The room was crowded, it was loud and the lights made it feel like we were at a high school dance. I was at a New Year’s Eve party. I had a cup of sparkling cider in my hand. Derrick was standing across the room, perfectly in my line of vision. I tried to avoid his glances. I couldn’t help but to toss him a glance every so often. After all, my feelings for him hadn’t subsided. If anything, they had gotten stronger. I knew those feelings wouldn’t go away. It was like a shadow, no matter what you’d always have a shadow. Those feelings for Derrick were extremely strong, almost a little too strong for my liking. But as of right now, I wasn’t sure if Derrick and I were on speaking terms. Not after what had gone on with us.

I checked the time, it was 11:45. 15 more minutes left of 2010. Make it good. I told myself. I thought about going onto the dance floor, but that just didn’t seem right.
I felt Derrick’s eyes on me. I took a sip of my cider. His eyes were still on me. I allowed myself to look at him. Derrick lynch, he was very attractive. He had a natural tan, he had dark brown almond eyes, short black hair, and he was tall and muscular. To me, he was breathtakingly gorgeous. I couldn’t help but to keep my eyes on him. I felt part of me ache with the memories that Derrick and I had. We liked each other, it was obvious. Everyone saw it. The way we would cuddle, the way he would tickle me, the way he and I were nearly always talking, the way we were nearly always talking, the way our hands would sort of linger together when we touched, it was obvious we were into each other. Actions speak louder than words, that’s what I told myself when he told me he liked her and not me. But his mood swings were actions too…

Our eyes were locked. Then I saw him moving towards me. I felt my stomach flip over, why was he coming towards me?

“Lydia, may I speak with you?” Derrick said to me as he touched me arm lightly. The touch spooked me, I felt as though I was on sensory overload, what was he doing?

“Yes,” I said, stepping away from my spot in the room. I followed him to a private area. This was the first time we’d talked in any form in a week.

Derrick took my hands in his. “I’m sorry, Lydia,” he began. I blinked at him. Where was this coming from? “For everything.”

Wait, did that include the flirting? No, don’t apologize for that, I liked that.

“I’m sorry for the games I played. I shouldn’t have been so mean. I should’ve been honest. I should’ve been good to you. I should’ve made up my mind on what I wanted before I made any actions.”

I stared at him, unable to come up with what to say.

“Say something, please, Lydia.” Derrick said to me, sounding almost like he was begging me.

“Yes?” I said, I wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted me to say. “Are you sorry for flirting with me?”

“No, because I enjoy being with you.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“Yes.”

Oh no, don’t have regrets, that’s not a good way to live life. I thought to myself as I tried not to panic. “What do you regret?”

“I regret hurting you. If I had known I was hurting you, I wouldn’t have done it. If I could go back and change it, believe me, I would. I never want to hurt you again.” Derrick said, he was still holding my hands, both of our hands were getting clammy with nervousness.

Okay, that was sweet of him, it wasn’t a bad regret, I told myself. Though at the same time I couldn’t help but wonder if this was just one of his games. Was he in a good mood? Would he take it all back when he gets in a bad mood?

“You see, Lydia,” he took a deep breath as if he was preparing to say a speech. “I’ve made up my mind. I know what I want. I am done with my moodiness. I’m done with being a jerk. I know what I want.”

“Then what do you want, Derrick?”
Derrick cupped my face in his hands. Subconsciously, I moved my hands to the small of his back. Those feelings I had for him were taking over. “Lydia Elise Murray, I want you. I want to be with you. I want you and only you.”

My eyebrows went up, I was not expecting to hear him say that — ever.

“Lydia, I am madly and deeply and passionately in love with you. All I want is you. I just want to be with you. I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense or if I’m coming on too strong, but I need you to know that I’m in love with you.” Derrick said of this in what seemed like a rush, but he said it meaningfully. It sounded like music to my ears. I was glad that he felt this way. I was glad that he chose me. And in that moment, I only saw him, I only heard him, and I only thought of him. I was no longer at the party in my mind, I was just with him.

“Hey Derrick! Hey Lydia! Get over here, it time for the countdown!” Someone from the crowd hollered to us.

Derrick interlaced his fingers with my left hand. Before we started moving I said to him, “Derrick Michael Lynch, I am in love with you so madly, so passionately, so deeply that hiding it is impossible.”

Derrick smiled at me and we went to the center of the crowd. Immediately after the countdown, there was a jubilee. Everyone was shouting “happy new year” and making noise. Derrick looked me in the eyes, “Happy New Year, baby,” he took my face in his hands and kissed my lips.

“Happy New Year, Derrick,” I said grinning. That was our first kiss, it was perfect. “I love you.

I couldn’t imagine a better beginning to 2011.