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Me
Who am I? This is a question many people have thought countless times throughout the ages. It is a question of self discovery, worldly purpose and acceptance. But who do I believe I am? I have never left my side, I know every secret I keep hidden from the world, I know my intentions and every thought to ever cross my mind but I cannot say I know who I am. I recently discovered you can never not act like “yourself”, as long as you are controlling you, you are acting like yourself, everything you do all sums up to create you. I am not some shy duplicate of my twin sister, but rather an original listener. I love listening, figuring people out, getting to the meaning behind what they are saying which usually prevents me from speaking, in fear I will lose focus. I am cheap; spending money on something I don’t absolutely need sends a wave of unbearable anxiety through me. I often confuse myself. I love proving myself and other people wrong. My optimism makes me a pessimist. But simply put I am me.
My parents would describe me differently than I would. They would describe me as an irritable, over dramatic, caring teenager. My parents know me well, they know my likes and dislikes, what’s important to me and have known me my entire life but I do not think they understand me. I may look like my mom but I am more like my dad. I would live out in the middle of the woods forever with my dad but shopping with my mom? Count me out.
My friends, they would describe me the best because I share everything with them and act like all of my selves around them. I know, I should be that way around my parents but they don’t want to hear my questions on life or the fears I have of growing up, those are something I’d rather talk to my friends about. My friends, for some reason, do describe me as shy, I’m not exactly sure why because out of my group of friends I am one of the most out going, I’m just horrible at small talk. They would describe me as passive aggressive, I rarely discuss problems with my friends, I let them sizzle out themselves, as do they. Many of my close friends say I am a genuine person and they are proud of me for not letting people and society change me. That always shocks me, I can feel the pull to jump into a stereotype, just another cookie cutter teen, and it often seems as if I’m falling.
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