The Impact of Toxic Masculinity
Despite its title, toxic masculinity is not masculinity. It is the preconceived notion that men should act in a way that society sees fit. Toxic masculinity can be viewed as “suppressing emotions or masking distress” as well as “maintaining an appearance of hardness” (Salma, 2019). Although the term, toxic masculinity, has been used for only 30-40 years, the actual concept has been around for as long as society has impacted people's outlook on others. Toxic masculinity itself does not only heavily impact the lives of men and the men that experience it, but as well as women who face the repercussions of their partners and friends' heightened aggression and suppression of any form of emotion (Salma, 2019). Because of this, I believe that toxic masculinity as a concept as well as it is an action should be made a more conversed topic and should ultimately be ended.
Toxic masculinity has been around for as long as the general society has had any influence or impact on men. It was a pathway to follow for any man to be deemed masculine in the world's eyes (Gallie, 2020). Although the term toxic masculinity has only been around for a handful of decades, a similar concept, machismo, has been around for much longer. Machismo is the Spanish term for masculinity (Coronado, 2015). “The origin of machismo can be traced to pre-Columbian times and has been influenced by both indigenous and European forms of masculinity” (Coronado, 2015). As a man, experiencing toxic masculinity and being a person that is impacted by it directly, the compression of emotions and other “non-masculine” traits can lead to “gender-based violence, sexual assault, and gun violence” (Sheppard, 2020). As for the men that are experiencing the effects of machismo or toxic masculinity directly, it can weigh on them both emotionally and mentally. It can do this by convincing the men that their feelings and emotions, towards anything, should not be spoken about or mentioned. This leads to built-up emotion and eventually, aggression, which could soon after be acted on but onto someone else (Gallie, 2020). This built up aggression could be displayed as yelling, verbal abuse, physical abuse, verbal degradation (Salam, 2019). These can be towards the man's own person or towards any person involved with them such as family, friends, or significant others.
Toxic masculinity and its effects still play a role in our current society in many ways, but the most prominent and concerning way is in the people who are directly affected. This includes the men subjected to it and directly experiencing it, as well as their friends, family, and significant others. In “The Dangerous Effects of Toxic Masculinity”, Sheppard states that men will “actively avoid vulnerability… ignore personal traumas or exhibit prejudice behaviors against women.” She also mentions that “this contributes to many larger societal problems, such as gender-based violence, sexual assault, and gun violence.” The act of holding in emotions and ignoring the traumas can cause hostility and even may cause the person to lash out inappropriately. This sudden burst of violence can be inflicted on oneself, family, friends, or significant others. This can, as mentioned before, can lead to further violence such as sexual assault if the first outbursts are not handled correctly (Stunt, 2020). In a lot of cases, the man lashes out at their significant other, mainly when it is a woman, because of their vulnerability of which they do not obtain themselves. One example of this is mentioned in “How men in Latin America are unlearning machismo” where Stunt mentions a story. “Mendez was stabbed in the chest by her ex-partner, who later brought her to a Bogota hospital saying she was attacked in a robbery.” This shows just how serious some forms of toxic masculinity may be and how they may appear differently in different people. Despite the physical dangers, there are still some that apply to the mental health of those who experience this. “As of 2018, significantly more men than women died from an opioid overdose. Men are far more likely to die by suicide than women. Men, like women, experience anxiety, depression, and mental illness. However, men are more likely than women to underutilize mental health services, and they are more reluctant to seek help, especially when it comes to mental health.” (Sheppard, 2020). Men are more reluctant to the idea of seeking help in fear that they may be seen as weak or feminine for feeling these emotions that the media has taught them to hide.
As obvious as it may seem, toxic masculinity is a toxic and harmful way of living and must be brought to an end if there is going to be any type of effort towards gaining back both positive mental health rates and trust in men. In order to even begin bringing the toxic standards of masculinity to an end, there must be evaluative steps that have to be taken in order to make sure that everything is covered. According to Gabriele in his article “5 Ways Every Man Can Challenge the Toxic Culture of Masculinity”, there are 5 main ways to rid ourselves of toxic masculinity. Some are “Examine your unconscious biases...Take a genuine interest in the experience of others...Take a stand...Be transparent about your health with other men.” Firstly, unconscious biases need to be assessed in effort to try and figure out the root of the problem. If there are trigger words or actions that would make the man lash out or feel upset, those need to be assessed and further evaluated to see if there is a way to help lessen those triggers. Being unconscious, the man might not even know that they are happening and that is why it is important to pay close attention to your own actions when something upsets you as well as the actions and words of others (Gabriele, 2020). Secondly, the act of taking interest in the experience of others may help you to realize that you are not alone in what you are feeling and that there are people out there that relate to what you are going through. Next is taking a stand. This one is important in the sense that it not only builds your confidence in your own experiences but also gets the word out to people that may be going through the same thing or have never even heard of the concept. Awareness is key and by taking a stand, you allow yourself to open and up give other men the chance to stand with you and open up as well. Lastly, there is being transparent about your health with other men. This, I feel, would force you to be the most vulnerable as you may share your experience with another man that would think of your vulnerability as embarrassing or negative. This is by far the most vulnerable of steps but by getting your experiences out there with other men that you trust, you not only share what you know, you also create a potential bond that formed with the vulnerability displayed (Gabriele, 2020).
Toxic masculinity itself does not only heavily impact the lives of men and the men that experience it, but as well as women who face the repercussions of their partners and friends' heightened aggression and suppression of any form of emotion. Toxic masculinity and machismo are still heavily relevant in our society today and between taking a stand, changing and eliminating stereotypes, and allowing men to communicate their emotions both freely and without judgment, we can better our communities and the quality of lives for many.