There's a guy.. Wow, what a bland and typical way to start out.. but while that is bland, he on the other hand, is not. I went to his guitar concert at our high school and well, he's cute, so that caught my eye, but I guess I fall for people with passion, so that really did the trick. I recall him closing his eyes while he played, and his body would flow with the music. And his voice, it destroys and rebuilds the soul over and over again to a more perfect form. He's crazy talented. He knows something about everything, and the most fascinating things for that matter. I just had to stare at him in amazement when he talked.. We went on our first date to see Django Unchained and he asked to hold my hand during the scene where Django meets back up with Broomhilda after all that time apart. He deliberately waited for the sweet scene to ask.. how thoughtful is he. After the movie, I totally whipped his tail at air hockey in the arcade. I bought him a ring there, which he lost, and I'm a tad bit sad about it.. That was 25 cents of my love right there. We started out really cute, you know? We just lost ourselves after having sex. I don't regret it on my side, but I do on his. He deserved better and should've lost his virginity to someone he truly cared about. I shouldn't have allowed it to happen, but I was crazy about him and thought we could work. It's stupid to have thought, I guess, but nobody can control when they fall for another, it just happens. And please don't think I'm crazy and was all in love with him because I wasn't.. we weren't together very long.. but is it even remotely possible the slightest shred to have started to fall for him? It's just a very strange feeling that I'm not even sure I quite understand. But, if you do in fact think I'm crazy, then just go all out with it and call me insane because in my opinion, as well as Dr. Seuss', being crazy isn't enough. I remember my favorite memory of me and him, maybe my favorite memory ever.. We were sitting on opposite sides of my bed and he leaped across for a kiss but he fell over me. He was so embarrassed and kept apologizing. I just grabbed his face, said not to worry about it, and kissed him. There are so many cute memories of us. I remember I gave him a huge hickey on his neck, which is really terrible of me to have done, but I did it. He had to wear collared shirts all of the time, but then he ran out of them.. So we all know where that lead.. The tattoo I bought from the arcade on our first date, I put it on his chest and it was so cute. I think it said "always love" or maybe vice versa. He called me alluring during our game of word association and it made me flutter up inside. I remember the time when were sitting on my bed with light of the candles flickering across our faces, holding hands, staring at each other, and in that moment I swore we were infinite. This article pretty much consists of the things I wrote him in a letter, and at this point I would be writing that I should really end this letter but I know when I do, I'll find more to add in or even something to take out. But look at the beauty of technology, I can just press the backspace key and take out whatever I want.. I couldn't do that with my trusty pen and paper. Well, that's my fault for using a pen when I wrote him.. I'm upset that he broke up with me, because I know he still likes me. He was just too scared to face all of the people who can't handle our relationship. I want him to know that he's really special, and the reason I feel the need to tell him is because I don't know if anyone else ever has. You know, I sit here locked away in my room all night and when I'm too tired to sit at my desk listening to music, writing, or playing guitar.. I lay on my bed in the dark with the light of the glow-up star stickers on my ceiling. It gets really quiet, and when it does, when the silence gets too loud, I really start to miss him. It takes me back to Valentines day, sitting on top of his car watching the stars. I felt like I was in a "zero state".. when I felt neither alive or dead, I had no judgment or opinion, everything was just perfectly in line.. Then I snapped out of it and realized, he's right next to me.. I have so much better than "zero state" to turn to.. I have him. Now I don't. I'm now stuck in a fake state of zero because he's not perfectly in line there anymore.. I'm ready to snap out of it again.