SCENE I
[Ruby, Evan, Jacob, Abby and Sarah are in a train car. Set in Washington, D.C. All of them are talking about a party later that day, at Sarah’s house. Ruby’s crush, Sean, is going. All enter running stage left and stand in center, swinging with the train.]

[Sarah]: Guys! The train’s about to leave!

All run center stage and stand in the train.

[Ruby]: That was a close call guys.

All nod their heads in agreement.

[Jacob]: clears throat before speaking So Ruby, you gonna ask Sean out tonight?

[Ruby]: No way! I don’t have the balls. I’m waiting till something happens.

[Evan]: I feel like he’d like it if you ask him out. There’s too much pressure on guys these days! I mean, why does it even have to be balls? Geez, Ruby, grow a vagina.

[Abby]: But some men like making the first move and think it’s weird and creepy when girls ask them out.

[Sarah]: Yeah. Ryan freaked when I asked him out. Luckily, he said yes anyway, but he has made it clear that it was pretty freaky and he did not like it, some s*** about how it made him feel unmanly or something.

[Ruby]: Thanks guys. Now I’m even more confused.

[Jacob]: This is why I love being gay. Either guy has to make the first move and it doesn’t matter who does it.

[Ruby]: Jacob! smacks him lightly Kay, guys, this is my stop. See you later!

[Sarah]: Text me! I’ll come by your house at 6 to get ready!

[Ruby]: See you then!

Ruby walks to center left. Jacob, Evangeline, Sarah and Abby walk off stage, still holding imaginary poles/etc. as if the train is pulling away from the station.

[Ruby]: Actually, I’m so nervous for tonight. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I feel like it’s something big. Something that’s going to change my life for a significant amount of the future, and I’m so scared. I’m scared because, well I don’t even know! We’re supposed to be open to the future right? Be open to the unknown? But the unknown gets me in trouble, all the time, every time. It’s not reliable! My parents…they’re pretty much…you know…stuff. I can’t describe. Like sometimes they’re chill but sometimes…they’re a whole new level of dictator. If my future f***s me up, my parents will become monsters. And I, obviously, don’t want that. So future? Don’t f*** me up. Please.

[End scene. Lights go dark, Ruby exits stage left]

SCENE II
[Jacob, Sarah, Evangeline and Abby are at the party. Some bass thumps in the background, the lights are dimmed. They laugh as they walk from top stage right to bottom left.]

[Evan]: Sarah, where’s Ruby?

[Sarah]: She went to the bathroom. She’s pretty nervous.

[Abby]: Oh Ruby.

Evangeline bites her nails, and stares at the floor uncomfortably. Silence envelops the friend group, awkwardly. The music stops. Everyone freezes and Evangeline walks towards center stage.

[Evan]: Hey you up there? It’s me, Evangeline. Evan. Please call me Evan. But I guess Evangeline is okay since I was christened that way and holy Jesus Christ I need to respect you. Whatever. It’s me. I can’t bring myself to be happy for Ruby liking someone, I can’t laugh with the others about how cute and awkward she is. Because I love her. It’s crazy, but I do. Send me to hell if you want, God, because it’s not a party without me. smirks and chuckles But can you give me a chance tonight? I want to show her. Maybe we can be something else. I guess that’s kinda ridiculous since I don’t think she’s into girls but maybe she would be?

Evan walks back to the group, to the exact same spot.

[Jacob]: You chicks are boring. Gonna go find myself a man.

The girls giggle and push him away. Jacob exits stage right.

[Ryan]: Sorry girls, I’m stealing my Sarah. Sarah, care to dance?

[Sarah]: Stop being the old romantic you never were. Girls, excuse me, my boyfriend wants to go make out somewhere.

[Ryan]: Babe, you know me so well.

Ryan and Sarah leave stage left, holding hands.

[Evan]: Can I say yuck?

[Abby]: Yeah, you can, Evan. Say it all you want. But I kinda want to find someone to make out with too!

[Evan]: Eww, Abby! Listen up everybody, Abby the innocent wants to get down and dir----

Abby slaps her hand over Evan’s mouth.

[Abby]: Evan! Are you crazy?!?!!?

[Evan]: Yes.

Ruby walks from stage right towards the group.

[Ruby]: Where the hell is everyone?

[Evan]: I’m hurt and confused. What am I, chopped liver?

[Abby]: Ditto.

[Ruby]: I love you guys, but seriously. Where are Jacob and Sarah?

[Abby]: Jacob went to find a man, and Sarah is shoving her tongue down Ryan’s throat somewhere.

[Ruby]: Sounds appetizing.

Sean enters stage right. Abby taps Ruby’s shoulder and points towards Sean. Sean is looking off to stage right, so he doesn’t see Ruby looking at him. Evan looks at Ruby, with a pained look. Ruby turns around.

[Ruby]: Oh my god I can’t do this.

[Abby]: Don’t be silly, of course you can!
Ruby turns around again. This time, Sean is looking at her. He starts walking slowly toward her.

[Ruby]: Holy crap, help me, he’s coming over here, what the hell am I going to d—

[Sean]: Hey guys.

[Ruby]: Umm, hi! (a scary looking smile comes across Ruby’s face)

[Abby]: Evan and I are gonna go get a couple drinks. Catch ya later, Ruby!

Evan gets dragged off, stage left, by Abby. Ruby clasps her hands and looks really awkward. Sean smirks and runs his fingers through his hair.

[Sean]: So what’s up, Ruby?

[Ruby]: Nothing much. Just…you know, annoying friends and school stuff.

[Sean]: (laughs) I guess I can say the same. Hey, have you seen that new movie?

[Ruby]: Which one?

[Sean]: The one…with the guy…

[Ruby]: Umm…you aren’t being really specific, are you? (chuckles nervously)

[Sean]: In truth, I don’t know what I’m talking about; I’m just trying to ask you out.

[Ruby]: (squeaks) Really?!?! (coughs) S*** that sounded desperate…let me try again (clears throat) Really?

[Sean]: (chuckles) Yeah, really. You game?

[Ruby}: (shy smile) Yeah.

[Sean]: Sounds great. Here, put in your number.

Sean hands her his phone. Ruby types in a few things and gives him the phone. Sean smiles and waves before walking off stage right. Ruby walks to center stage and turns toward the audience.

[Ruby]: Holy crap, did you see that? Sean, he asked me out! I put in my number! In his phone! Oh my god. I can’t believe that just happened. Me, Ruby? Average Ruby? Just me, Ruby. Oh my gosh. Oh my god. I can’t stop freaking out. I can’t! Holy crap, I need to find my friends before I look like a loner. Because he’ll come back and that will be awkward. Jesus, I need a drink.
Suddenly Abby and Evan walk in from stage left, and Jacob, Ryan and Sarah walk in from stage right.

[Abby]: We brought you a drink!

Ruby grabs the cup and starts chugging.

[Evan]: (somewhat hopefully) Jesus, that bad?

[Ruby]: No, Evan, that perfect!

All the friends surround Ruby. Abby steps out of the group. Friends look excited, mime talking and jumping. Everything silent.

[Abby]: I’m happy for Ruby, I really am. She deserves it. But at the same time, I’m not. I’m the friend who’s always there. The friend who’s all confident all the time and who walks around feeling great about herself. But what other people don’t see is that I am ridiculously insecure. And all I want, is to like someone and have them like me back. But there’s no one I know that can fill that void. Because no matter how much I want it, I’m scared, shitless. My parents divorced when I was young, and I…I’m afraid that the same would happen to me in a relationship. Even if I love them, it shambles. So I’m happy for Ruby. But at the same time, I’m not.

Abby walks back to the group. Jacob steps out.

[Jacob]: Ruby looks so happy! And damn, she got some hot bait. Sorry, not sorry, he’s hot, and if he were gay, I’d tap that. But I’m not into stealing my girl’s men. Because let’s face it, if I tried, it would work. On a more serious note, there’s something fishy going on. Evan. Look, I like her as a person, okay? But I get this feeling that…she’s not what she seems. Okay, out it goes. She’s not straight. Woops, cat’s out of the bag! She pretends to be. And I hate fakers. I hate them. It’s hard getting out of the closet, I know, I’ve been there. And maybe I’m prejudiced because my life has been pretty great ever since I got out. But I never, ever, pretended to be straight. And I can tell she’s got her eyes set on my baby girl, Ruby. I don’t want her near that innocence. Because even though I’m all for gay rights, because hey, I’m a f***ing walking rainbow, Ruby is my last little tidbit of innocence in this friend group. Abby can’t live right because her parents are f***tards and ruined love for her. Sarah is a slut, sorry to say it, but she is. Evan is Evan, all dark and mysterious and there’s a lot more crap under the surface. And I’m…I’m a mess sometimes. Life was harder before I came out, because people assumed and I denied. I used to cut myself. Not something I’m proud of but it’s there. But anyways, Ruby is my beacon of light. Her parents may be some seriously strict people. But Ruby is untouched.

Jacob walks back to the group. Talking starts again.

[Jacob]: Okay, now that I got the deets, I met this guy from that Episcopalian school in Northwest? Basically he’s hot and gay and I want in so bye.

[Abby]: Bye, Jacob! Kay guys, I have to admit, I want to go get with a hot guy from another school too. Hashtag it’s my slut night.

[Sarah]: Go be a slut! Have fun. (chuckles) Ryan and I are going to depart as well.

Jacob, Abby, Sarah and Ryan leave stage right.

[Ruby]: Well, Evan, guess it’s just us.

[Evan]: (sounding nervous) You want to go for a walk?

[Ruby]: Sure!

Ruby and Evan walk towards bottom center, right at the edge of the stage. They sit down on the edge of the stage.

[Ruby]: It’s so nice out here; I was literally boiling in there.

[Evan]: All those horny teenagers, man.

[Ruby]: But you have to admit you’re one of them.

[Evan]: I guess in a way. I guess it’s okay that they get it out of their systems at these things, too. I feel like sometimes adults don’t get us.

[Ruby]: I know what you mean.

[Evan]: I mean, we’re expected to act like adults. But then we’re treated like children? I don’t get it.

[Ruby]: Sometimes we act like children.

[Evan]: You’re not getting it Ruby. We are children. And we are adults. We’re just as mature as 20 something year-olds and we want to do the same things and we are just as smart as them. But we also still love our parents and our homes and we cry when we’re upset and we throw tantrums. But worst of all, we love just like adults do. And it hurts. And the child within us, it throws all the tantrums possible and eats all the junk in the fridge but nothing can cure the adult ache inside.

[Ruby]: Wow, Evan. That was poetic.

Evan lightly punches Ruby.

[Evan]: Yeah, sometimes I get that way.

Evan turns her head, to find Ruby staring at her. Evan leans in. Ruby hesitates, but doesn’t move back. Evan touches Ruby’s cheek, and pulls her in. They kiss. When the kiss breaks, Ruby jumps up and runs away.

[Evan]: (whispers) I love you, Ruby. Adult pain and all, I’ll take it, that kiss was worth it.

[End scene. Lights go dark, Evan exits stage right]

SCENE III
[Ruby is in her room, holding a journal. Her hair is a little disheveled, because she keeps running her hand violently through it. As she speaks, she’s writing in her journal.]

[Ruby]: What the hell just happened. What the hell, what the f***, f***ity-f*** f*** what have I gotten myself into. So basically, Sean asked me out, and that was great. But then, Evan she kissed me. And…I have to say, it was amazing. It felt so good. And so wrong at the same time! I’m straight, right? Straight with a dent? I don’t know. Sean texted me and we’re going out tomorrow. Maybe, when I kiss him, everything will be all right. I’m not saying it’s wrong because being gay is wrong. But…gay is wrong for me? I’ve been straight my whole life, always waiting for my prince charming. But I still can’t get Evan out of my head. She is so amazing.... Maybe I’m just hormonal. That’s probably it. I’ll write more tomorrow.

Ruby sighs, shuts the journal, and the lights go dark.

SCENE IV
[Sean enters stage left and stands bottom left, carrying a picnic basket. Ruby enters stage right and stands bottom right. Ruby is wearing pajamas. Sean is in regular clothes. Sean takes a phone out of his pocket. A phone sound is heard. Ruby jumps and attacks her pockets, and pulls out her phone after three rings.]

[Ruby]: Hello?

[Sean]: Hey, Ruby, it’s Sean? I’m in the park.

[Ruby]: Goddammit! I just woke up, I forgot to set an alarm. I’ll be there in 15, is that okay?

[Sean]: Yeah, of course, no rush.

[Ruby]: Okay, see you soon then.

Ruby exits stage right, hurriedly. Sean puts his phone back in his pocket and walks to center stage.

[Sean]: I guess I can say I’m nervous. I’ve liked Ruby for a bit. She cares about the people around her, and she’s so cute and awkward…but she looks hella sexy in tight clothing. (chuckles) She’s funny, and she’s smart. She always smells good. She’s not afraid to blurt out the truth. I can see myself in a relationship with her. That’s not what I told the guys, but I wish I had. All they act like they see is a nice ass and pretty face. I don’t know if they see more. But I do. I may act like a jerk around them, but I feel like I’m expected too. When really, I’m just an emotional, hormonal mess they call a teenager.

Ruby runs in from stage left and nearly collides with Sean. Sean chuckles and wraps his arms around her.

[Ruby]: Hey!

[Sean]: Hey, what’s up?

[Ruby]: Nothing much, I mean, meeting you here I guess?

[Sean]: Glad you did. I brought some sandwiches, a blanket, and a thermos with lemonade. My mom provided, I promise I didn’t try to cook.

[Ruby]: That’s awesome, because I bet you would have poisoned me.

[Sean]: (chuckles) Most likely.

Sean spreads the picnic blanket on the ground, and hands Ruby the thermos. She drinks and gives it back. Sean caps it and sets it on the ground. Silence. Ruby clears her throat awkwardly.

[Sean]: So…

[Ruby]: That awkward moment when you can’t think of anything to say, call the situation awkward, and make it more awkward?

[Sean]: I know a way to cure awkwardness.

[Ruby]: How so? Do enlighten me.

Sean reaches over and puts his finger under Ruby’s chin. He pulls her in to kiss him. The lights go dark.

SCENE V
[Ruby walks in stage right.]

[Ruby]: Parentals! I’m home!

Ruby’s mom and dad enter stage left.

[Mom]: You and I need to talk. Now. Sit on the couch.

[Dad]: Listen to your mother.

Ruby sits down, a scared look on her face. Parents and Ruby start engaging in a shouting match.

[Mom]: Do you have any idea why you are in a world of trouble right now? Where were you last night?

[Ruby]: I slept over at Abby’s house!

[Dad]: Are you sure you want to lie to us right now?

[Ruby]: I’m not lying!

[Mom]: Then how the hell did Sean ask you out on a date.

[Ruby]: How do you know about that? He called me!

[Mom]: Doesn’t matter how I know, I know. And I know you were not at Abby’s house last night, but at a party.

[Ruby]: How do you know that?!?

[Mom]: I read your text messages. You are such a whore! First you start dating a boy without telling us, you go to a party, and then you kiss a girl?!?! Pick a side, goddammit! I am not going to stand having some confused girl in this house. You know who you are and you are going to be that person. I never want you near that Evangeline girl again, do you hear me? Ever! I did not raise you to be kissing girls at parties! I raised you to find a respectable man in college and marry him!

[Ruby]: You’re such a bigot! I can be with who ever I want to be with! And so what if I am confused! I can be confused; I’m a f***ing teenager!

[Dad]: When you’re not acting like a whore, you can! My daughter does not go around kissing boys and girls! You are grounded! Go up to your room. And apologize to your mother for speaking to her in that way!

Ruby turns and runs off stage right.

[Mom]: What are we going to do with her?

[Dad]: I don’t know… I don’t know…

[End scene. Lights go dark.]

SCENE VI
[Ruby is in her room, holding the journal. Center stage. Writing in her journal while speaking.]

[Ruby]: So today was eventful, to say the least. I went on a date with Sean. It was…awesome. Like, everything I expected it to be? And more. Fantastic kisser. And I really, really, really, really, really like him. A lot. But I also can’t stop thinking about Evan. The more I think about her, the more I realize that I like her too. And I don’t know! Is it classic teenage rebellion for me to like her like that? Is it because my parents don’t like it that I like it? It makes sense if I think of the stereotypical teenager. But I’m not stereotypical! Or am I? Are we all a stereotype in a way? The way I defended her in front of my parents today….they got mad at me because they found out. They probably read my text messages with Jacob and Abby. Not a group chat, its individual. Jacob says to go to Sean. Abby says Evan. Half of me says Sean. Half of me says Evan. I don’t know! Either way I would be happy and sad at the same time. But one thing’s straight- I need to talk to Evan about this. Where does this leave us? Can we even be friends anymore?

End scene. Lights go dark.

SCENE VII
[Park scene. Ruby enters stage right. Evan enters stage left. Both are looking around so they bump into each other]

[Evan]: S***, sorry!

[Ruby]: Umm, it’s okay.

[Evan]: So, what’s up? You wanted to talk?

[Ruby]: Yeah…I need to talk to you about that kiss.

[Evan]: Yeah….about that….

[Ruby]: I like you, Evan, I do. But I also like Sean. And I don’t know what I’m doing.

[Evan]: Well, s***, Ruby. What am I supposed to do? I can’t be you’re f***ing mistress.

[Ruby]: I’m not asking you to be! I’m just telling you how I feel.

[Evan]: Ruby, I’ve liked you, for a while. Like, a year long, while. Sean? I know he likes you too. It’s your choice, Ruby. I can’t tell you what to do, and Sean can’t tell you what to do, Jacob can’t tell you what to do, Abby can’t, your parents can’t, no one can. It’s your life and it’s high time you start living it.

[Ruby]: Well, s***, Evan.

[Evan]: S*** is right, Ruby.

Evan walks off stage left. Sean comes on stage right.

[Sean]: Hey.

[Ruby]: Holy crap! You just scared me half to death.

[Sean]: Why? Is there anything I wasn’t supposed to have heard?

[Ruby]: F***.

[Sean]: F*** is right! Ruby? I…don’t know what to say. Why did you say yes to me if you liked her?

[Ruby]: She kissed me after I said yes!
[Sean]: She may have kissed you, but you let her.

[Ruby]: What was I supposed to do, Sean? She’s my friend! And you know what, I did enjoy the kiss, okay? I did. I am a teenager who likes getting kissed, so sue me!

[Sean]: There’s no need to get all defensive with me, okay? Because I’m the one who should be angry with you! But Evan’s right. It’s your choice. It’s not fair to keep stringing both of us along or to try to make us compete against each other in your head.

Sean exits. Ruby puts her head in her hands and the lights go dark.

SCENE VIII
[Jacob enters stage right.]

[Jacob]: F***ing Evan did what she did. Sean found out. Ruby isn’t innocent anymore. And as much as it saddens me, that it happened, it kind of enlightens me. Because I realized something. Being a teenager…you just lose your innocence. Because sometimes the bad overrules the good. And life turns you into a cynic. And life hurdles drama at you that in the future is going to seem like a teaspoon of sugar compared to your drama then. If this, right now, is a teaspoon of sugar then I want a f***ing soup’s spoon worth so that I can appreciate. But it won’t come, because the cynic I am and the cynic I will become and the cynics we all are- right now its salt in the wound, not a spoonful of sugar. And guess what, Poppins? The medicine isn’t going down!

Jacob stands in top left. Abby walks in stage left.

[Abby]: Love hit Ruby from both sides like two bricks. Love plays games with me! By appearing in the lives of the people around me and never daring to be within me. I may still be searching in a million years, who knows? Abby the Cat Lady has a nice ring to it. Because while all my friends are off with their boyfriends and girlfriends and various flings, I’m alone falling in love with fictional characters and ranting about it on social media.