What’s in a name? We’re surrounded by names of people, places, objects, things we can’t see, things we can’t touch, or reach, like the outer space. Humans give each other identities by names that become part of who we are. In my culture, we believe that our names influence our character. That’s why it’s important to choose names that have a strong and positive meaning.

I’ve heard that my parents were going to name me Mariam, but my great uncle said “I don’t care what you guys call her. I’m going to call her Sana.” So, that’s how I got my name, Sana Mashadi. In Urdu, it means “resplendence,” “great heights,” or, “brilliance. Just like my grandmother once said to my mom about me with pride in her voice, “she’s the one and only, so she will reach great heights by achieving brilliant things in life.” I sometimes wish my name would mean something less extreme, like, “good.” It’s less challenging to be good than to be brilliant.

I wouldn’t call myself resplendent because I would be giving myself too much credit. If I could change my name, I would call myself Haleema, which used to be my grandmother’s name. With her quiet courage and understanding mind, she was resplendent in her own way. I wish that is something I inherited from her.

My name is important to me because I feel like I share it with my family. It doesn’t only belong to me, but it also belongs to my great uncle who named me. It belonged to my grandmother because of the soft way she pronounced it, like a gentle ocean wave subsiding as it reaches the shore. It belongs to my brothers because I’m their only sister. It belongs to my parents because I’m their only daughter. My name holds pieces of these people.

I hate that so far I haven’t done things that would describe me as “on her way to reaching great heights.” It’s like a slippery slope I have to climb. In order to reach the top, I’ll have to overcome many obstacles in life and accomplish brilliant things. Only then, I’ll be wholeheartedly proud of being called Sana.