My abusive boyfriend | Teen Ink

My abusive boyfriend

December 12, 2013
By Anonymous

I remember him like it was yesterday. I remember the bruises I would get after his constant beating if I said something wrong. I remember when he broke up with me because I was 'worthless.' I remember meeting Nathaniel changing my life forever. Because of Nate, I am here.

"Audrey???" Derek shouted.
"What?!" I snapped back while getting ready in my one bedroom/bathroom. My long, red hair falls too far on my back almost touching my back. It's a pain to deal with. I put on my eye liner to make my green eyes pop along with some ruby red lipstick.

"We have to go! I haven't had a smoke in ages! Gotta run to the store to get some cigs!" Derek shouted.

He always says things like that when he hasn't smoked in one day. I came into my small kitchen ready to leave. "You look like a clown with all that makeup. What did I tell you about wearing makeup?"

"Whatever, Derek. Can we leave now before my mom comes home?" I asked. Mom comes in late from the Waffle House services she provides to the local low lives around New York City.
We stumbled down the unstable stairs to get outside and feel the scourging, hot temperature of the outdoors. I cannot express to you my feelings on how much I hate summertime in New York; it destroys my love for the outdoors. I also hate motorcycles which is the only way of transportation with Derek. His motorcycle is his baby. He might even love that thing more than me.

"Hop on," he said, "I know how much you hate my baby, but you'll have to get over the fact that we belong together."

I scratched my head. "Uh, ok."

After we put on our helmets, which by the way his helmets smell like a rat has died in there along with possum, we started speeding through the streets. We dodged the angry taxi cab drivers, passing the rude people that had to walk to work. Our part of town is where most people do not have the money to buy nice jewelry and such. The only way you have the money is by stealing it from the banks or stores.
Walgreens is a place where you can find less suspicious looking people and feel comfortable when you walk around. The cashiers are always friendly, for the most part. Every time we come it's the same tall, skinny, long haired dude who has loads of freckles on his face. I'm hoping he doesn't notice the red mark I received from Derek earlier.
After grabbing what Derek calls his 'stress relievers,' we arrived to the check-out where Derek slams all his alcohol onto the cash register, causing a loud BOOM! to occur.

"I'll take three packs of cigarettes!" Derek commanded.

"Better slow down with all these cigarettes you've been smoking! Your lungs will be gone pretty soon," the tall, kind of cute kid proclaimed.
"What's it to you, punk?!" snapped Derek.
"Your lungs are not my problem, they're yours. So I guess keep up the good work with ruining them!" he said sarcastically.
"You better watch yourself with that mouth of yours. It could get you in a lot of trouble." said Derek. His name tag read, Nathaniel. Nathaniel handed Derek the cigarettes after he had shown some identification. Derek, then, stormed out the store as I followed him.

We hopped back onto the motorcycle to go our secret place. This is a place where we go to smoke and drink so I won't get in trouble with the cops. It's a dark alley behind a nasty bar that Derek usually goes to.
When we got there, it was dark and humid. We sat next to each other by the bar's dumpster. The rancid smell of the dumpster forces me to two showers a night.
As we drank and smoked, I noticed Derek was acting very different from his usual self.

"What's going on with you?" I asked curiously. I turned toward him.

"What do you mean?" he asked while taking a sip of his Budlight.

"Well, you have not really talked to me like you usually do," I explained. He was silent for a while.

"I have to tell you something you probably don't want to hear, baby," Derek said with a semi-sweet voice grabbing my cheek with his hand, "but last night when the boys and I went to the bar, I met another girl who is actually MY age."
"Oh your age?" I growled.

I was angry now. You met another girl that's your age? What ever, he does this all the time. I tend to fall for all his lame sayings but I certainly won't this time!
"Wow, this won't be the first time you've done this to me. Go ahead and say it! I don't need you in my life anymore, anyway." I exclaimed. I watched him pause and stare at me angrily.
"Never mind, I'll just say it. I screamed at his face,"We're over!"
"Fine!" He hit me hard right on my cheek causing to fall over. The last thing I heard him say before I was knocked out was: "You're worthless, anyway." He got up and left, leaving me by the stinky dumpster.



I woke up the next day in the same spot, with a terrible headache from the hard blow. I can't stand him anymore. My answer will be no. Derek will go on just fine without me. The bad boy he claims to be.

When I finally got the strength to get up, I walked toward Walgreens to buy all the snickers and twix bars I could find. I figured I would use the last $10 I had in my back pocket to drown my sorrows. After I grabbed all my chocolate goodies, I went up to the check out. There was Nathaniel, the cashier who was there last time when Derek and I bought Derek's drinks and cigarettes. I slammed all my candies on the counter. Nathaniel looked puzzled.
"Tough breakup, huh?" he asked surely.
"Uh, yeah. If you have to know, Nathaniel," I answered.
"Call me Nate!" He said.
"He seemed like a total jerk, anyway."
"Yep. He sure is." I said.

"Well, how about I show you how a real man treats a woman, by taking you out to dinner." He suggested.
I was astounded. "I can't...the break-up just happened last night. I don't think I am quite ready to see someone else already," I said, still shocked.
"Well, let's not call it a date then. Let's call it a friendly gathering. Would that help the situation?" He asked excitedly.
"I don't know about this."
"Come on. I want to take you out to have fun and forget about that jerk!" He said.
I suddenly noticed our fellow New Yorkers behind me were looking a little impatient.
"C'mon," a man yelled, "just say yes so I can buy my toilet paper and be on my way!"
"YEAH!" The whole line of people agreed.
"Alright, alright. I'll go out with you, but only as a friendly gathering, nothing else," I dictated.

"Ok, but be careful. I'm easy to fall in love with!" He said, jokingly with a wink.
He packed all of my candy in a plastic bag and put the receipt inside. Handing it to me he said, "I'll pick you up at 7."


What have I done? If Derek sees I'm with someone else, he'll definitely flip. He might hit me again... Oh God. I can't go. Nope. I will not go out on this so called 'friendly gathering.' I have to call Nate... It might be fun. Ah, whatever, I am gong on this date! I mean 'friendly gathering.' This was all I could think about on my way home.

I walked outside at exactly 7 to see Nate standing outside a taxi. His hair was a little messy falling below his ears. His blue-collared Polo really made his blue eyes pop.
"You look great, Audrey," he said, while looking me up and down.
"Thanks, Nate!" I winked at him.
He rolled his eyes and laughed. He asked: "You ready for a great night filled with adventures and more hopefully to come afterwards?!"
"I guess!" I proclaimed as I step into the taxi.
As we rode through the city streets, I was puzzled on to where we were going.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

He looked at me and just smiled. It angered me.
"You're not going to tell me?" I snapped.
"Hey now, little miss impatient! We are getting there," he assured.



We took a carriage through the city as we passed all the grumpy people, and small restaurants around.
We were arriving to the Brooklyn Bridge, I observed and I got a little nervous on what we were going to do. Nate must've seen my worried expression because he said, "Don't get so tense! We aren't jumping off of it or anything."
"Oh darn, I was so looking forward to that!" I said sarcastically.

He just laughed and smiled. He has a crooked, but inviting smile. The taxi drove up to the side of the bridge and we jumped out the car. I admired the beautiful sunset over the city.
"You like what you see?" He asked, rhetorically.

"It's amazing." I answered.
"Good, we are going to walk this bridge," he said, "and enjoy this amazing view."

As we walked through, I told him all my problems. Problems I would never tell anyone else. The problems I would never share, even to my mother. He listened and while he was hearing these stories, he really looked at me. I could see the sympathy in his deep, blue eyes. Suddenly, I felt safe. The safest I have ever felt. With Derek, I felt sheltered and I couldn't say anything around him without him hitting me.
"He always hit me if I said something he did not like to hear," I said trying not to cry. "I always would cringe. I don't know why I could ever continue dating Derek."



"I thought the same. I saw him hit you that time in Walgreens. It made me want to go and punch him right in the face. No girl should be treated like that, Audrey. Especially you."
The way he said that was so sincere. Suddenly, tears were filling up my eyes. One slowly went down my cheek. Nate used his hand to wipe away the tear. He took my face in his hand and brought me closer to his face. Our lips met one another.

"I won't ever hurt you like that." He said as he looked into my eyes.

I smiled and said: "I thought you told me this was a friendly gathering!"
"You and I both know this was not a friendly gathering," he chuckled, "I couldn't help myself."
He pulled me in to kiss me again.



After we ate, we headed home. I never usually fall for boys on the first date, but with him I couldn't help myself. This boy made me feel real and I could tell him anything.
When we made it the building of my apartment, I said, "Thanks for this terrific adventure, and thanks for listening to my problems!"
"Ha ha, it was a great time and I am happy we had this friendly gathering," he said as he winked, "Hope to see you again very soon?"
"Definitely!" I answered confidently.
Before I could turn around to head up to my apartment, he took my hand and brought me closer to him. He planted a kiss on me, and I nearly melted. As we kissed, I heard a loud shout from behind us.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Derek yelled as he came out from behind the dumpster. He looked drunk.
"Derek? What are you doing here?" I asked, nervous at what will happen next.
"I came to see my girlfriend, but I can see that she is too busy smoochin' with this wimp! What are you doin?!" He stumbled on his words.
"You broke up with her, and she found someone new. Someone who would take good care of her and respect her, "Nate pitched in, putting his hand upon Derek's chest.
"Don't touch me!!" Derek swatted his hand off of him. "You think you can just steal something that belongs to me? I don't think so. No one gets by me."
"Derek!! Get out of here!" I screamed.
"Fine, you better watch your back, Nate," he roared. As he left and hopped on his motorcycle.
"I'm so sorry, Nate," I apologized, "I didn't know he would do tha-"
"No, don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong! He should leave you alone," he interrupted.
"Well, drive home safe? Make sure you get into a taxi!" I tried to play this off as a joke and he went along.
"Oh no worries, I got this! I am no wimp!" he yelled with his chest up.
I walked up to my apartment, went to my room, and laid on my bed. Tonight really turned into an adventure.


As summer continues, Nate and I constantly saw each other. We'd get ice cream, pizza, take long walks and I'd go over to Walgreens to save him from the boredom of his job. We would do everything together. We never saw Derek since the night of our first date together. I hope he ran away on his little motor cycle and brought some girl that he uses along with him. So they can live happily ever after....

That night Nate and I were walking home from his work, where we encountered Derek. He must've been drinking because he kept falling over as he approached us. His jeans were ripped and his leather jacket was torn on the sleeves. His face looked swollen with bruises and scratches. He was coming closer and closer toward us, trying to run.

"What happened to you, Derek?" I asked, nervously.

He looked at me with anger, "Don't worry about it. I came here to get you!"
Nate stepped in front of me. "I'd step back, Derek. You need to go home."

Derek angrily took Nate's collar and brought him closer to his face.
"What did you say!? You think you can just appear in her life and take her away from me?" He demanded an answer. "Well, no. I am taking her back."


He walked toward me in attempt to pick me up as I tried to run from his grip. Nate punched his side causing Derek to fall down. Derek caught up and jumped Nate. They were slamming each other's fists in each other's faces. Both were getting beat. Nate regained the strength to get up and landed on Derek. I was screaming with terror, "Stop!! Please!! Stop!!" I tried to pull them away but I ended up falling to the ground. Nate finally hit Derek with one last blow before Derek was knocked out. He got up and ran toward me. He began to cradle me.
"Audrey? Are you okay? I'm so sorr-" A gun shot was blown right into Nate's forehead.
Nate fell to the side of me where I was laying. Derek put the gun back into his jacket. I was stunned and couldn't move. I began to sob.
"HOW COULD YOU, DEREK?" I screamed.
He was silent. He breathed heavily. I heard sirens fill the town heading toward our area. I looked back and saw people running toward us. When I looked back, Derek was gone. I was left there with my lover's corpse.
It's amazing how one person can change another. I will never feel the way I did with Nate with anyone else again. I'm done with Derek. I was going to take revenge on Derek. He will be sorry.


I had it all planned out. I gathered all my tools and was on my way to my location. I headed toward his place in the middle of the night. When I arrived, I used a ladder to get up to his window. I climbed in and saw him laying in his bed dead asleep. I took my knife and put it up to his neck. Nate popped into my mind as soon as I slit the throat of the ruiner of everything. Derek shattered my whole world. He is dead to me. Literally. After I had done my mission, I ran. I ran for my life and left New York.

Now, I don't even know where I am, but I know they are looking for me. It's all over the news. I cut my hair and changed my name. Nate, I did this for you.



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