A. Do you ever try to think about everything--the entire world--all at once?
B. I don't know... I guess...? What do you--
A. I mean, we all are thinking about pieces of life, right?
B. Sure
A. But do you ever think about the whole thing? Like, try to wrap your head around everything at once?
B. Um, I think... from time to time, maybe. Sure. Yeah, I do try, but I don't think I ever get anywhere.
A. Because there's just so much stuff out there that you can't... fathom it all? There's too much to be contained in one thought.
B. You know, I never thought that hard about it, but yeah. Yeah, I suppose, that makes sense. Because we, as humans, as living creatures, it's easier to think of things in simpler terms, but how we see them isn't... what they are... Does that make sense?
A. Totally, completely.
B. Cool, good.
A. That's like exactly what I was trying to get at, but you just said it so much better than I could
B. Thanks
A. No, like, really, you really know how to say things all clearly, and, intelligently... what's the word for that?
B. Huh?
A. There's a word for that, when you say things really... smart and... well...
B. I don't think it matters, you got your point across,
A. No, but there's a-- articulate! That's what it is. You're articulate.
B. Oh, well, thanks. (pause) You're not unintelligent, if I say so myself.
A. No, you don't have to say that
B. It's true, you are. Like, I may have said that thing well, but you're the one who thought of it.
A. Hm. (considers it) I guess so. (beat) We make a good team.
B. Oh, um, okay
A. No, I just mean... Sorry, is that weird?
B. No no no, not at all.
A. Because I know we, like, just met, and--
B. No, like, I agree. I mean, don't worry. It's...
A. Okay, I just mean. Nothing weird by this. I just--
B. I'm totally with you there, though. It's uncanny how we can be so intellectually connected despite hardly knowing each other.
A. Yes, exactly! That's what I'm talking about! That's exactly what I was thinking, but I would never think to say it that way.
B. What way?
A. Like with those words. So... articulate.
B. Really?
A. Yeah, like, um, I wouldn't say things like "uncanny," or...
B. Is that strange? That I say words like "uncanny"?
A. No. Well, I mean it's strange, but
B. Because people sometimes tell me my vocabulary is... out of touch with the rest of the world, or things like that.
A. No, well, you speak differently, but it's a good different.
B. It's weird, isn't it.
A. ...Yeah, a bit
B. Uh huh
A. But I like it.
(Pause. Neither is sure what to say.)
B. Thanks.
(Pause. Simultaneously)
A. So do you-- B. Anyway, what---
A. You go first
B. No, really it isn't important,
A. Okay, well, I was just going to ask where you got that vocabulary from. (Pause as B considers) I mean, not that you can really--
B. No, yeah, it's hard to say exactly where, I'm just thinking... a variety of places. I read a lot of boring, intellectual stuff, and think my--
A. Do you like that?
B. Do I like what?
A. You said you read boring stuff. Is it boring to you or just you think it's boring to other people?
B. Maybe like... I like it fine, no, I actually really enjoy it. I like learning about weird things that others might find boring or way over their heads. Like, if you ever read that stuff, I don't know if you'd, uh... I mean not that you're not, uh... (B is waiting for A to say something understanding. A doesn't.) I don't mean that you're... I already said that you're smart, didn't I?
(A is offended)
A. Did you, though?
B. Yeah, I think I did. I'm sure I did. You referred to me as "articulate," and then I said you're pretty smart.
A. No, that's not what you said.
B. Um, I said you were smart. I used the word "smart"
A. No, you didn't, I--
B. I'm fairly certain I can properly recall the words that I uttered just now.
A. No, you said I'm "not unintelligent," and you just did that again!
B. Did what, now?
A. Using words that normal people don't say!
B. No, those were words of normal--
A. No, you said "fairly certain," and "properly recall," and "uttered," and...
B. But, those aren't all that weird, I mean, you understood them
A. Whoa, what are you saying there?
B. What? What's offensive in that?
A. That those words are not big because I can understand them?
B. Okay, you know that was not the intended meaning.
A. You don't think I'm dumb don't, you?
B. No--
A. You think because we speak in different ways, you're better than I am.
B. No, I never said that!
A. But that's what you thought. Whether you admit it or not, you think you're smarter than me on some level.
B. No, I
A. Admit it. No, answer me this: who do you think is smarter, you or me?
B. What? I hardly know you, though
A. But you made a judgement already, and I want you to answer me honestly: who do you think is smarter: you or me?
B. I don't know you well enough to decide
A. That is really true, but you decided anyway. So, just tell me.
B. Fine, then. If you want me to answer you honestly?
A. Yes, that's what I said. Even if I didn't use your words.
B. Okay, then. Based on, our minuscule interaction, which is not nearly enough to make an accurate statement on, and really, what does that question mean? Who is smarter? Really, how does one judge that?
A. Okay, if you're not gonna answer, well, we both know your answer.
B. I guess.
A. That's what I thought.
B. But I don't--
A. Does it surprise you that I went to Harvard?
B. You went to Harvard?!
A. Does that surprise you?
B. I don't know, I mean, as I said, I hardly know you, but--
A. Does that surprise you?
B. Sure, I guess.
A. And why is that?
B. Do we really have to--
A. Why is that?
B. I don't want to--
A. No, I'm not gonna let you get out of this: why is that?
B. Because I have a bigger vocabulary than you, fine. Is that what you wanted to hear?
A. And you think that having a bigger vocabulary makes you smarter than me?
B. No, it's not that, I said before that if you're not so articulate, you're still smart
A. "not unintelligent," I think, is what you said then
B. Okay, "not unintelligent," which is still a compliment.
A. But...
B. But you have to be really articulate to get into Harvard. I mean, you have to write essays and... I mean, how did you do it?
A. How did I do it? I don't know, I just... did?
B. Are you more articulate if you have the time to think?
A. Uh, sure, I guess. I mean, yeah.
B. That response would indicate otherwise.
A. Shut up.
B. What did you major in? Clearly not English, or--
A. Hey!
B. Sorry, I just think we can move past this in our conversation.
A. I don't know if we can do that.
B. What did you study? Did you go there for undergrad or grad school? What was the--
A. I didn't go there.
B. Huh?
A. I didn't go to Harvard.
B. Oh, you just mean you got in there, but couldn't afford it? Or wanted to go somewhere else?
A. No, I-- I was just saying that.
B. So you just lied to me.
A. Well, not really...
B. No, you said you went to Harvard in order to further your argument, even though that isn't true.
A. I never said that, I said "does it surprise you that I went to Harvard?" I only asked if that would surprise you, I didn't say I went there.
B. One can reasonably assume that said statement--
A. Yeah, well one can reasonably assume that you're not a stuck-up jerk but that clearly isn't true.
B. Wow.
A. I just... I'm sorry.
B. No, it's... clearly this is not...
A. I didn't mean to,
B. No, I think you did.
A. I guess I did. You were such a jerk.
B. No, I'm really not.
A. Wow.
B. What?
A. Most people would apologize to that.
B. But the thing is I'm not--
A. I apologized for something I still believe in.
B. You do think I'm a stuck-up jerk?
A. Um, yeah!
B. I think I should leave.
A. Yeah, I think you should.
(B gets up, starts to leave)
B. You're not going to leave?
A. No, you are, so why would I leave?
B. Because we mutually decided we're both in the wrong?
A. Yeah, well I "mutually decided" that I had a long day and I can stay here.
B. Okay. And just a couple minutes ago, we were saying how we make a good team.
A. Yeah. Things change. Really quickly. That's how life works.
(B exits, A doesn't notice. A is looking ahead, still talking)
A. Because you can't dwell on the things that were or what could have been if only... if only... you know?
(A looks around, sees that B has gone.)
A. Oh, you left. And I... (long pause) and now I don't have anyone to... who's going to say what I'm thinking?
(lights fade on A, alone on the stage, face in hands, regretting what just happened)

END OF PLAY