Hi.

Yes, I'm just sitting in class. I'm supposed to be doing work to bump my grade up just a little. But that's not on my mind. It's like my mind is going through a whirl pool. My thoughts are all over the place. They have sort of fallen into the rabbit hole into a strange place. Should I go left? Should I go right? Should I go forward? Should I go back? Hmm.... My thoughts where have they gone? Maybe towards the light where the angels sing gospel? Or to the dark corner where the demons play and steal your heart into temptation. I was only crying a few minutes ago. Warmth of her battered arms around me, but my thoughts are no where to be found. Where did they go?

Maybe a titan swallowed them when I was consumed by anger and a river falling down my face? Maybe they crawled under a bed where the monsters live? No... I'm not always sad. I'm just confused. Yes.. I'm confused. I was crying sure, but I thought I would have everything in contact. Guess I'm fighting a border hmm? Like the one my mother said I would have to deal with in the future. Just fight my way huh? To get those thoughts back.

But I don't want the thoughts that chased everything else away. No, that'll make me lose my head next. I already lost my thoughts, if you forgot. But you shouldn't misunderstand. I asked a cheshire cat on the way. Not from Alice's world, no. And She gave some good advice. Almost like a map made of words. It was important to me that I heard what she said. And I remember I said what she said, Just recycled and she needed that too. Like she had lost her thoughts as well as her heart. Maybe she was lost too? But there was much more. I couldn't move on. No I could, as you can see I am still trying to find my thoughts. I have recieved countless maps by countless spirits. And I am following. Maybe you don't understand anymore? You know that feeling... When you get news and everything in your mind stops? And all of a sudden tears come out? No, don't think they are tears of sadness. They can be of anything. Maybe a joyful river flowing nicely? Or maybe an angry wave running down your own beautiful face. And you let the water works finish itself. But then there it is. Your energy burns out like a battery in a flashlight. Your mind was shining with such a bright blinding light and BAM! You're completely lost.

Not that you forgot. no. It's something else.... It's like you're in a different world. Like you don't understand. It feels like you're stuck in algebra 2 and you don't understand the problem.. But you do know how to solve it using the steps that were given to you. Mmmm... Now that you think about it.... Why did I write this?... LIke I don't know why... but there's a strange feeling. Maybe it's because I might be just as lost as you at some angle. Maybe it's because if you're lost and you can't seem to find your thoughts either.. I'll be able to hand you the maps that the souls have given me so that you can find your way back home to your sweet life and mind. How I see it now is that I'm waiting for my piece of heaven while you get your way out first. Why shouldn't I be first to get sweet relief? Eh.... I think I need a little more time here to figure out the answer to what's going on and how I'm going to find my thoughts again. Sort of like a ghost hmm? I guess it's just how the label of lost people work? 

I dont know...

Call It Whatever