Day 7665,
Today is my birthday. There was fresh powder on the trail today. It was a lovely sight this morning, the sun caressing the side of the mountain, and wrapping it in its bright arms. I wished Zoey would hold me like that. I wish Zoey loved me like I loved her. But the issues I have are too much for her to ever bear, and she hates me now. She will never know my true affection for all she sees is the spasms, the anxiety, and the occasional tranquilizers. Things that all appear normal and regular through my eyes, but in the eyes of another, they are dark and abnormal. Abnormal. When I heard the word for the very first time I thought it was a positive label. However I learned quickly that one should never go around saying they have an abnormal thought process or an abnormal anything for that matter. They don’t really know what’s wrong with me, but they claim to know what drugs will suppress it. I only listen when I have to. I refuse to be added to their arsenal of vegetables.
The race is in two days. The adrenaline of the slope is so exhilarating, I love it. I know the back slopes better than anyone. Sometimes it’s nice to go off on the back paths where there is no track. I always lose my track of mind when I write. I should write Zoey another letter, maybe this time she’ll thinks it’s the best letter she’s ever read and will love me. I wish Zoey loved me.

Day 7666
Even though I know the back trails like the back of my broken hands I wiped out there today. I wish Zoey would take my brokenness and fix it. I came back to the lodge, I was covered in pine tree litter, snow, and I’ve got some mild wounds. The guys laughed at me when I got back. It wasn’t nice. But they’re always mean. Zoey was mean today, she asked me if I wanted to hear a joke. I replied yes. The punchline was me…
I have the race tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today. Today I felt depressed. Everything including the nature that normal nulls my symptoms aggravated everything today. Every cell in my body feels like it’s vibrating. I lost my inhaler today as well. My lungs sound like industrial fans now. My breath could wake the dead. I’m not really looking forward to the race. I’m going to bed.

Day 7669
I haven’t had time to write in a while the feeling of writing is nice. So many things go through my head. I need them out of my head. I met someone today. His name was Abaddon. He said he’s like me. He also said he likes me. I like Abaddon. It was warm today. The sun was angry with the mountain and tried to melt it. Zoey still melt my heart. Abaddon doesn’t like Zoey. He hates Zoey. I don’t like it when Abaddon says bad things about Zoey. I want Zoey to love me. I like it when he makes fun of the guys at the lodge. His best joke today was “Jockey jack-asses joined a chorus, wanna know where they sounded the best? Six feet under!” I liked that joke. It was a funny joke.

Day 7683
I’ve been so busy these last two weeks. I was helping Abaddon move. He didn’t move away though. He moved in with me. I like being roommates with him. Since he’s moved in the guys have been suspicious. Abaddon points out their strange patterns. The guys aren’t normal. He said the guys are bad people, I believe him. He still hates Zoey though. He want her out of my head and my life. Zoey will always have a space in my heart. I want Zoey to love me. They won’t ever get to a happy place. I’m in a happy place. I have a friend. Abaddon is a good friend and he goes with me everywhere. He like the back slopes just as much as I do. He knows them well too. It’s sad though. He doesn’t know how to board or ski.

Day 7704
Zoey and I argued today. She wants me to leave, said it would make her sleep better. She thinks it was me who crept in her room in the middle of the night. It was Abaddon. Abaddon wanted to watch her sleep. He breathed too loudly and it scared her awake. She says she saw me. It wasn’t me. It was Abaddon. The guys say they think is was me too. Abaddon says he’s just misunderstood. The guys don’t understand he’s my roommate. He said he feels safer with me. The guys aren’t normal. Something needs to be done about their suspiciousness. They are up to something we know it. I think I should tell Zoey. Abaddon think it wouldn’t go well. I’ll stay hushed about it for now. I can’t trust Zoey until she loves me, at that point I’ll tell her everything. Once gets back from the back trails we’ll talk again.

Day 7705
It’s morning and Zoey isn’t back from the trails. It’s only for the most experienced. Abaddon thinks I should leave it. I know the dangers out in those trails. I went to the lodge and called a search. She’s been gone now for eight hours and forty-two minutes and thirty-five seconds and counting. The helicopter is fired up. I’m going on my board down the slope. I’ve taken a walkie talkie in case Abaddon has found a way to use his hands
I found Zoey. She had wiped out. Her leg was broken and she was unconscious. Her body was so cold. I put my jacket around her. It was warm enough. I love that jacket but she can keep it if she wants it. The helicopter scooped her up and flew her away. I hiked up the back trail towards the lodge. Abaddon and I talked on the way back. He scared me. He said he’s me now. That I never had the deed to this body and I’m his now. He’s just my roommate. I don’t understand. Zoey has to love me. She just has to.
It’s really late now. I’m in Zoey’s room. She’s in the hospital. She’s in building C on wing F, in the Trauma Ward, in room B23. Abaddon is psycho. Even as I’m writing this he won’t stop talking! He needs to stop his wretched talking! He’s driving me mad! He wants to get rid of Zoey! I have to protect her! I have to silence him.
Day 7706
I woke up in a hospital bed. Psymon’s  jacket in my bed and his journal on my side table.
It has been about an hour since I woke up… I’ve just been informed this journal will not receive day 7707… I was the death of Psymon Abaddon.