Four Minutes to Midnight | Teen Ink

Four Minutes to Midnight

January 30, 2012
By Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." -Robert Frost


It was cold. I could feel it, even under the covers of my old bed. No, the house wasn’t drafty, and no, it wasn’t winter. In fact, it was a beautiful autumn night- my brown wood bed seemed to creak- or maybe it was the floorboard outside my bedroom. I sat up, shaking myself awake; it was 11:56 on my glow in the dark digital clock. Four minutes to midnight. Maybe mom was just getting a late night coffee or watching a horror flick. I groaned- barely mumbling “turn it down” I nestle my head under the covers, prepared to back to sleep.

I woke up again.

11:58.

Two minutes to midnight.

The creaking grew louder- if mom is watching psycho I swear I’ll- I thought, stopped in mid- sentence by the slow whooshing sound. My room seemed to grow slowly lighter.

11:59.

One minute to midnight.

The room felt like it was spinning- probably a dream- the light grew brighter. I popped my head up, searching for anything that could explain it- then the voice came-

“welcome to zero hour, Sofia”

it was slow, lilting, like my father’s when he boarded that plane…

“There are thirty seconds until midnight”

the voice continued, this time a booming explosion like outside the airport

“use it wisely”

the voiced said, full of innocence, like my six-year old brother Tyler tugging on my sleeve saying “Sofia, why is mommy crying” I shuddered- this was becoming too creepy- I tried to scream, but nothing came out

“Sofia, here is a chance to start your life over, make your father come back, your Mother happy again”

It reverted to a cooing comforting voice, like my babysitter five years ago- when I was ten.

“Make your choice now.”

The voice said imperiously, like my schoolteacher when I got a C.

I looked at the clock- I still probably had ten seconds left, it had happened so fast

“Yes” I whispered, and the voice heard. The room whirred, the digits on the clock spun, finally clicking to one number-

00:00

Suddenly it all stopped- I opened my eyes, it was morning- it had been a dream after all. the bird, a cardinal, I think, chirped outside my window. I could hear the dishes rattling upstairs-

Mom was making breakfast? I tried to remember the last time she did that- the day dad boarded that plane… a voice called from the hallway “Sofia you’ll be late for breakfast” it was deep and lilting, like my father’s- my fathers!

“Daddy!”



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This article has 8 comments.


on Dec. 27 2012 at 9:40 am
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Let&#039;s tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them.&quot;<br /> -John Erslcine

I was hanging on to my seat with that one! That was well written and made me keep guessing!

on Sep. 1 2012 at 8:55 pm
Randomscreennamelalalala PLATINUM, Bonney Lake, Washington
23 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.<br /> -Albert Einstein

Wow. Really suspenseful. I usually give lot's of feed back, but I didn't see anything wrong with this. Maybe add a little more confusion? She seemed to take the voice in the night pretty well. 

on Feb. 23 2012 at 9:56 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t punish yourself,&quot; she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing.&quot;<br /> --Markus Zusak, &quot;The Book Thief&quot;

It was quite suspenseful, I liked how you used the different tones of voice.

on Feb. 18 2012 at 3:58 pm
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.&quot; <br /> <br /> Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,<br /> &quot;What! You too? I thought I was the only one.&quot;<br /> - C. S. Lewis

:O That... had me on the edge of my seat! I think I ate my nails to the point of no return! I DID not expect that ending! Good job at creating the element of intense suspense!

on Feb. 18 2012 at 2:00 pm
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.&quot; -Robert Frost

Thanks so much, it really does mean a lot.

on Feb. 18 2012 at 1:59 pm
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.&quot; -Robert Frost

Thank you!

on Feb. 17 2012 at 3:16 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 425 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;d rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up<br /> ~Jhonen Vasquez

aa! BIG SURPRISE, it was AMAZING!!! :) I didn't really understand it until the end...and what a great end it was!!

on Feb. 16 2012 at 3:30 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

WOW Wow you got me hooked! The way you built up the suspense in the beginning made me shiver at the end of the story. You really capture the reader good!