Every day she comes to school with long sleeves. No matter the day, or the weather. She prefers to sit in the back of the classroom, away from everybody, silent. It is not because she does not like people, it is because she does not like herself and the things that have been done to her. She is one of the many silent victims populating the average high school.
According to RAINN, “1 in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experience abuse.” Exploring the different ways abuse can take form and the help that is available is a good way to combat this often hidden problem. There are many different types of abuse. Yes, most of the time physical abuse comes to mind first. Though there are Nine different types. Physical, neglect, financial, sexual, emotional, psychological, verbal, spiritual, and cultural violence and or abuse.
As a victim who reached out and got the help she needed, she wants to share some insights with her peers who may find themselves in a similar position. Many children grow up in families who have abusers in them and they believe everything they are told.

“You made me do this,” “You’d do it if you loved me,” “You’ll never amount to being anything,” are all great examples of that. Inappropriate behaviors on the part of the abuser are seen as okay because children do not know the difference. “It wasn’t my idea, it was yours,” “You’re overreacting,” “I said I was sorry! What more do you want from me,” these are all things said by the abuser to manipulate the child. Being 15 now, looking back on it, I realized all of that was not okay.
Children going through physical abuse and neglect go through many different things. Neglect is failing to be cared for properly. Physical abuse is intentional bodily injury. Falling into the category of neglect is slapping, pinching, choking, kicking, shoving, or inappropriately using drugs or physical restraints is failing to truly care for your child properly. Neglect can look like a lot of different things. Including, not being nourished correctly or not properly housed or clothed. It sometimes is hard with children to see if it is punishment or physical abuse. Though there is a fine line.
Abuse can be defined as ill-treatment or misuse. While punishment is when a penalty has been imposed on someone for an offense. “Discipline is not punishment, so it is easy to distinguish it from abuse,” says Dr. Halpern. “However, there is often a fine line between punishment and abuse.” A parent or caretaker may approach this line if the way they are behaving toward the child starts to mimic the way the child is behaving toward them.
Financial abuse is one of the harder abuses to put your thumb on. It is a common tactic used by abusers to gain power and control in a relationship. If the victim does not do what the abuser wants, the abuser can easily make the victim's money disappear. Meaning they spent it or they are holding it in a different place, hidden from the victim just because they did not do what the abuser wanted. Financial abuse can include destroying, damaging or stealing property of your partner. Racking up debt on accounts or credit cards you share. Withholding financial support like child support payments and refusing to work or contribute anything to the household income. If you have gone through this type of abuse you most likely, if you did not have anybody to help you were unable to obtain safe and affordable housing or money to provide for yourself or your children.
One of the most common forms of abuse is sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is sexual behavior or a sexual act forced upon a woman, man, or child without their consent. If you give consent and you are under the age 16 the act is still classified as statutory rape. The Rape Crisis states, “Sexual violence is a term we use to describe any sexual activity that happened without consent. This includes rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse and sexual harassment.” One important thing to remember with this sexual abuse is it can happen to anybody at any time; 39% of sexual violence is committed by someone the victim knows. The probability of sexual abuse is increased by cultural, environmental, individual, and family factors. “Over half of women and almost 1 in 3 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes.” Quoted by the CDC.
These forms of abuse may be more difficult to talk about personally. These forms are kind of all in the same “family”. “Psychological abuse involves the regular and deliberate use of a range of words and non-physical actions used with the purpose to manipulate, hurt, weaken or frighten a person mentally and emotionally.” As stated by Safelives, verbal abuse falls under the same umbrella of psychological abuse. Words are used the same way; they are used to manipulate and degrade the victim. When the victim's self esteem is destroyed by verbal abuse, they become dependent on the abuser for any feelings of accomplishment, value and self worth. “You are no more than they say you are.” Emotional abuse is used in that same way; someone withholds love and affection because you are not “worth it” in their opinion, for love. According to WomensLaw, “Emotional and psychological abuse can have severe short- and long-term effects. This type of abuse can affect both your physical and your mental health. You may experience feelings of confusion, anxiety, shame, guilt, frequent crying, over-compliance, powerlessness, and more.”
Beyond the physical and emotional states abusers can even tap into your spiritual and cultural beliefs and abuse you through that. They can use your beliefs against you. Spiritual abuse does not have to be a religion, it can also your spirituality.

Breathwork, meditation or quiet time, new age spirituality, prayer, service to their community, spending time in nature, spiritual retreats, yoga, are all great examples of spirituality and things that the abuser can take control of and use against you. The abuser can stop you from doing any of those things and tell you that if you do not listen to them or do what they want, they can stop you from doing the thing you do to express your spirituality. “Cultural Violence represents the existence of prevailing or prominent social norms that make direct and structural violence seem “natural” or “right” or at least acceptable. For example, the belief that Africans are primitive and intellectually inferior to Caucasians gave sanction to the African slave trade.” Stated Peace and Violence. Violence and abuse can cause depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, and suicide.
One of the most effective ways to get help is just reaching out and communicating to people. Tell people about what you need and what happened to you. You never have to keep your abuse a secret. That’s how it gets worse. Victims will understand that it is hard to speak up but to keep yourself safe and other people safe from the same type of situation, and or from the same abuser, SPEAK UP!! There are ways to heal, North Point states, “familiarize yourself with what constitutes abuse, recognize the qualities of a healthy relationship, know that it is not okay, understand that abuse is a cycle, reach out to family and friends, seek the guidance of a professional, stand up for yourself!! 800-799-7233. 800-656-HOPE(4673). Online.rainn.org. 1-844-762-8483. www.stronghearts helpline.org.

Nine types of abuse. Physical, neglect, financial, sexual, emotional, psychological, verbal, spiritual, cultural violence and or abuse. They all happen. Some of them are more common than others. Though, they all happen. In any type of situation and or relationship. Anywhere, anytime. In this paper, I explored each type of abuse. I went into examples of each of them and how they each could affect a person. Physical abuse is to your body. Neglect is not being cared for the way you need. Financial abuse is money wise. Sexual abuse is anything that happens to you sexually without your consent. Emotional, psychological, verbal abuse is words and with your mind. Spiritual and cultural abuse use your spirituality and cultural ethnicity against you.