Oh, freshman year. To be honest, that is where it all began. New town, new friends, and new public school. High school for that matter, but I was not worried about a thing. I was always a popular girl since I was little, naturally made great friends, and got along with everybody. Then again, that was in a catholic school, which is a great deal smaller than a public school. In my old class there were about 23 people and I was well liked, not to sound conceited. Freshman me did not believe there was much of a difference, so if I could enjoy middle school what's to say that I couldn’t do the same in high school? To my surprise, I didn’t know that public school was much more different than I was led on. They were not at all like the people from catholic school, and things got real instantaneously. I was introduced to people smoking, drinking, and partying, which was all new to me. I was no longer the “most popular”, and I even found myself failing to recall what the genuine definition of popular was. Not everyone liked me and whereas they didn’t exactly say it to my face, I knew. Overall freshman year in a new school, a public one, was a very humbling experience for me. Having only my ego and knowing no one, it was just clear that I did not entirely fit into the crowd right away. There were many perks and immeasurably more drawbacks of freshman year. One of the worst, that I will always be able to remember, is a story with a former “friend”. 

In highschool not everyone is going to be your friend, and most of all, everyone is fake. You can not completely trust anyone, learned that the hard way, and it all started like this. It was the first day of freshman year and I walked into school with my head held up high and not a doubt in the world. I went to my classes as usual and met people. Not going to lie, I was feeling a bit intimidated as I began to realize everything wasn’t as I thought it would be. I shrugged it off and talked to people and got a vibe off of each one. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been able to tell if something was off with an individual, which helped me choose my friends. I continued to proceed with my day and then I reached 5th period, Spanish. I met people there, as I did with all my other classes, but one person who stood out the most was Jamie Hughes. She seemed very confident and talkative in an intimidating way, in better words, she had a strong personality. Sure she seemed a bit annoying, but everyone seemed to like her. I analyzed the way she spoke to, looked at , and treated people and it wasn’t the nicest. However, she hadn’t done anything to me so I thought it best to leave it be.  

Now a month into the year I had become somewhat friends with this girl and got to know her a little. Maybe I had just judged her based on her cover? I learned a couple of things about her. She was jewish, which she didn’t let anyone forget, she fake tanned all the time, and dyed her hair blonde, which didn’t suit her at all. Finally, the main one, everyone found her pretty, however I didn’t, but who was I to judge her for any of this. It made me think that maybe I needed to view things from a better perspective. 

Jamie and I started to talk on a daily basis, and again, I started noticing how she treated other people, just as I had noticed on the first day. My first initial thought was, As long as it is not happening to me. Jamie and I talked for a little and we weren’t the best of friends, but we were friends. We took pictures and laughed, until December of 2022. I had started talking to this guy, Matthew D. (He goes to a private school). Soon enough word got out that I was talking to him and suddenly Jamie liked him. This is where all the problems started. She began to attempt to text him and tried to initiate something with him, but he turned her down. 

“Why,” Jamie questioned, “Do you not like me?”

“It’s not that, it’s just that I am talking to Katie, and I really like her,” He replied. 

As anyone could imagine, Jamie didn’t take that well. The next couple of days she started acting differently towards me, and it almost seemed as if she hated me. I shrugged off the thought and decided to give her space. However, Jamie wasn’t willing to drop the situation that quickly and would continue to pick on me. She called me names and would say stuff out loud, not directly to me, but loud enough so that I could hear. I let it slide and tried to ignore it all, laughing it off as some joke. I didn’t know what she was mad at the time,  and I certainly didn’t know that she was mad at me because Matthew turned her down. In fact, I didn’t learn  about that until after the entire situation had happened. 

So I continued to laugh it off, thinking she was joking around. That was until about two weeks later, where she took the first picture. While I was unaware, Jamie had taken a picture of me in the middle of gym class. 

One thing about highschool girls is that they only care for themselves and they are absolute ruthless savages. I wish I could sugarcoat it but there is no possible way. Highschool girls will leave you thinking to yourself, How could anyone ever think to do something like that?, and that is exactly what Jamie had me thinking. She went so far to the point where I didn’t feel comfortable in the same room as her. She has made me cry, lowered my self esteem (which I needed to be humbled but not in that type of way), has made me become even more aware of my surroundings, and keeps me paranoid.

So, later that day, Matthew sent me a picture of myself. It was edited, and my nose and ears were bigger, there were “devil horns” on my head, one of my eyes looked higher than the other, and there was green goo coming out of my mouth. It was very ugly, and when I asked where he got it from, he sent me a screenshot of his texts with Jamie. 

“This is who you chose over me?” Jamie texted under the picture she had sent.

Matthew had blocked her after that and we decided to move past the situation. At that moment, everything started to piece together, and I knew that Jamie was mad at me, and she was not joking around. That same night, before I went to sleep, I took a good look in the mirror and realized that my nostrils were huge. My eyes were lopsided, no, my face was lopsided, I looked chubby, my eyebrows were in desperate need of waxing, and my skin looked musty. I wasn’t happy with my appearance and I was just now noticing this. The next day I steered clear of Jamie, which should have been easy, but I had two classes with her. Physical Education and Spanish. She took a couple more pictures of me that day, about two with the flash on and who knows how many others. I was absolutely tired of it. 

“What are you doing? Stop and leave me alone,” I would say.

“Katie you're crazy, I didn’t do anything,” She would reply while laughing.

A couple of days went by and everything seemed fine and then I thought that she had gone over it. That was until 6th period, Physical Education. We were playing handball and  I went to use the bathroom. I heard three girls walk in and I could hear Jamie laughing. Maybe they were going to vape, or talk crap, or actually use the bathroom. Who knows. I finished using the bathroom and it went quiet.

 There was no more laughing and no one was talking so I checked under the stall to see if I could see feet in the bathroom. Two pairs of feet were planted in front of the stall I was in and they started knocking on the door, taunting and calling my name. My first thought was, What the heck?, and then I soon realized that it should have been Where are the third pair of feet?

“Katie up here!” I heard from up above.

When I looked up Jamie was there reaching over from the other stall with her phone pointing right at me. I saw the flash go on and I tried to run out of the stall, but her friends were blocking it, so I covered my face and tried to make myself as invisible as possible to her camera.

“Jamie, what is wrong with you?” I practically yelled. 

 It was the worst day of my life, and I had never felt so vulnerable. Never in my life had I ever felt so insecure, but I guess that was my fault for having such a huge ego built up from middle school. In that moment I realized a couple things. Teenage girls are cruel, not everyone is going to like you, and stop thinking so highly of yourself best because no one else cares that much, let alone notices. So if you ever do something, do it for yourself, not for the satisfaction of anyone else.  

The next morning I went to my guidance counselor and told him the entire story, because Jamie had officially and completely crossed the line. He was shocked, as anyone else would be. I mean, who in their right mind thinks to do something like what she did. Afterwards, we headed over to the vice principal's office to explain everything. After explaining the situation to both vice principals, Mr. Gideon and Mrs. Nagil, they took it into their own hands and confronted Jamie about the situation. I don’t know what they told her, but they did tell me that it was a good decision that I did not lay my hands on her, (even though I should have because she deserved it). So in other words they handled it and Jamie barely ever talked to me again. Of course I still saw her, because I had classes with her. She would still stare and maybe sometimes laugh, or maybe it was all in my head and I was just being paranoid. And I still am. To this day, about a year later, I am insecure and paranoid because of this situation. I am more aware of my surroundings and I have a harder time trusting people, so I guess I can thank her for that. What she put me through is a constant reminder to keep myself down to earth and stay humble.  

In the end, Jamie never did anything else to me, but I could still feel the insecurities that came with being around her. No, she wasn’t pretty and she wasn’t a nice person, so what was there for me to be intimidated about? She had a lot of friends and was well known, but what is that compared to the expense of happiness and a good self esteem? Absolutely nothing. Sure maybe I saw a little bit of my old self in her, which is what helped and motivated me to see things from a different and better perspective. I like to think that I can change the way I view things but I can’t change the way I felt about the situation. I also think to myself constantly on the things I could’ve done, and the things I should have. I should've stopped it from the moment I noticed something. I should've confronted and stopped her after the first picture was taken. And the fact that it was all over a boy who we don’t even talk to now. The fear of seeing her in a new class, at the mall, or even at a hangout terrifies me. A year later, I am building up my confidence back but in a way that keeps me grounded. The situation was definitely a learning experience, but truly no one ever deserves to go through anything like that. So let it be a constant reminder that it could be the people you trust most that can do the most damage.