This is a story I've never told anyone else, so feel special, because you're about to hear... umm well, read, something that no one else has ever known about. Besides me, of course...

It happened last October. Last October, I was spring cleaning. Yes, spring cleaning in the middle of fall... (you can already tell that this stories going to be incredible, can't you?)

Whenever I clean, I'm always really thorough. I figure if you're going to go through the trouble of cleaning something, then you might as well do the best that you can. So I, being a thorough spring cleaner cleaning in the middle of October, was sweeping the floor and set the broom aside to scoot the refrigerator over to sweep whatever had accumulated underneath of it for the past few years since it had been moved.
It took a few good shoves with my shoulder, and a few nudges with my hips to get it to move an inch. My bare foot touched the newly discovered film of grease and dust; I gasped in disgust and appropriately screamed "UCK!"

I went to the cleaning closet to get the mop and some cleaning supplies to scrub the grease film off of the floor. I sprayed some grease-remover and put all of my weight on the mop handle and began to scrub away.

...This is when I heard the screaming.
And the thumping on the porch.
My jaw dropped.
I ran to the porch door and opened it, just as the severed head of my sister rolled in over the doorstep.
Her mouth open and still screaming.
Her mouth, my screams.
A werewolf on the porch continued to dismember the body of my sister.
"UCK!"
I kicked the head back out of the door and closed it.
"Gosh dang it! I just cleaned this floor!" I grabbed the mop and quickly mopped up the blood and meat bits before they became crusty and harder to clean.