Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, founded this site as a way to connect with friends. With Facebook continually increasing in popularity, it is socially acceptable for almost everybody to have an account. All of the people on Facebook are bound to separate into certain classifications. Lists of friends can be broken apart and analyzed to place individual friends in groups. Thank goodness too, so that we can monitor and filter out the unnecessary friends if need be. Sometimes, we need to be able to differentiate between our Facebook friends and our real friends.

Who are you again? Oh well, I guess I’ll add you. This particular type of friend is a totally useless Facebook friend. These are the friends who you don’t really know or share anything in common with except for the fact that you both have a Facebook. You befriended this person most likely because they were under the “People You May Know” box. You probably see them around at school in the hallways or maybe you had a class with them freshman year. Even though they are a “friend”, you can’t comment on their pictures or their statuses and you can’t write on their wall at the risk of sounding like a creeper. The fact is that without Facebook, you would never consider them a friend, heck, you’re lucky if you can even remember their name. So the next time you decide to do a little spring cleaning, it would be best if you threw these guys away.

Ugh, I’ll add you, but don’t tell anyone. Everyone has a couple of these guys on their friends list, and it would be just too heartless of you to block them. Of course you didn’t search for them and add them yourself; they found you and sent a friendship request. You see them in class or at the lunch tables eating by themselves day after day, why make their lives more miserable by ignoring them? Facebook is as far as you want this friendship to go but with you as their only friend, you might have to suffer saying “hi” back to them in the hallways and swallow your pride when they want to be your lab partner in science. You will just have to deal with it and accept the consequences of your kindness. Sure, they might not be your friend in real life, but nothing good would come from deleting them and they’re not causing any harm, right?
Really mom? Fine, I’ll add you. Unfortunately this type of friend is not a friend of the family, but a member of your family. Why they feel the need to become Facebook friends with you when you are already required to love them unconditionally will be forever shrouded in mystery. It’s not like you can decline their friendship request, you see them too often and it might be brought up in casual conversation. “Hey, did you get my friend request on Facebook?” “Uh no I don’t think so,” “Well that’s ok; I’ll just send another one.” Super. If you don’t add them, they’ll be suspicious of why you didn’t and if you do add them they might see something they weren’t supposed to (we are just kids after all). Keep them as your friend until they get too old to know how to use the computer.

Hey you’re in all of my AP classes, add me! This next type friend is a go to friend in emergencies. You probably have one in each of your classes, that one person who is on top of everything. You can identify them on Facebook by looking at their status updates. Most likely they will be about finishing the dreaded AP US History packet (that you have not started yet) or about how much they hate Calculus (and you thought Algebra was hard). Never fear though, thanks to their diligence, they always have time to help out a friend. Maybe you were sick for a couple of days or forgot to write down that day’s assignments, or maybe you spent your whole night on Facebook and need their “help” on your homework. “So what’s the answer to number 2?” “X equals five; do you want to know how I got that?” “Nope I got it.” Yeah right. These friends are probably nice enough to even send you a personal message with all of the lab data that “you just couldn’t figure out.” Outside, in the real world, you talk to these kids and most of the time you find yourself showering them with thanks and trying to make it up to them. But don’t worry; they’ll gladly do it again, just be sure to never delete them from your friends list.

Its you! Let’s be Facebook friends! They are more than a just a friend that helps you with homework, but less than a best friend. Their status updates will appear on your wall and you might even be tagged in a few of their photos. You like to have these people in your life, but you wouldn’t die without them. They are great for talking to, joking around with, studying together, and even sending annoying Cafeworld requests (you just need 2 more friends for the next level of cuisine goodness!) but not quite ready for making a whole album dedicated to them. You probably sit next to them in class or do extracurricular activities together but you still had to wait for a couple of weeks before sending them a friend request. But now that you are friends with this person, it would be wise to keep it that way with the hope that you might grow closer.


I.LOVE.YOU. These friends don’t need to be Facebook friends with you to know that you love them. After all, you probably have four classes together and text them during the other two classes anyways. They were the first couple of people that you added as a friend when you first mad a Facebook account. Random “I <3 u” comments are sporadically posted on their walls and throughout their pictures. You have whole photo albums dedicated to your weekends spent together. Your statuses are filled with their names and the same goes for theirs. You can even send them application requests but don’t expect them to respond, their not afraid of hurting your feelings by rejecting your pleas. In real life, these friends are your best friends, so why would you change it on Facebook?

The line between Facebook friends and real friends wavers, thin in some parts, thick in others. But when it comes time to thin down your list of Facebook friends, distinguishing the real friends from the internet friends will be a simple task!