Maybe it was anticipation that was killing me, the long 10 month wait. Imagine finding out your pregnant and that you’re carrying a life inside of you. The moment is filled with happiness and joy, regardless of how young I was I knew I could conquer all. I knew I would do it for me and my little one inside of me. As I sat down to think “how will I tell my parents” the fear kicked in “I’m just 16 there not going to be happy with me.” I figured I’d tell my mom first, I was only about 5 weeks pregnant so it wouldn’t hurt to let her know. To my surprise she wasn’t as upset as I anticipated but a week later everything went downhill, I sat down on the toilet to use the bathroom and when I got up all there was, was blood. I called my doctor just to hear “well you’re not too far along so there’s not much we can do” as the tears rolled down my face I already knew what was happening and for once in my life I had no control over it. It killed me inside, “why me?” did I do something wrong? My heart sunk to my stomach. I was more ready to just be done with life, who wouldn’t? Will I ever be able to have children? Will I live in doubt for the rest of my life? I wonder what the baby would have looked like, if it was a girl or a boy.

A month later I missed my menstrual cycle, all of my hope restored! Maybe it wasn’t a miscarriage after all. My mom urged me to take pregnancy test not knowing whether or not I really wanted to I took the chance, within minutes the test came back positive! Of course I was ecstatic but I still had that fear and the doubts, the ifs and so on. I immediately called my doctor, I wouldn’t be seen until 4 weeks later so what was I supposed to do if something happened? Just wait around again for answers and just doubt every day that something good will come out of it? Without further explanation I waited it out, excited but scared I did it. When I got there the nurses were just as mind boggled as me so they gave me an ultrasound right away! Growing awesome and a very healthy heart beat was my little baby, I still remember the first heartbeat it was 199! That was one strong baby. I remember staying up all night googling if that was a healthy heartbeat and if it meant anything! Everything seemed great I could not wait to meet the little one, I knew it wouldn’t be long before then.

I still had a problem though my dad still had no idea what was going on and I knew I couldn’t keep it a secret for long. So I bet your wondering how I dropped the secret to him. I asked my little brother if he wanted to play a game of hang man. Me him and my dad, my dad and brother both agreed that they would play it with me so I started off the game. Little did they know that this wasn’t going to be an ordinary game of hang man I was about to drop the bomb on them! I was over filled with emotion, I knew my dad wouldn’t believe me and my little brother was still a little too young to put the pieces of the puzzle together, but I knew if I hadn’t did it this way there would have been no other way around it. So it was my turn and right on that piece of paper my little brother made out the sentence “sister is having a baby” it read. He giggled and thought it was all funny, my dad thought I was joking too, when it finally hit him and I told him it wasn’t really a joke he was angry. My dad called my mom right away ( we both went along with it as though she hadn’t known about it yet) “there’s no way your keeping that baby” said my dad, my mom argued back with him and said “that baby has a heartbeat and she wants to keep it”. I knew the day would come when he would accept it but for the time being I’d let him relax and cool down because any parent whose DAUGHTER is 16 and pregnant would be upset. Not even an hour passed by and my dad was asking “do you want me to order you something to eat? I know you have to be hungry” of course I wanted food but I was still scared of how he would react to everything once it was all said and done. We talked a little and my dad assured me that I’d in fact be a great mom beings I’m such a great sister to my little brother , he just knew  I still had my whole life ahead me.  But I knew that once I had my baby in my arms there’d be a whole new meaning to this thing called “life”, my life wouldn’t be my life any more my life would be someone else’s. It felt great that my mom and dad both knew now I wouldn’t have to keep it a secret anymore.

I went to doctors’ appointments every 4 weeks up until I was 28 weeks pregnant, than the appointments reduced to every 2 weeks. I knew that I would have my little boy in no time. I was 20 weeks pregnant when I went to get my ultrasound to make sure my not so little baby was growing normal and that he’d be healthy. Of course he was! Thank god he was already 2 pounds, such a huge boy already and I was only 20 weeks pregnant I still had a rough 20 weeks to go, so how big would he be when I finally gave birth? The doctors estimated around 9 pounds. My first baby 9 pounds, I was always said “the bigger the better” but I could not wrap my head around 9 pounds coming out of me! I continued my doctors’ visits, he was healthy at everyone with nice strong heart beats every time. It was when I was 32 weeks pregnant the end of November when I went for my second ultrasound and my little man was already faced down as low as he could be, he was ready to come out and almost 5 pounds already. I went back to my doctor’s for the next 6 weeks every Thursday of the week to check up on him. Two weeks before my due date they set me up for an inducement date just in case I didn’t have him on my due date. I knew I’d start school February 2 so it was a must to have him in time before school started. I wound up getting induced January 27th 2015, around 3:00 I was in active labor dilated 3 centimeters, so they moved me over to labor and delivery. The day fell to night and night fell to morning and my little man still wasn’t here. I got the epidural when I was 5 centimeters because the pain was seriously unbearable, even though my midwife urged me not to get it. Eight o’clock a.m. rolled around on January 28th 2015 and I was almost ready to go, I dilated 5 centimeters in just 30 minutes which was very surprising to the doctors.  I was told I had to wait to push for safety reasons, but after the long day and night I had and the baby’s heart rate dropping I just wanted him out, I wanted to know that he was okay and that he would be healthy. Being the strong person I was and ignoring the pains that were coming from every aspect of my body I waited out the push! 9:15 finally came around and in came the nurses, “she has to push right away” they screamed “the baby’s head is right there”. I was pushing whether they were ready or not by 9:28 he was here, 10 pushes and he was out. The doctors were not expecting it my boyfriend yelled “he’s out catch him” and suddenly a huge relief of pain. Zayden Keith Bruce is what we named him he was 9 lbs. 7 oz.’s. And 21 inches long. Yes a huge baby inside of me, I don’t know how I managed but I did, and I’m so proud of myself. My little boy gave my life a whole new meaning and I wouldn’t trade him in for the world.