Your mom has birthed you. Now what? You’re old and maybe you’re starting to forget about her. I’m here to give you the step by step on how to show affection towards your mother. First, you have to do the reasonable thing, see her, you have to drive about 30 minutes, maybe up to an hour, with your back straight, arms out in front, with hands on the steering wheel so you don’t develop scoliosis. While driving you start to think about all the amazing things your mother has done for you. 

First she had to go through those 9 months of hell. She watched your annoying self grow up, bothering her every second of your life, saying “I want this'' or “I want that''. I don’t blame her for whooping your butt. If your mother was single she worked overtime to get food in your system, or to buy you those annoying barbie toys or elmo toys. By the time you’re done thinking about all the great things she's done for you, you realize you have that dumb smile on your face, the one you get when someone compliments you, yeah i know what that's like. 

You’ve arrived safe and sound. Knock on the door as if she’s a stranger to you, she’ll open and greet you, and she’ll be glad you got there safe and sound. Now here's the hard part, a hug. What do you do? Do you give a side hug? Do you not hug her at all? Don’t be an idiot and hug your mother. 

Give her a genuine hug, one that makes you feel comforted, one like a hug is something to fix the world's terrible doings, like the one she gave you when you were first born. Yep, she hugged your disgusting self, covered in blood and all those liquids, gross right?  Let's not go into detail. The point is she hugged you, crying, excited to start a new life with you. So, you do the same. Hug her, kiss her on the cheek, tell her you love her everyday, tell her that you want her to have an amazing day, tell her to get home safely, and most importantly tell her to not be an idiot and make good choices. 

That’s how you show affection to your mother, with actual happiness, genuine happiness. Happiness that makes her feel like “yep, this is my daughter” or “yep, this is my son”. Because I know I do. Appreciate your mother, honor your mother, and talk about her to everyone. Her happiness is your happiness.