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Cyclopes
INT. A GREASY DINER - AFTERNOON
Bold officer MS MAY DAY is arguing with clever detective MR BODEN BARLOW. MAY tries to poke BODEN but he smacks her hand away.
May
Barlow stop being such a big baby, no one else saw you slip.
Boden
(Glares at MAY) Be quiet May, everyone in the diner saw, I heard everyone laugh.
May
They laughed at the comedy show playing on the T.V. dude!
Boden
Yeah right, then why did the one dude ask if I had a nice trip? Why would he ask if he didn’t see anything?
As May is about to defend her side of the argument, PROFESSOR TONY TRUSCOTT comes flying into the diner like a mad man.
Boden
Uh, hey brother uh are you good… everything alright?
Tony
Heck no we have a problem, a big problem.
May
Oh Tony what did you let loose from your lab this time?
Boden
If this is another lab accident consider me out. The last one made me bald and YOU still haven’t fixed it!
Tony
OK, in my defense, I was working on a cure for your baldness when I may have possibly let my cyclops loose and now I can’t find him anywhere…
May
Tony, you may be the oldest of us three but, you sure are the dumbest.
Boden
Be nice May, he is smart just not very mature yet. TONY where do you think he would have gone?
`
Tony
Well he did have an obsession with babies and wanting to tickle them sooo maybe the hospital nursery?
May
Well I guess we will go there first but, I doubt he would just slide into the hospital unnoticed. He has a single eye, someone would have had to notice by now.
Boden
I called the hospital and they said no one but the nurses have been around the babies. Tony you can go check the hospital, I got a call about some party bus so May will go with me to it.
Tony
Yeah, cause leaving me by myself always turns out so great.
EXT. A SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS
May rushes along the sidewalk to the cop car, followed by Boden. They hop in and take the alley way over to the party bus location.
INT. A PARTY BUS - SHORTLY AFTER
WILL GRID a crazy looking cyclops terrorises a bachelor and tickles his feet.
Boden, followed by May, hops onto the bus and suddenly the doors close separating him and May.
Boden tries to get the door open and while banging on the doors. May goes to the cop car to find a some tool to pry the door with.
BODEN
May it’s no use, get Tony and tell him his crazy cyclops is on the Party Bus with a bachelor party!
MAY
Tony won’t know what to do… are you nuts?
BODEN
I’m not seeing very many other options here May! Just do it so I can get the heck out of here!
EXT. ON THE ROAD - CONTINUOUS
MAY rushes to the cop car and calls Tony. She then hops in and flies over to the other side of town to get Tony. Together they track down the party bus but, they have no plan.
INT. MIAMI BEACH - SHORTLY AFTER
Will Grid sits at one end of the party bus tickling the bachelor while Boden tries to reason with Will.
BODEN
Will you need to go back to the lab now! Tony is on his way and when we get ahold of you, you will be grounded for a long time buddy.
WILL
Yeah ok I'll get right on that. Right after I tickle each one of these guys till they pee their pants. You just sit tight and be quiet or you’ll be next.
BODEN
Do you have these dudes under some trance? They aren’t even fighting back… did you steal a potion when you escaped?!
WILL
(laughs nervously) Uh haha what no… they just partied too much and are exhausted?
BODEN
Uh I swear I could be doing so many great things but instead I am always running after my brothers mistakes.
Just then Tony and May come flying in from behind and start tailing the bus. The bus takes a sudden sharp turn and we are now on the Miami Beach headed for the ocean!
Everyone in the bus is thrown together and Will somehow sneaks out the window.
BODEN
TONY IF YOU DON‘T GET HIM RIGHT NOW I’LL TELL MOM WHAT YOU DID!
TONY
Oh please don’t, she will sit there and lecture me for a whole day on being responsible and stuff.
EXT. THE FAMILY HOME - ABOUT A MONTH AGO
MOM
Tony your sister called, said you let your penguin get out. How many times do I have to tell you to be responsible with your pets and creations.
TONY
Yeah mom, but it was an accident she was locked up. The monkey must have let her out again. He was bad so I didn’t give him his monthly magazine subscription.
Their mother scolded Tony for about five hours and even then called him five times a day for five days after.
INT. MIAMI BEACH - PRESENT DAY
MAY
Well then get Will now! Before he takes off and we can’t find him again.
BODEN
Now that the bus is stopped, May will you please check on all the passengers and the driver. I have an important phone call to make.
Boden in the distance is calling his mom while Tony is tearing off his clothing and pulling everything out of his pockets. Will is nowhere to be seen.
TONY
Ah ha I found it! Boden you can stop trying to call mom now please.
At that moment, Tony blows on the bright pink whistle he found in his shoes and Will appears asleep right in front of him.
TONY
GUYS IT ACTUALLY WORKED, THE WHISTLE REALLY WORKED.
MAY
Yeah, yeah congrats but, is Will captured, these bachelor's need to go to the hospital for a check up.
BODEN
Tony mom wants to talk to you.
TONY
Uh… yeah Will is captured… I’ll return the party bus…BYE!
BODEN
Too bad she didn’t pick up, that would have been fun. Now, let's get these guys checked out.
INT. A HOSPITAL - LATER THAT DAY
BODEN
Alright May how is everything looking?
MAY
They will all be fine. We called their wives and they will all be here shortly. If the wives ask, they all had the flu and that is why they are here.
BODEN
Sounds good, and have you heard anything from Tony?
MAY
No but, mom called about an hour ago asking me what Tony did this time. I am going to assume he might be there?
Just then Boden gets a call from Tony. All that can be heard in the call is a Tony laughing and Will saying YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE.
BODEN
Looks like I am going to Tony’s. Keep me updated on the bachelors, I want to make sure they make it home safe.
MAY
Sounds good, good luck with Tony and Will.
EXT. THE RIDE OVER TO TONY’S
BODEN
I swear, Tony is a child, he needs to find a wife already. Maybe then mom won’t always be on his case.
As Boden is deep in thought, he sees Tony’s house in the distance and what looks like TONY on the ROOF!
INT. TONY’S HOUSE/LABORATORY
BODEN
Tony, Tony how do I get to you Tony!
WILL
Good luck getting to your brother, you’ll have to get through first boy.
BODEN
Uh, sure no problem. I mean your a cyclops isn’t poking your eye out the way to defeat you?
WILL
Do you really think I am that dumb… do you REALLY think I would just tell you that my weakness is a stick to the eye.
BODEN
Well ya kind of just did tell me so… yes I think you are that dumb.
WILL
Well this is awkward…
Boden immediately sets to finding a stick while Will tries to distract him in any way he can.
WILL
Hey, hey, hey Boden.. Hey Boden Boden. Am I annoying you yet?
BODEN
You’ll have to try much harder than that in order to bother me. Look at what I grew up with, Tony was beyond annoying.
WILL
Then how exactly can I distract you from finding a stick.
BODEN
Yeah… I am not making the same mistake you did. I for sure am not that dumb.
All of the sudden, Will starts to throw anything he can get his hands on at Boden.
BODEN
Will really are you two dude? Stop throwing crap at me man.
WILL
Stop looking for a stick and I’ll stop throwing things at you.
BODEN
I’ll stop looking if you let Tony go already.
WILL
NO, I am not finished with him. He needs to feel hurt like he hurt me when he locked me up.
Boden’s face lights up and then he surrenders to Will Grid.
BODEN
What if I have an idea that would make us both happy.
WILL
Depends what exactly is your idea.
BODEN
Well you want Tony to feel like you did when you were locked up and I want pay back for having to chase you around all day.
WILL
And? Get to the point already.
BODEN
I could tell my mom what he did and then we could lock them in a room together while she gives him a lecture… her lectures are the worse.
WILL
Hmm I kinda like that. He does complain all the time about the last time she lectured him
BODEN
Sooo, is it a deal? I can call May and have her pick Mom up right now.
WILL
Get your mother here first and then I will decide
Boden goes ahead and calls May to pick up their mother. Twenty minutes later they arrive and their mother starts to lecture Tony before she is even in the house.
WILL
Alright I think we have a deal but, they need to be in the room for five hours.
BODEN
My mother agrees as long as she can get a bathroom break when needed.
WILL
I suppose, how are we going to get Tony off the roof though.
BODEN
He has a ladder in the basement. Give me a few minutes and he will be in the room with her.
MAY
Boden… Tony is going to hate you forever.
BODEN
Nah he will get over it. I have a stick to poke Will with and once he's down Tony will be let out.
MAY
Oh good thinking… how long are you going to let it go on though.
BODEN
I’m thinking maybe take out Will now, wait three hours and just tell Tony we can’t find Will.
MAY
Good idea, I like it. How about we go get some food in the three hours.
BODEN
Heck yeah, ribs sounds pretty good right now.
MAY
Alright as long as we avoid that one place.
BODEN
Why what happened?
MAY
Uh Will is trying to escape gotta go!
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