Throughout high school, teenagers experience a lot of changes. Whether it be changes in our bodies, our minds, our friends, or our families, high school is the season of change. In the midst of this season of losing ourselves and finding ourselves, there are a lot of mistakes made and with them come realizations. We realize that the world, and the people in it, are not as simple as our young minds assumed them to be. And that things happen that we aren’t prepared for, and sometimes all there is to do is accept them. Even if it questions everything we know, a part of us always has the answers. The hardest part of it all is deciding which part that is. The night of my senior Prom, I realized that I had a decision to make.

I sat amongst the sparkling decor and expensive lighting opposite my girlfriend, Sarah. We’d been dating for about three months, but I’d known her for about three years. For a while I debated with myself on whether or not I should go for her because she was kind of out of my league. But when I finally did, my charm and sheer adorableness won her over in no time.
She looked gorgeous in her pink gown, fit for a princess, and her long dark hair pulled up into an elegant bun. After catching me staring she smiled back at me, a cocky, arrogant smile that made me laugh. Her confidence is what attracted me to her from the beginning. Her every move exuberated self assurance, I needed to have her. When we first arrived, my thoughts only consisted of how uncomfortable I felt in my dress pants and pink bowtie that constricted my airways. But now, Sarah held my attention in its entirety, it took all of my strength not to lose myself in her beauty.
Soon our friends and their dates arrived and filled the empty seats at our table. The girls oggled at Sarah’s dress and the guys shot me looks of approval. She humbly returned their admiration, but I knew her better than that. Her pretty little head grew larger and larger with every compliment, and that amused me.
Behind her ever enlarging head, a noticed a girl standing in the doorway. I stared, my eyes wide. She was exquisite. She wore a long, gold fitted dress that hugged her in all the right places, and sparkled like a million tiny diamonds. Her long, black hair tumbled down one shoulder into curly ringlets. Naturally, my eyes searched beside her for the lucky guy, but she stood completely alone. As she held her own hands and looked around nervously I wondered if anyone even asked her, because she didn’t look the type to do the asking. Although, I understood why a guy wouldn’t consider her. Something about her suggested that she was the kind of girl you’d end up marrying, and that’s intimidating. No guy in high school is looking for something that serious. Suddenly, her wandering eyes locked with mine and I froze, feeling embarrassed and a little guilty for staring, but to my surprise she smiled. A sweet, warm, and familiar smile.
“Oh my god! Look, it’s Mia!” Katie, Sarah’s friend, said looking in the girl’s direction. My breath caught in my throat. I hadn’t even noticed our little group was missing a member. Mia was a close friend of one of Sarah’s close friends, so I never really paid much attention to her. I’d never seen her without glasses on and her nose in a book. It’s no wonder I didn’t recognize her.
Sarah twisted around to get a look and then quickly turned back around, her eyes blank. “Mia! We’re over here! Come on!” Katie yelled, slightly raised above her chair and waving. Mia started making her way over to us, still smiling. She glided effortlessly across the gym floor, the abrupt waddling effect of heels absent from her stride. An unfamiliar twinge of anxiety settled into my stomach as she got closer. I cleared my throat and sat up a little straighter. I felt Sarah’s eyes on me, but I knew better than to meet their accusing gaze.
She finally reached the table and most of the girls stood up to hug her and compliment her dress. All except Sarah. She simply smiled curtly at her without saying a word. Up close Mia looked absolutely amazing, yet all the attention seemed to make her uncomfortable. She kept fumbling with her hands and looking toward the ground, but I knew that she had to be enjoying it. She’d spent her entire high school career being overlooked, but tonight nobody could deny her beauty. She was beautiful in the way that she stood, the way she breathed, and the way she smiled. God, her smile could illuminate the entire room if it needed too.
The girl’s eventually got over their initial excitement and took their seats leaving Mia still standing alone at the foot of the table. Out of our entire group of pairs she was the only one without a date. I was grateful for this fact without even realizing it.
“You guys didn’t save me a seat?” she asked sweetly, laughing a little. I wondered if her laugh had always been this wonderful.
Suddenly Sarah rose out of her chair, her small pink handbag in tow. “You can take my seat. I’ll sit in Jacob’s lap.” She said flatly with her eyes on me the entire time. As Mia gratefully took her offer, Sarah plopped down on top of me and laced her arms around my neck possessively. This time her eyes were locked on Mia. No one else seemed to notice the mini war going on between her eyes.
Thinking fast, I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck, hoping to reassure her, but her body stiffened with distrust above me. I thought I better resolve this situation quickly before Sarah caused a scene and ruined everyone’s night.
The night surged on as we engaged in small talk and stories from our times together. With every laugh or memory I felt myself returning back to my usual, Sarah loving self. Soon the whole ordeal felt like a distant memory. Then a slow song began to play and all the girls looked up at their dates expectantly. All except Sarah. Oh, and Mia of course. Soon all the other couples were up on their feet and headed for the dance floor. I turned my head to the side to look at Sarah, but she was too busy looking at Mia and Mia was too busy watching the dancing couples. Her eyes shone with not jealousy or contempt as she watched them dance, but a soft yearning that suggested she’d never experienced what the rest of us had. I looked to Sarah.
“You uh, you wanna dance?” I stammered, tripping over my thoughts. For a moment it seemed like she hadn’t heard me, but then her head turned slightly toward me and her eyes met mine. They were beautiful, her eyes, blue and pearly. I’d loved them since day one, but at that moment they seemed so vacant under the twinkling lights. Though In reality they hadn’t changed one bit.
“Actually,” she said finally, rising off of me. “Mia.” Mia turned around her eyebrows raised, smiling. God, I wondered, would she ever stop smiling? “I’m going to go get some food.” she said, grabbing my hand and hoisting me over to Mia. I struggled to keep my feet under me. “Why don’t you dance with Jake while I’m gone?” I stared at her. I knew what she was doing.
“Are-are you sure?” Mia asked, standing up. Sarah flashed her an artificial smile.
“Of course! I’ll only be a second and you’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you come to prom without slow dancing with a cute guy.” She laughed a little too hard and Mia joined her nervously and I noticed that she’d yet to look at me. I couldn’t believe Sarah’s acting skills. “You two have fuuuun!” she sang, then strutted away in her obnoxious heels.
We stood at the table for a moment. The initial few seconds were painfully awkward, we stumbled over ourselves like a couple of children. I almost complimented her dress, but I decided against it because it probably would’ve added to the awkwardness.
“Uh, shall we?” I asked with my arm outstretched . She smiled and lead us onto the dance floor. I struggled with where to put my hands at first, I didn’t want to ruin anything on her dress. She laughed at me, then gently took my hands in hers and placed them on her hips. I smiled, feeling dumb for not thinking of that. Then, hesitantly, she put her arms around my neck. The action reminded me of Sarah, but this felt much softer, and sweeter.
She let her eyes fall everywhere but me, and I wondered why she seemed to be holding back, but then I remembered I had a girlfriend.
“Hey, it’s okay.” I said to her. The delicacy in my voice surprised me. She smiled to herself with her head down. Her eyes flicked up to me for just a moment then they were back on the ground. “Okay, I guess I’ll just dance with the top of your head.” I said, taking a risk. I wasn’t really much of a jokester, but I wanted to make her feel more comfortable. Thankfully, she giggled and finally raised her head, allowing our eyes to meet. Her dark brown eyes reached out and grabbed me, pulling me in. She seemed oblivious to their strength. It’s a shame those glasses hid them all this time.
“Wow.” I heard myself whisper. “Your eyes are something else.” For a moment she just stared up at me, those eyes wide and searching. Then she smiled, and that perfect smile turned into a wonderful laugh that I could not resist joining. In the midst of our laughter I looked up and saw Sarah standing in the far doorway with her arms folded around her. I could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest and the anger in her eyes from across the room. She’d been watching us the entire time. Suddenly this whole situation felt very Great Gatsby.
I had told Mia that I loved her, and Sarah saw.
But, unlike Daisy, at this point I no longer cared. Over the course of a few hours, I’d come to an understanding of two things. One, I no longer cared for my girlfriend. Two, I was growing increasingly fond of Mia. Although my conscience felt heavy with guilt at the thought of ruining my girlfriend’s only Prom night, in that moment I operated solely on the desires of my heart. I leaned in and kissed her.
I like to believe that I listened to the right part of myself, because she kissed me back.