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Maybe This Is For the Best
You keep walking like you do. Left right, left right, left right, I can hear your shoes squeak on the polished hall floors as you quick walk to our first period class. Your eyes forward, determined to be the first one there. They never leave your goal: that door in the no where corner in the first floor of our school building, the Spanish room.
Usually there will be a few people walking in between us. They are in front of me, but behind you. I don’t know why, but I can always pick you out of a crowd. Your older brother, anyone can find without a problem, but you only I can see.
Maybe its because I’ve given part of my heart to you, and you just don’t deem it fit to give it back yet. But I’m hoping you will soon. If you haven’t seen by now I’m not like all others who you converse with; I hate being called “special”, I smile when I feel the worse inside, and I’m still falling for you, even when you’ve hurt me so many times.
We use to talk a lot, but now we don’t even say hi to each other anymore. When I want to be nice and say hi to you, you look at me and walk away. What have I done? You read all my statuses on Facebook, trust me, I know you do! They were meant for you to read. I was taking back my heart from you, but I still want to be your friend. But I’m not that… I am your classmate, your fellow peer.
Maybe this is for the best. It doesn’t matter how many endless conversations we had on you and your former love, or how many times you’ve made me laugh, all that does matter is that when I hear of you I’ll know that your happy. Excuse me for sounding like an inexperienced teenager, but I still love you.
Maybe the rest of the school year will go off as you being first to Spanish and me having my heart fully in tacked to myself. Either way, you will find me hiding my heart.
As the words of the singer who showed me that I gave my heart to you:
“I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I begged
I remember you said,
Sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it hurts instead”
-Adele , Someone Like You
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