After reading 13 Reasons Why, I was taken aback by the affect it had on me. I had previously thought of suicide as a very selfish and self-centered act. This book changed my understanding of how someone can come to the decision of committing suicide. In 13 Reasons Why, Hannah Baker records a series of 7 cassette tapes, on these tapes is an explanation for why 13 people contributed to her committing suicide. These tapes are mailed out and passed to each person on a list, each person is supposed to listen to all the tapes and then pass them to the next person. If they do not, there is a second set of tapes that will be released to the public. Basically, there are many small, seemingly meaningless situations that had a great affect on Hannah. It makes the reader think about how one interaction with a person can change a lot about how that person feels. The book pushed me to stop thinking only about me and my feelings. I want to be more aware of others and by doing that I think I could truly help someone who is struggling.

Listening to Jay Asher speak, got me thinking about 13 Reasons Why again and about what leads a person to suicide. I don’t think it’s ever one single moment or one bad event that will cause a person to kill himself. I think it’s a series of situations and words and actions that all build up.

As a child, one does not understand the concept of hurting someone’s feelings. Children say and do things without thinking it through. He doesn’t realize what he’s saying could hurt another child. I work with kids that are elementary school aged and I see these innocent insults being thrown about all the time. It’s hard to explain to a child that calling a girl or boy ugly or making fun of what she or he says, is wrong. The child just doesn’t see the connection. That is until something mean is said to him. Many times this isn’t the case though, children will come together and exclude one person. I believe that parents should be trying to work the concept of words hurt into their child’s mind. Teachers should also be teaching lessons that have to do with bullying. Without this, children won’t even know that bullying is a thing. They have to be told about it early so that permanent damage isn’t made that early in life.

Middle school is a hard time for any kid. It’s that unfortunate era of the pre-teen. The stage between childhood and being a teenager. Kids during this time are insecure and self-conscious, no matter how confident they act. In middle school, being different doesn’t make someone interesting and unique, it makes him or her weird and unappealing. Everyone wants to feel better about themselves and this pushes them to pick on what’s different. Hurting someone else inevitably makes you feel better because you don’t have whatever you’re making fun of on the other person. Middle schoolers feed on this feeling and even though they are now old enough to understand the hurt they are causing, they are selfish and just want to feel better about themselves. I can remember middle school and I do not have fond memories. There was always drama and it was never necessary. The pain that someone goes through in middle school can stick with them especially if he or she is the different one or the one was chosen by others to be singled out. I feel that there are even more limited ways to get people to change their cruel ways in middle school. Everyone feels like they’re too cool or that they aren’t participating in the bullying that is talked about.

High school is when the walls go up. No one wants to be vulnerable and we all want to appear stronger than we really are. We act like nothing can hurt us when in reality, every insult or jab still hurts. High school is also when everything from elementary and middle school has built up. Now that person who was picked on all those years is truly feeling the effects of it. The problem is now one is old enough to understand cutting and suicide and ways to relieve this pain he has always felt. I believe that high school is the time that real change can happen. High schoolers are old enough to know what they are doing when they hurt someone and why they are doing it. I can see that programs and speakers are being brought in to educate high school students about bullying. I think all of this is great and it needs to continue. If one person stops hurting someone else because of an anti-bullying program, then it’s worth it. But sometimes we can understand the pain we cause, but yet people continue to do it. We feel pressure from all around, parents, peers and teachers. Pressure combined with insecurities can lead to depression and eventually suicide. 13 Reasons Why is set in high school and many of the events leading to Hannah’s suicide occurred in high school. A lot of good and bad can happen during those 4 years in high school.

It’s hard to think about everything that goes on all the time involving bullying and intentionally or even unintentionally hurting others. I’ve participated in it and I think it would be impossible to say that you never have. Now, I have to focus on what I can do to change the viscous cycle that leads to suicide. 13 Reasons Why has inspired me to pay attention to how others are acting. Pay attention to what I say and what I do to prevent hurting others. I can’t be afraid of standing out and breaking away from what everyone else is doing. I think the point is that no one wants to end up on a tape as a reason why someone committed suicide.