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What Do I Fear More: The World or Disappointment?
I was trained to be scared. As a little girl, I was told to “be careful” and not to “get too close” to anything potentially harmful or risky. I was raised to have a “better be safe than sorry” mindset, to fear the world, and to not take risks. My parents had the best intentions of course, but this guidance is hindering me as I begin to build my future. I am afraid of choosing a far away college. I fear investing in a career that is not lucrative but makes me happy. Failure and my family’s disappointment terrify me. But now I have different ‘parents.’ What guides me now are the ideas of my generation. The ideas of accepting yourself, others, and your interests. Whether they be political, sexual, or career-based, you decide your life. These two different mindsets are constantly causing conflict when making these momentous decisions regarding my future. What do I fear more: the world or disappointment? That is the question that determines my life.
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