I looked through the fine gaps between the strands or charcoal black hair that had fallen in front of my wide shadowed brown eyes. Each strand of hair curtained my eyes, as if shielding me from the scene that invaded my vision. A blistering heat bloomed onto my cheeks and spread throughout my face, transforming my pale skin to blotchy, broken reds. A sharp ache and burn lingered in the back of my eyes as the tears threatened to spill over the rims of my eyes.

The collective fragments of what one would call a heart flamed inside my chest. The fire burned and threatened to break through my ribcage as I put a tensed fist over my heart, hitting it, pounding it, willing for the hurt to dissipate. I blinked, and set free a storm of salty water. The droplets raced down my cheek and over my full, red lips. My lips were torn, and swollen from my teeth pressed around it. The tears ran into my mouth as I parted my lips and gasped for air. I dug my fingernails in, engraving crescent moons into the palms of my hands and clenching my fists tighter.

It’s ironic, isn’t it? That tears are saltwater. That as you cry from an open wound, you rain stinging saltwater from your eyes.

Outside, pellets of raindrops shot down from the sky, hammering the roof with loud, sharp bangs, like bullets being shot from a gun. I could feel the stuffy humid air sticking to my throat as I breathed in raspy breaths. Despite the humidity, the icy rainstorm took its toll on the unheated room. The frosty air broke past my thin black hoodie, invading the heat of my body and bit at my barely protected skin. The musty aroma of rain mixed with the fresh smell of cold air filled my red-tipped nose. Everything was gray, gloomy, and angry. Except maybe the two people that filled my tear-blurred vision. They appeared warm and comfortable, sweetly intertwined under a dim, warm orange-y light that didn’t quite reach to where I stood. Soft giggles and those small smacking sounds that kisses make when they’re playfully sloppy filled my unaccepting ears. The scene seemed so undisturbed and sweetly isolated from any stormy breaths of interrupting air. I was the small whisper of cold air that tripped through a warm day. Barely noticed, yet still unwanted.

My eyes examined the daggering scene before me, and with a small glint of reflecting light, a gunmetal chained necklace hiding beneath the collar of his shirt appeared in my sight for a split second. A ricochet memory entered my mind, back to when I first gave him that dog tag necklace. An idea I had spent forever mulling over in my mind. I had bought it with much pride, happy that I came up with such a good idea. It was perfect, really. It had his last name inscribed into the necklace as well as the day we had started going out. It was casual enough to wear out, but also sentimental with the date etched into the dog tag. I gave it to him the day after Christmas in my freshman year of high school.
All of that seemed so far from now. Before this moment, I had thought that we’d come so far, overcome so many obstacles that would otherwise stop any common relationship. Going into the relationship, my main worry was just the distance. He lived in another city, not too far away from mine, but still difficult due to the fact that neither of us had cars, or even our license. I was scared that maybe the distance would make his feelings fade faster, that the minimal chance to be together would have him back out. But over time those feelings of fear weakened and soon I forgot about it. Both of us grew accustomed to the distance and various methods of communication we had to use to stay as close as we could. I had always trusted him. I never pinned him as the type who would ever pull such a cruel stunt like this. I never saw it coming, especially in the strong, or so I thought, 2 year relationship we held onto.
I turned my head away from the wounding scene before me and reached out for the doorknob. I carefully twisted the knob and pulled the door open just enough to slide my thin, unshapely body through. With a clear creak, the door pulled apart from its frame, making me wince at the loud sound it produced. I quickly slipped my way through the gap and closed the door behind me, not caring about the loud thud I left behind. The cold air attacked at my barely protected body as soon as I left the house. I could feel my lips getting drier with every chilly inhale I breathed in, as if my very own breath was sucking the moisture out from it. I bit down on my lips again, my front and bottom teeth pressuring my chapped bottom lip between them until a rusty yet salty taste lathered itself on my taste buds. I speed walked back into the crowds of the city nightlife. I used the dark, plentiful silhouettes surrounding me to camouflage my petite, ordinary body.
As I worked myself farther into the crowd, I heard a distant voice calling out to me from behind. My heart thudded at the thought of who the source could be. Maybe it was simply a conversation my body had cut between as I walked away.
“Min! Wait!”
Could it possibly have been him? I shook my head at the thought, and continued pushing through the call, the sound of the voice still echoing in my mind.