she walked..believing.
her hand held his,really tight..she closed her eyes and let the piercing wind take the bangs of her face.
She didnt know where she was going,where life was taking her..where she would be.So she just shut her eyes..and let the tears come down,she didnt realize her audacity..but she belived in herself and in him.
It was a normal thing..banging the door and stomping out of the house with her hair open..fuming with frustration..she always knew where she was going to go to cool herself off..to meet him,at the coffe shop..or for a swim..just a glance of him..would help her forget about everything else and smile.
But this time,he was there,holding her hand..and still that warm..bubbling feeling was'nt taking over,she was still cold..shaking with fear..she had no idea where she was going.Her frail,sixteen yr old body could'nt take the pressure.
I closed my dairy..
recalling the memories of that day,made me feel a gratitude for myself and a firm disbelief in companionship.
On the other hand i see my face on the front cover of business week..how i managed to study bit by bit..my parents did'nt want me..i worked the evening shift at taco bell. did homework in the night. and went to high school in the day.Everyday was a battle,every moment i was at war.Everything that i am today is because of how many people have made me loose faith in them...and thus..helplessly gain faith in myself.
Life was all roses,sunny beaches..gift wrapping paper,romantic letters..drive-in-movies and all the fabulous things a sixteen yr old could have.
beautiful,pure,and naive.
It was he who made it so perfect for me.Ross..he seemed to have everything any girl would want.I almost had a fairytale life,he was the varsity team captain and i was the head cheerleader..like two pieces of a puzzle..we just fit in..we had a passion for music and lived to dance.The evening walks were fuzzy and nostalgic..he would cheer me up when i was down,feed me if i was hungry..i believed everything was perfect.
just that morning
i woke up..to realize ..i had another life in me.
I felt a huge shatter everything broke down.
he helt my hand and walked..telling me that he could'nt tel his parents this because his aims in life were far beyond being a teen parent.He said it,ruthlessly.the words fell out of his mouth like paint and hit me like acid.I was too hurt to speak.He smiled,gave me a hug and walked off.
I was alone,cold..and incomplete ..the only person who was supposed to be with me,had walked off stone heartedly.
I shall never forget that one moment in my life
when i wished to just evaporate.
But it didnt happen.
I worked two shifts.fed two mouths.
fought every battle myself
today i live in a duplex penthouse at manhattan,this was my parents dream,the same parents who had the heart to throw a child out of their house.The real principle in life is to love and to love uncondionally.
"society is a victim to obligation..but you are a victim to only your beliefs"
-says zem sparks
an epoch making entrepreneur
I could see my baby reading those words,and ,i felt that same warm glow inside me that i hadnt felt for a decade.I teach her to belive in herself,to dare to dream,to aim for the stars...and to learn to excel.
there i hear it..her laughing,
the sweetest sound of my life