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Worst Meditation Teacher Ever
Hey, welcome everyone. I hope everyone has had a calm and peaceful day, free from stress and worry. I’m Leila, the leader of this meditation club. I’m here to help you relax. Now, I want you all to think of putting all your worries in a big treasure chest and putting that treasure chest in the deep blue ocean, watching it slowly, but surely, float away. If you’re wondering what worries to put in the treasure chest, one example for me would be the fact that I need to get this 150 word essay done for Spanish. It’s due tomorrow, and I am only on my 28th word. This essay is worth a large portion of my grade. But that’s no reason to stress, right, guys? It’s just a junior year AP class, which makes it one of the most important classes on college applications. This is meditation, we’re supposed to be calm. Focus on your breathing. Breatheinbreatheout. Picture a beautiful sunset, with all different colors like blue and purple, and watch the sun sink lower and lower below the horizon. Try not to think about how for every minute you neglect studying, your possible SAT score sinks lower and lower. Try not to worry about the fact that if you don’t do well on the SAT, you won’t get into college. And you will be unsuccessful forever and ever. No, no, but you shouldn’t worry about that (starts biting nails). This is a meditation class, you’re supposed to be calm and not think about the 10 page SAT subject test question packet that was assigned to you that you’ve barely started. Okay, everyone, just stop worrying. Picture yourself atop a tall, majestic mountain, breathing in the fresh air. That mountain is almost as tall as the enormous pile of homework waiting for you on your desk at home. That work is probably going to take you over 4 hours to finish. Don’t worry about the time you are wasting in this club instead of doing that work right now. If you think about it, this club isn’t even beneficial because no matter how much you de-stress now, the stress is still waiting for you at home in the piles and piles of AP work, and the hours of studying you need to do to get a halfway decent SAT score. Seeing how competitive college is, you probably won’t even get in, no matter what your SAT score is. And even if you do get into college, there’s just more stress waiting for you there. Despite anything you can try to do, the stress will always be there. So if you’ll excuse me, this club is ending early so I can study. (Runs out of the room) Majestic mountain, majestic mountain, SO MUCH STRESS! Sunset, horizon, sunset, horizon, SO MUCH STRESS!
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