Was he hurt?? Did I hurt him??COULD I hurt him?? Is she just a rebound…a way of getting over me? Or has he actually moved on does he actually fall in love relatively quickly?? All the facts the evidence of him being a playboy is all right in front of me..yet I am unable to stop myself from liking him…from obsessing over him..AM I too afraid to let go of the nly hope I have?? I Think I know for a fact that there is no one made for me .i know he makes mistakes..the unforgivable ones even…yet I think I understand him..i understand his need for constant affection appreciation love….deprivation from mother’s love and hate towards her can make a person entirely different.I know for a fact that he is drifting .Self discovery takes years.I guess he cant come to terms with it. ‘’we do work in some ways you know’’ he had said to me. We are complete opposites .ofcourse no match for each other. yet attraction cannot be diminished between two individuals .infatuation as we call it can be hard to walk away from. Long distance wouldn’t have affected anything but I couldn’t bring myself t trust him .Trust needs time. Maybe years to be built. And not enough was there for me to get to know him better .or there was actually ,and I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t ready to take the leap. I am not good with relationships .I represent myself with a mask and I think I will never be ready expose my inner demons to any significant other. How could he even like a person like me?? So ordinary so flawed so dependant. I don’t have social status as large as he does neither are we compatible enough yet he chose me. Right now I feel like reality has its own way of confronting with us. More ppl like him will come to my life and now I have to I need to move n. I know all of it all about it. Friends think it as just a phase nothing to hover upon. I don’t even want to make them understand my heartache. Pondering upon questions like does he think about me does he still partially like me will we ever cross paths will he ever forgive me?? Can I ever forgive him?? ..these don’t matter anymore yet I spend hours wishing waiting for him to just come in front of me. Indecisive. yes. a good word to express who I am what I am. he never understood me!!eureka moment. He never cared ABOUT me he just went on caring about himself. Or maybe he did. i dont know. No .i know .i just am afraid to accept it. Maybe he was telling me the truth about him getting over his ex .i was just using that as an excuse to escape from his proposition of being his. But how can i forget the person let go of the memories of the one who showed me light who gave me hope when I needed it the most. He gave me a reason to occupy myself with. obsessing over him tearing over him now seems a waste of time yet at that moment it seemed worthwhile. I really hope he thinks about me once in a while .i really hope he doesn’t hate me or maybe hating me is better than feeling numb about me. We were never in love but I suppose I liked him more than I should have. i regret it sometimes. In a way he left me making me stronger making me realize that phases like these will come in my life and I will have to choose.