I don’t really know what to tell you. There is so much to be said that there is nothing to say at all. You came back into my life, time and time again. Come to think of it, most people come in and out of my life. Mostly out. That is why I stopped getting attached. But with you, I could not help being tied to your rope. I am trying to untangle myself, but you have me wrapped around, strung together, and tied in a knot, and I can’t get out. You say you love me, loosening the pain of the rope, creating an illusion that I can almost breathe freely. Then you love her too, and the rope is pulled tight, and I cannot breathe anymore. Every time you look away, every time you walk away, you drag me with you. I don’t know how to love you anymore. I wish it could be “you and me”. I wish it could be “us”. I can’t just be you anymore, I can’t even remember me.

That day in my room I will always remember. That night we drank cheap red wine and poisoned our lungs with nicotine. Comfortable in my black stretch cotton pants and my dark blue sweater, I felt beautiful that night. You were beautiful too in your red sweater that seems mores stuck to you than I am. Kisses, laughs, and sweet words were passed. Race me to the kitchen. You take off my shirt, I take off yours. Kiss me. Love me. F*** me. Shatter me. Respectively.