Cast:
Character Wilson:

He is in his early 30s. He is of average height with medium length dark brown hair. He is witty, smart and sarcastic. He wears all black. He is the character based off the script for a Lifetime movie, Getting Over It. He follows the actor Wilson around, critiquing his performance. Only the audience can hear him.
Actor Wilson:

He is in his mid 20s and much taller than the Character Wilson. He has short blond hair, and has a muscular build. He is who the director has hired to be the actor for Character Wilson. He is cheating with Carol on the Director off screen.
Carol:

She is short with dark brown hair that is overly highlighted with blond streaks. She is 30 years old. She is the lead female in Getting Over It. She is married to the Director, but having an affair with the man who plays Wilson. She is controlling, passive aggressive, and a very unpleasant person.
Director:

The Director is of average height, he has medium length light brown hair. He is in his early 30s. He is a quiet person and he is easily over powered by Carol, his wife. He knows that she is having an affair with the actor he hired. He is smart and witty, but doesn’t show it outright.
Ben the Camera man:
He has medium dark brown hair, and is an average build. He is in his early 30s. He is witty, sarcastic and smart. He is the perfect fit for the role of Wilson.
Scene I
[The backdrop is the front of a café with an awning that overhangs onto the stage. The door to enter is cut into the backdrop at upstage right center. At right center, center, and left center stage are tables, each of the three tables have two chairs facing each other. Sitting at the right center stage table is Wilson, and sitting at the center stage table is Character Wilson. At down stage right is a movie camera, and a camera man running it. At downright center stage is the Director who is sitting in a director’s chair that has the Lifetime logo on the back; he faces away from the audience and has a script in his lap. Carol enters from the door at upstage right center and sits down at the table, right center stage, across from Wilson.]
Carol: They were out of blueberry muffins, sweetie.
Wilson: That’s alright, we can just talk.
Character Wilson: Don’t say it’s alright, why we’re even here is beyond me.
Carol: I just wanted to say how sorry I am; I made a huge mistake, the biggest mistake of my life.
Character Wilson: Before you say anything Wilson, you should remember that Carol has said that twice before and we need be cautious of her.
Wilson: It’s okay. We were in a fight and you didn’t mean what you did, I’m sure you were just blowing off steam.
Character Wilson: What are you doing?! You are not supposed to say that. You are supposed to be cautious, protective of your heart, remember the script, did you read it?!
Carol: [relieved] Baby, you know me so well
Character Wilson: Oh really, he knows you so well, doesn’t he? Well then he knows that you’ve done this three times before, and nothing changes. You will continue to cheat on him.
Carol: Can things just go back to normal?
Character Wilson: Wilson, don’t you dare. Don’t say it. I can’t handle her much longer. I’m gonna lose it. I’m going to erase myself, spill white out on the script. I will delete myself. Don’t think I won’t. You, I, we cannot be with her, she’s manipulative and crazy, and you know it.
Wilson: Of course baby.
Director: Cut! Okay, everybody take five.
[Director starts reading the script in his lap. Character Wilson walks over to the director at downright center. Carol and Wilson get up from the table and walk to downstage left, once they are at downstage left, they begin to argue, but the audience can’t hear them.]
Character Wilson: [shouting] what are you doing? [Pauses, and returns to a normal speaking volume] You know that it wasn’t written this way. You know that the wonderful writer created me, played by dumbo over there, to be smart and witty and to never say things like “Of course, Baby”. Anwheree did Carol even come from? She certainly wasn’t in the script I received.
Director: Okay you two, places
[Wilson and Carol walk from downstage left diagonally to right center stage.]
Character Wilson: This is ridiculous.
[Character Wilson walks and sits down at his center stage table.]
Carol: Oh Wilson, pull my chair out dear.
Wilson: Of course
[Wilson walks around the table and pulls her chair out for her to sit, pushes her in, walks back around the table and sits. The director looks up from his script.]
Scene II
Director: And action!
[Wilson starts to move his leg up and down in a rhythmic way.]
Carol: Oh honey, don’t do that, it’s bothersome
[Wilson stops]
Wilson: Sorry, I’m just hungry is all
Character Wilson: Don’t apologize, spineless puppet.
Wilson: So how did that big meeting at work go?
Carol: It went well; I think I’ll be up for a promotion soon.
Wilson: Was Robert there?
Character Wilson: Don’t ask that.
Carol: Yes, Bobby was there
[Wilson looks away from Carol and down at the table]
Character Wilson: I told you.
Carol: Darling, there’s no need to worry
Character Wilson: Oh yeah, [rolls eyes] because she’s only cheated on you how many times?
Wilson: Okay, if you say so
Carol: I do, so don’t worry
Character Wilson: Wilson, get up, get some self respect, break up with her for real, and walk off the set.
[Wilson starts to whistle All Alone by Fun. Character Wilson gets up and stands behind the table in between Wilson and Carol. He mouths along with Carol’s next few lines. He makes disgusted faces while mouthing these lines.]
Carol: Oh honey, don’t do that, you know I hate that song.
[Character Wilson looks at Wilson, and mouths along with him, with an overly apologetic face, to the point of being sarcastic.]
Wilson: I’m sorry darling, I forgot
[Character Wilson mouths along with both of them.]
Carol: [Angrily] how could you forget? Do you ever listen to me?
Wilson: I do listen to you, I’m sorry darling.
Character Wilson: [stands up on the table] you think he doesn’t listen to you [looking at Carol] How dare you. I’m stuck here listening to two… [looks at Wilson and Carol, then looks out at the audience disgusted] actors, [pauses] If you could even call them that, arguing about their “real” relationship while [points to Carol and looks at her] your husband films you too hoping that the people at Lifetime never read the script. That’s right, I may just be a character, but I do have eyes and I know that [looks at Carol then Wilson] you too are having an affair. [Looks at the Director] and he knows it. I may be a little rough on him, but the poor guy has to pretend not to know your little secret. Now I don’t care about your “real” life drama, just please, before I get sent to the shredder, could we please try to stick to the script? So I can at least have a chance at survival.
[Wilson stands up, Carol looks at him.]
Wilson: Cut! I’ve decided I’m done. [He looks at the director] I’m sorry Director Armando, but I don’t think I’m the right fit for this role.
Carol: What are you doing?!
Wilson: What I should have done from the beginning. [He looks at Ben the camera man] Ben, you would be the perfect fit for this character. Oh and Carol, it’s over. [He walks offstage to the stage left wings.]
Character Wilson: [looking at Wilson as Wilson walks away] now that’s more like it. I knew I saw something in you!
[Carol stands up and is about to shout something at Wilson but the director cuts her off.]
Director: Ben, you heard the man, get to your place. And Carol, I know you’ve been cheating on me. So I’ll call the lawyer and the divorce papers should be ready by Monday. Also, you’re fired.
[Ben walks to the table Wilson just walked away from. Character Wilson jumps off the table, runs to the Director and hugs him. The Director hugs him back.]