you moved on to bigger and better things? But the one thing I wonder the most is if you think about me? Was that summer as magical as I remember or was it just another summer romance for you? On to my mom... The doctors say that she has another month maybe less. Even though she’s not gone yet, I feel like we’ve already lost her.





With Love,






Carmen

Dear You,




One Month, One Week, and Three Days Later

I wish that you would call. You have my number, but my phone still hasn’t rung. I guess I could call you, but I don’t have the courage. You know how shy I am. I guess I’m just going to have to wait until I get the nerve.

My mom is getting worse and the doctors said that she will be gone in two weeks. I think they’re wrong though. I think she’ll be gone in a matter of days. I don’t know if they just don’t see it, but she’s so thin that you can see every bone in her body, and she sleeps all the time. Her skin is grey and she looks old, unlike the mother I remember tucking me in at night.





With Love,






Carmen

Dear You,




One Month, Two Weeks, and Five Days Later

She’s gone, Jake. She died yesterday afternoon in her sleep. We were all there, waiting for her to wake up from her afternoon nap, when the heart monitor went steady. It was the worse sound I have ever heard in my whole life. My dad started crying and my sister fled the room. But I just sat there staring at her. She was right there, but I knew that she was gone. And I couldn’t get my mind around it, you know? That my mother’s arms would never wrap around me again. And that she would never take me out shopping when we both just needed a day off. The funeral is this Thursday. I don’t know how I’m going to make it without crying my eyes out.





With Love,






Carmen



Dear You,




One Month, Two Weeks, and Six Days Later

I called you today. This is basically how the conversation went:
Me: ‘Hi, Jake. It’s me. Carmen.’

You: ‘Hey.’

Me: ‘Sorry I never called before. I-I’ve been busy.’

You: ‘No. I should have called. I just got too nervous. I didn’t know if you thought what we had was serious.’

Me: ‘I was afraid of the same thing.’

Both: *Laugh*

You: ‘So, how are things going? How’s your mom?’

Me: ‘*Holding Back Tears* T-That’s why I’m calling. J-Jake, she died two days ago.’

You: *Silence*

Me: *Starts to Cry*

You: ‘What’s your address?’

Me: ‘W-Why?’

You: ‘Because I’m coming over.’

And so you drove for two hours just to come and you met my family. They asked who you were and you answered that you were someone who needed to be there. For me. We went to my room and you held me while I cried and told you stories about my mom. It felt good to get everything out. You said that you would like to come to the funeral. I said okay and then you left. But before you did you kissed me. I think I’m falling again.





With Love,






Carmen

Dear You,

I’ve decided to stop counting days since we’re together again. Today was the funeral and you held me close for most of it. It was so strange to see the coffin and know that my mother’s body was in it. For a few seconds I wished that it could have been like a horror movie where the person comes back to life and freaks everyone out. Maybe without the ‘people freaking out’ part though. The minister lady didn’t make things any easier on me. She gave me a whole bunch of pamphlets about the death of a loved one and how to adjust to life after. You took them from my hands and handed them back to her when you saw me looking for the garbage can. Thank you for being there today. It meant a lot.





With Love,






Carmen


Dear You,

It’s been seven years since I wrote you a letter. But I thought now would be appropriate to write since, oh you know, you happened to propose tonight! You took me out to the fancy restaurant we first went to that summer. And we even sat at the same exact table. You told me how much you loved me and then got down on one knee. Everyone turned to us and when I said yes and we kissed everyone started clapping. The waitress brought us a piece of cake, on the house, because she said that we were one of the cutest couples she had ever seen. I guess now we start planning the wedding! I love you, Jake.





With Love,






Carmen

Dear You,

We decided to each read a letter to each other at the reception. So I’ve decided to not only read you this one, but also give you the seven others that I have kept over the years.

Jake, I love you. There is no other way to say it. You shine like the sun when everything around me seems to be in the shadows. You lift me up when I’m completely set on letting everything go. You keep me calm when everything else goes wrong, and I know that without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Right now, with you, knowing that for the rest of my life I get to wake up every morning and find you next to me, it makes me the happiest girl alive. I love you, Jake, and nothing will ever change that.





With All My Heart,






Carmen