Lost. | Teen Ink

Lost.

December 31, 2010
By Torpor SILVER, Allendale, New Jersey
Torpor SILVER, Allendale, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I was awfully dizzy, fumbling with the ridiculous sensation that I was falling, falling upwards towards the sapphire sky. Up, I went continuously upwards, while gravity struggled to push and keep me down. I was angry, furious at gravity and myself, for disabling my spreading of wings to soar boundlessly across these vast skies. My silky, jet black hair was caked with sunshine, lazily strewn about in a peculiar pattern as I lay strapped onto this emerald green grass. The sunshine had rudely overlapped my hard work from the night before, when I had the pearly, white rays of the moonlight thoroughly brushed in through the ends and roots of my luscious hair; as if a kind silkworm had woven a beautiful, shimmering nest throughout each individual thread of my hair, aided by the white mulberry leaves. Nothing made sense, yet at the same time, everything did.


My breathing was irregular and my liquid-like feelings kept shuffling about. The constant shift, colors and mixtures of blue from the breathtakingly beautiful sky overwhelmed my senses, heightening my adrenaline. My head felt as though an evil phantom took an axe to slice it open, leaving delicious entrails of my dying brain to drip away, permitting droplets of tasteful blood to taint this fresh, dewy grass. My disbelieving eyes were injected with immense awe and bewilderment, as the mighty heavens were seemingly getting closer and closer, aiming themselves to swoop down to gobble up my insignificant self. Almost there, no, almost here, almost reaching the tips of my bloodied, outstretched fingertips. I had torn and bitten off my polished fingernails, all of them, down to the very bare skin, and I was helplessly choking on the sharp, undigested remnants that would soon be accumulated into large stones, sitting inside of my already damaged kidney.


The hues of blue were frequently fluctuating, consistently changing, as were the cotton candy-like clouds in the azure sky. It were as if they were the ends of a white cotton swab or a soft cotton ball, if you will, seeming to be molded and stretched out by supernatural hands, forcing me to narrow my lovely view of the blues. I attempted to shove myself deeper into the mossy ground, covering myself, trying to hide within the insect infested dirt, disgusted and frightened by this sudden modification. I reviled at the vehement fog and mist that seemed to be shrouding over my exposed and torn open skin, rapidly signaling my antsy nerves to shoot unbearable pain towards every inch of my body. I had recognized it. It was salt. A tidal wave of nausea smacked my innocent and naive self, as my splitting headache grew increasingly worse. The smell of salt and the sight of a murky colored white was everywhere, being that there was no escape. It filled my head, my ears, and my eyes, dominating all of my senses. I had nothing to rely on anymore.


Something felt terribly wrong and my confused feelings were screaming at me, warning me to do something, anything. I idiotically missed my window of opportunity, my chance to get out of this miserable mess. I was falling downwards this time, as if the whole world had gone mad in trying to flip itself upside down, and I found myself to be crashing right into an ocean of pain, a watery pit of hell. Literally. I was smashed and immersed into liquid. I caught glimpses of the magnificent, cerulean colored waves that instantly gulped me whole, tossing me around as if I were a piece of garbage. I was desperately holding onto my breath while being smothered and suffocated, my tank of sweet oxygen dissipating ever so slowly. I was sinking. I heard the muffled sounds of the water gurgling and babbling, obnoxiously gossiping about me. Their talk about how some unidentifiable object had randomly intruded upon their pristine waters; it was rapidly streaming into my ears, drowning and corrupting my brain. Salt, it was burning me alive, down to the very core of my soul, and the icy cold waters didn’t seem to help me or soothe some of the agony.


I was trembling and shuddering with extreme exhaustion, indescribably weary from being thrown about carelessly in the waves. I wanted to give up. Everything was just so overwhelming, from my pounding headache to the colors and not being able to breathe. I felt myself fading, releasing the last few bubbles of oxygen that I had. My vision of absolutely nothing was shifting again, falling into a deeper shade of black as the seconds passed by. Those mere seconds stretched out into minutes, minutes turning into painful hours. It became as dark and obsidian as a piece of ash-covered charcoal, ebony inside and out, just like my heart. I gave up. I chose to accept the way things were, reluctantly releasing the strained tension in my worn out body, and was quietly swept away, guided away from everything and everyone.


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