We were never together but my heart always skipped a beat every time I saw you. Let me start from the first day we met or maybe the first day I saw you. I didn’t like you. You were just another guy that I needed to notice me and me to ignore. That was the whole plan from the beginning. I needed to talk to you; let you get used to me and then ignore you so you’d want me.

The first day she introduced you to me, I made sure we never made eye contact so you wouldn’t see the game in my eyes. A few days later, we started talking and noticing you weren’t interested made me scared. I started slacking which had never happened before. You got me worried I failed. I couldn’t have failed. I didn’t want to fail. The more I got closer to you, the more you kept away from me.

You told me we were just friends and it pricked me inside; I didn’t know why. Then you told me you loved another which only shattered me. I realised I was in love with you. I had failed. I had failed to have you but I wasn’t ready to give up. I walked at your pace until it happened. I had you. We were happy. I loved you to pieces and maybe you did too until you started getting me insecure. You got me thinking every second about how much I was so in love with you and couldn’t concentrate. I always loved you afresh each time I saw you. You kept smashing my heart with the words you said. You never knew how much you hurt me and I wasn’t willing to tell you. Maybe I was asking too much from you. Just maybe I was. You had no idea how much you meant to me and I just couldn’t tell you because that would be me giving you the power to hurt me even more. You said you loved me and that was meant to be enough.

You said you did, you didn’t show you actually did. I always overlooked all your flaws because I was blind. I could go to the end of the earth for you. I was obsessed about you. But you let it all go; you let me go. You hurt me just when I needed your comfort, your consolation. I was in pain and you just let go.

You might say I’m crazy, I won’t dispute the fact but I want someone like you except someone who’ll respect me more that you ever did. It’s been a year already but I still have this little piece of me that beat for you. I want someone like you.

I looked at the picture again. You were smiling; you were happy but not because you were looking at me but your new-found love. I won’t lie but you two look perfect for each other. Maybe we were never meant to be but please don’t forget me so easily. Knowing you for three years, you’ve taught me a lot, you taught me about fate and to believe in it, you taught me about the rights and wrongs of relationships but please don’t forget me, I beg you. Losing you killed me already. Dying a second time wouldn’t be a pleasure. I will still believe in fate, the one you taught me. And one more thing,

“I’m sorry I thought you were a player”