Bullying. A universal problem that all teenagers face at one time or another. Though it may not be all that evident, it has become a very real danger, especially over the past few years. I hear many stories about bullying and its affects, the results often from being all to reticent- anxiety, depression, even cases of suicide. For most, bullying is overlooked and forgotten about, but for many, it is a real- and scary- thing. It leaves scars on the confidence, minds, even on the body of its victims. Sure, for most people it is more talked about than witnessed, but there are so many kids who would give anything to see it stop.
Everyone has been a bystander, has witnessed this act of dehumanization. Most likely, you didn't know what it was when you saw it. It has gone far beyond the big, scary kid who storms up to little kindergartners and shakes them until they give up their lunch money. Physical harassment is still common, but it is usually taken lightly or even goes unnoticed.
Being a girl, I have experienced more sexual harassment than anything else (as most girls unfortunately do), but I managed to brush it off and keep walking, because, along with being a girl, I am also a boisterous, crazy teenager, and usually don’t mind when crude comments are made.
But I began to see around me the seriousness of it. One of my friends brushed it off for a long time, until she was raped. She had done the same thing as me- turned it all into a joke, so the seriousness of it was not real. Except it was.

Yes, physical and sexual harassment are common, but I was not aware of the opportunities that technology could provide for bullies. Over the past few years, I have seen an explosion of reports about cyber bullying. I didn't know how hurtful it was until I became the victim- and eventually the instigator.
My freshman year in high school was the year I was looking forward to. That’s the year when everybody tries too much. The want- no, the need- to fit in is overwhelming. But I promised myself I would not be like everyone else. I didn't want to fit in, I wanted to finish the year without incident.
In February of that year, the entire freshman class received iPads, as a test to see how technology affects students. About the same time, we received a student from Australia,Nick, who gained too much attention, which I soon thought went to his head. On top of that, a very close friend of mine, also a freshman, committed suicide for reasons nobody really knows for sure. The mixture of these three happenings made me a little more than emotional and touchy.
I quickly befriended Nick, and soon, his was in my close circle of friends. He and one of my best friends were on the verge of dating, when we started arguing.
The iPads we were given had a ‘message’ feature, which allowed us to instantly message anybody in the school. Nick and I would often talk when we were home, thanks to this feature. One night, we were talking about some silly little thing that I don’t even remember, and it erupted into a challenge of wits, which then transformed into threats and name-calling. I didn't know it at the time, but his words were real, and the next day in school, many of his friends would call me nasty names in the hall and at lunch. I brushed it of for a while, until I couldn't ignore it anymore.
I posted a nasty status about Nick on Facebook one night, which ended rather ugly. There was name-calling and bashing, and eventually, the school got involved. It turns out I wasn't the only person who had problems with him.
Many parents had reported him for cyber bullying via school-issued iPad, but no action was really taken. The messages stopped, and we simply never talked to each other.
I’d like to say it all ended there. But it didn't.
I had been suffering acute depression and anxiety for many years before the happening, which, prior to this event, had been controlled pretty well. But, with the combination of his words, my words, and words of others, the depression came back. And it wasn't only in me. My friend who had almost dated Nick also had similar problems, and soon, both of us became extremely depressed. We both struggled with self harm, eating disorders, and suicide attempts for months after this happened. For me, it wasn't his words that hurt me as much as the fact that I gave in.
The sting of his words were temporary, but my words dug deep. Up until then, I didn't think it was possible for me to be so mean. Through all of this, I actually thank him. He helped me shape myself back into the happy, strong person I used to be. He may not know it, but I forgive him. I didn't think it was possible for me to forgive someone who hurt me so bad. He also probably doesn't know that I want him to forgive me. I really do.

Yes, bullying is a very real thing. It happens every day. Now that I know what it looks like, it makes it so much easier to see it. And having been both the bully and the bullied, I aim to stop it. As far as I know, it hasn’t worked much. I guess the reason for that is because I never shared my story. Not many people have.
Now that I have spoken to many about my situation, I truly believe that it is a very preventable thing. No, It’s never going to disappear completely, but every word spoken about it adds a little more strength to the awareness and prevention.
And, if you ask me, it’s getting pretty darn strong.