It is a melancholy object to those fellow Americans who walk the streets through this glorious nation, only to see the nation to be infested with illegal aliens roaming the streets in rags and importuning every passenger for work. These Mexican men, instead of becoming educated in their own country, steal jobs from Americans only to bring in the rest of their impoverished familia to our lands.

Like an unlatched gate swinging in the roaring winds, America’s southern border has been left ajar, exposing the entire nation’s backyard to be breached with violence, disease, and social turmoil. Everyday, hundreds of illegal immigrants hop our borders and their brimming mobs infect America like a persistent STD, endangering the livelihood of America’s native citizens. Their despicable gang culture imports millions of dollars worth of cocaine and heroin into our innocent nation, while kidnapping and recruiting our youth to do their  biddings, some even sold as sex slaves.

While this persists, millions of tax paying U.S citizens are left in the most adverse depths of poverty and unemployment, while millions of Mexicans arrive at our border annually to steal the jobs of our fellow Americans, hauling disease and crime into our motherland.

I think it is agreed by all citizens that this prodigious number of illegal pests in our neighborhoods, cities, and country, is in the present a deplorable state of our glorious country; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making these Mexicans sound, useful units of the nation, would deserve so well of the public as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.

It is for this simple problem, that after careful consideration, I humbly propose that we fully assimilate the country of Mexico as a subservient unit into the United States of America. With Mexico’s naturally inferior military force, our beloved nation could easily take over the Mexican lands just as Mexicans believe they can so easily march into our backyard.

By strictly limiting the and forcefully subjecting the Mexican nation, America can indubitably eliminate our increasing surge of Mexicans stealing American jobs. Upon subjection, designated concentration camps can isolate the Mexican populations from further tainting the sanctity of our citizens and innocent youth. No longer will our children be subjected to fear of contracting Hepatitis, Malaria or Yellow Fever. No longer will our children become victims of the Mexican Mafia and no longer will they be targets of Mexican drug cartels.

To ensure complete subjection of the Mexican nation, it is ideal to target the most populated portions of Mexico, preferably Mexico City and Ecatapec. It is for this reason that I do humbly propose that we nuke each of these major cities to assert our utter dominance. Similar to the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, nuking these densely populated cities would evidently bring Mexico’s population to a more easily manageable size and of course help the world by reducing the increasing world population. 

There is likewise another great advantage to my scheme as the vast untapped resources found in Mexico can greatly increase America’s prosperity and glory. The enslavement of the Mexican people can furthermore serve as a source of military personnel, for if the Mexicans fight our wars, no longer will we have to send off our young innocent children off to dangerous conflicts. Of course some moral issues may oppose our governments Constitution, but for global security, I’m sure America would have no issue eradicating the 13th and 14th Amendments.

I have been assured by by a very knowing Redneck that Mexicans account for about 9% of America’s population taking approximately 11 million U.S jobs. When a Mexican male enters America it takes about 8 years for him to begin bringing  his wife and 12 children across the border, which then continues to increase the Mexican population in America. Rednecks and U.S citizens like Eric Cartman are furious about these numbers and protest that Mexicans have “taken our jobs”.

I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and many, as well as of the highest importance, so without further ado let us continue to discuss the advantages of my ingenious plan.

For first, as I have already mentioned, it would greatly lessen the number of illegal pests on our streets as they will unquestionably be thrown into concentration camps where they can live out their days. This concept would greatly reduce the Mexican influence from tainting the minds of our educated youths and surely will reduce the countless numbers of murder and thefts created by these malicious beings.
Secondly, those Mexicans who have contracted infectious diseases can be euthanized to ensure national and world security. America is all about being the global fighting force of America, and what better way can we display our usefulness but to help eliminate such deadly diseases? Studies have shown that Mexicans are major carriers for diseases such as Tuberculosis, Hepatitis, Typhoid, Malaria, Plague, Cancer, Rabies and a large slur of other infectious diseases. Euthanizing sick Mexicans is similar to euthanizing stray dogs at the pound and it is evidently so that it relieves the Mexican of their pains and sufferings.

Thirdly, conquering Mexico would push our border further down south which allows us to finally relieve ourselves of protecting such an extensive border between the United States and Mexico. Once Mexico is assimilated into the United States, a new border between the United States and the Latino countries of Belize and Guatemala will be constructed. This border of course, will be far less extensive than the U.S - Mexico border and will thus be easier to maintain. If time progresses and America begins receiving Belize and Guatemala immigrants, it will be America’s responsibility to once again usurp dominance over the infidels.

Fourthly, the acquisition of Mexico will provide us with a plethora of able-bodied Mexicans that instead of taking our jobs, can work for free in hard labor for 18 hours a day. With our new untapped reserves of natural gas and gold, America can put millions of Mexicans to work to extract natural resources which in turn can boost our economy, while finding actual use of the Mexican race. The Mexicans who are so motivated to work will have work, and America will prosper. It’s a win-win situation.

Supposing that millions of job openings will become vacant, our native tax paying citizens can thus have a shot in obtaining a job previously owned by an illegal alien. I compute that America’s economic prosperity can then double annually, bringing in funds to create a better America for the American people.

I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal, and all those who disagree are surely illegal c***roaches and know nothing of business. Of course America and other developed countries such as Canada can aid developing countries to become more independent, thus reducing emigration from the country but such means are simply not as effective and viable options.

I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country, by advancing our economy, reducing drug abuse, and halting illegal immigration. Being a native born in America with no Latino descent and a paying job, I have no personal relationship with illegal immigrants and thus by no means benefit from such measures.