Her features were soft, except for her sharply straight nose, and bright blue eyes. Other than that, her big curly red hair draped over her shoulders in a curtain-like manner, covering the majority of her freckles that lay splattered over her neck. Her light pink lips were small and slightly chapped from the harsh winter she had, suffering with too little Chap Stick.
She wore a bright yellow sundress that gleamed in the bright summer shine. As she shone so brightly in my eyes, my heart knew that there was something wondrous about this girl. “What’re you staring at Cam?” She smiled at me and laughed. Her thick Irish accent was like candy to my ears. She walked toward me with such grace and elegance, and sat down beside me. Smiling, she looked into my eyes and laughed again.
As her hand touched mine, her long clean nails swept over my deeply tanned fingers. When she looked up, I saw the sea in her bright blue eyes. It was calming, peaceful even. Nothing could ruin this moment.
“Hey you fags! Get off the beach!” I spun around knowing that it was us they were referring to. Sure enough, a couple older men were pointing at us and murmuring among themselves. As I tried to get up, Sarah yanked me down and tried to talk to me. I felt flames rise from my gut, and tears yanking at the corners of my eyes. As those words rang in my ears, I also heard my father’s thunderous voice in my head, calling me the exact same thing. “I know it’s not fair. I share that view with you. But you need to remember, they are hateful and mean, and you will never be.” She said quietly and sharply. She stared at me intently, making sure her point got through. As I started to calm down, I looked back at the men who were still staring and pointing.
Then I looked back at Sarah. Leaning in to kiss her, I heard the gagging from the men, and the wretched words they spewed from their mouths. Kissing Sarah seemed to light up a spark in me. I made Sarah a promise later that night, that I would never hurt someone out of anger for something like that. Because they are the ones filled with hate, and not me.

“Come here Cam!” I heard him yell from the other room. Preparing for what could happen next, I headed out of my room, peeking out into the hall to see where he was. “Where are you Dad?” I yelled back.
No answer.
“Dad!” I yelled.
Big mistake.
A heavy blow swept the side of my face. Every nerve seemed to flare on one cheek and explode with such crazy pain. As I tried to turn to see what had hit me, another blow struck the other side of my face, but in my eye. Plummeting to the ground, I screamed. “Stop!” Uncovering my tear soaked eyes, I saw him standing over me with a half drunk bottle of beer in one hand, and the other hand clenched into a fist. “Never yell at me like that again you fag.” He turned away, still staring me down, leaving me to my blood soaked tears.

Taking a deep breath, we both walked into the gym, hand in hand. As we walked in, catching the eyes of hundreds of students, a cheer erupted. And for every couple after us, another cheer erupted. I was uneasy being in such an open and accepting place, but once Sarah gave me that smile, I relaxed a little. As we searched for our table, we walked past tons of couples just like us who were cuddling, smiling, holding hands, kissing. This was so new to me, seeing couples like this all together. I was scared to know if there would be that one person that would ruin it and hurt someone here. But nothing ever happened.

“You going to be there later?” I asked. Closing her locker door, Sarah turned and looked at me quizzically. “Where?” she asked.
“My house,” I said. “Studying? Chemistry?”
“Oh yea! Of course!” She leaned against me, head on my chest, and began reading her book.
For the little time we had left before school ended, leaning against the lockers, I stood there reading with her.
Suddenly, her book went to the ground with a thud. Three guys in red varsity jackets ran down the halls laughing and giving each other high fives. “Lesbos!” They yelled. Instead of chasing after them, which I ever so desperately wanted to do, I picked up her book and handed it to her. “See you there?” The bell rang and students flooded the halls. She looked around nervously, but looked back at me with her bright blue eyes. “Yea. I’ll be there.” She kissed me gently, picked her things up, and walked away. Watching her leave, I didn’t think it would be the last time I would see her up on two legs. The last time she would turn around and smile at me.

“What happened?” I asked her mother, while gasping for breath.
“Mrs. Garrison. We need you to sign these.” The nurse said, walking up with blue scrubs and a facemask dangling off one of her ears. She had a couple splotches of blood on her shirt, which he tried to hide with the clipboard she was holding. “Sarah was attacked Cam,” said Mrs. Garrison. She mumbled some words to her self and handed the papers back to the nurse. “It was a hate crime.” As she turned to look at me, I saw tears flooding her eyes. “She will be out of the ER soon Mrs. Garrison. I am terribly sorry for what happened to your daughter.” The nurse said as she turned to walk away. Mrs. Garrison took a deep breath through her whimpering after the nurses’ comment and headed for the waiting area that was outside the two big double doors that held Sarah on the other side. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever while the hospital orderlies were busy rushing around, aiding to other people.


Being alone at last, the silence was harmonious. Darkness swept over every corner of my bedroom, and where there was light, it was only from silver rays of the lonely moon. “I understand you moon.” I whispered. Turning to my other side of the bed, I saw the orange container filled with little blue tablets sitting on my bedside. Take only as prescribed, it read. Grabbing the pill container with one hand, and reaching into my open drawer with the other, I pulled out a piece of paper. This piece of paper held my life within its blue lines. Sitting up, I opened the letter, placed it in my lap and opened the container with much difficulty. Counting out twenty tablets, tears came streaming down my face, but I knew it had to be done. It wasn’t worth it anymore.
As I began swallowing the pills I read over my note:
(1) Dear who ever will find this,

(2) I know this may not be the right choice. (3) But I know I have to do it. This is the only way I can find peace. (5) I cannot stand the bullying, and all the hate from others. (8) Mom, please keep Adrian safe for me and love him twice as much now. Adrian, baby brother, when you are old enough to read this, know that I love you so much. (11) Dad, please look over Cam as if she was your daughter. She means everything to me, and I couldn’t stand to have her hurt. (15) I know she deserves better than me. Give her that. (18) Cam, you are my world. You gave me everything. I just wish I could’ve given you more. I love you sweetheart. I will see you in the next world. (19)





Love,






Sarah Garrison (20)

My heart pounded. The world faded. Then there was nothing.

I dropped the phone to the floor. It was happening so quickly, my head spun, and my heart pounded. I could feel all my feelings and fear clump up in my stomach and begin rising. Running to the bathroom, tripping on the phone, I couldn’t seem to think straight. I threw open the door to the bathroom and rushed to the toilet, barely making it. As I threw up all of dinner, tears came flooding from my eyes. Questions came flooding my head all at once. Why would she leave me? Why did she even do it? How did she do it? Maybe I should do the same.

I remember a time before my mother died, when my father rarely drank, she told me to never forget to tell someone you love them, no matter how far away they are from you. When I stood over my mother’s casket, even though she was so far away, I told her I loved her. Now standing over Sarah’s casket brought an overwhelming amount of vile thoughts into my head for the people who attacked her. Her face was dabbed heavily with makeup, covering what bruises she had left and the blue veins that were arising from her translucent skin. Her hair was dulled at this point, and lost its magnificent shine. I wasn’t comfortable at all looking at her like this. Maybe if I had the chance to tell her I loved her one more time she wouldn’t have done it. To myself, I still whispered, “I love you.”
A heavy hand was placed on my shoulder, and comfortingly squeezed. As I jolted, out of shock, I turned around and Sarah’s father brought me into a long, tight hug. “I promised her I’d love you as if you were my own,” he said. And as I pulled away and looked into his eyes he said, “And I never go back on my promises.”