I was just happily ambling along, continuing to describe my memory of the time i got my leg caught in my old neighbors fence, when i saw a red flash out of the corner of my eye. i saw the kaki shorts, and long brown hair, and i knew what it was immediately. it was alex, he had suddenly darted past me. he whooped over his shoulder with an oversized goofy grin,"bet you cant beat me to the old fourth street bridge!" and continued back to sprinting toward his destination. i smiled to myself. Alex was always trying to make competitions out of everything. Of course he always won them all. I quickly flew after him. " you cheater!" i called after him. "I never cheat! ever!" he called right back at me. "Yeah right, dont cheat my a**!" i yelled. he replied with a snort of laughter. I finally caught up to him at the fourth street abonded bridge. of course he had won, yet again. "Alright, alright, good job" i said. but this time he didnt brag and boast and talk about how amazing he was. he wouldn't even look at me. He was just standing there, staring off into the distance, looking at nothing in particular. His body was rigid and tense. "Alex, are you okay?" i asked him as i gently touched his shoulder. And he didnt anwser me, he didnt anwser me for a solid two minutes. and those two minutes could have been the most enduring and dreadful minutes of my whole seventeen years. Alex had a knack for doing this to me. And it increasingly became harder and harder for me to be able to communicate with him. He would avoid serious talks with me now and i knew he was hiding something from me. But i didnt know what yet, and whatever it was, it was a growing problem. It haunted him, i could see it in his deep blue eyes that something terrible was troubling him and i was uncapable of knowing what it was or being able to do anything about it. it was painful to see, and i couldnt bare it. Two minutes was the lonest he ever went away from me, off into his own world, back into his thoughts of horror and worry. I could read it on his face. Standing there, right next to him, at the abandoned fourth street bridge, i read it on his face like it was engraved in his flesh. "What is it?!" i cried as i put a harder grip onto his shoulder. This time i got a reaction, but it was not one that i wanted. i wish i would have never have hollered anything at him, i would have given anything to have him staring off into nothingness again. he looked right at me. I couldnt do it, i broke down. The look on his face turned my blood in my veins to ice. The gaze in his eyes was....hollow. Vacant, there was no one home. There was no Alex in those eyes. The Alex i knew, that giggly, confident, bet you cant do this man that i was in love with. No. this was far far far from Alex. And it petrified me. Where was my Alex? Where had he escaped to? Why did he keep escaping to this place? Why couldnt he tell me what was wrong? "ALEX" i hysterically screamed at him, as i took him by his broad shoulders and jerked and rattled him until there was life back in his sad eyes. "ALEX" i cried again. He snapped back to reality with a staggering step backward. "Sorry." he simply stated. i just stood there, trying to support my shaky legs. He was looking at me, with life this time, but also with confusion, and fear. but not fearful of something in his past, fear or almost sympathy in his eyes for me. "whats wrong hun?" he said with concern. i didnt reply but instead took his now normal carefree face in my cold hands and made myself wish i could forget these last few minutes of my life. i knew it wouldnt work. i would never forget that empty face. "come on, lets go." he said with animation as he held his hand out to me. my mind and body was absoultely torn in two. How could i take his hand? How could i take it knowing that at any minute he might escape and run to a place so unknown to me. And holding his hand would not keep him anchored to this earth, my earth, this place that i call reality. It just wouldnt. so how could i? why would i take his rough warm hands in my cold frightened ones? it wouldnt work..... no more. he was a ghost to me. i will never forget....