Purity. As pure as a light yellow flower that bloomed through the dew of a brisk spring morning. The clear sky warms my bare feet as the sun peeks through the window. I squint my eyes to look at the vibrant sunrise, feeling the light warm my soul. I feel the most connected to my name in these light moments of serenity.

My great grandma’s name was Lillian. She was supposedly a very bright and outgoing person. My dad always tells me that I would have loved her. “Think about what you are saying,” she would explain to my dad. “Does it make sense? Is it nice? Is it necessary?” Lillian wanted my dad to be the best version of himself.

I guess that is what they wanted for me, too. To be like her. To be the best version of myself. To have someone to look up to. They almost named me after her. I have her nickname. It's a scary thought to have such high expectations based on a name. To be as respected and powerful of a human. I must try to live up to my name just like Lillian.

The name “Lily” is a pretty common one. Most Lily’s are already a nickname from Lillian, but mine is just Lily. It is also spelled in the simplest way of them all. Containing the fewest possible letters in the most reasonable order. My mom wanted to name me Amy, and my dad wanted to name me Raya Sunshine, but I guess they settled for Lily.

Sometimes, my close friends will call me Lil or Lillers. I love nicknames. I call my friend Michaela, Mick. I call my friend Kendall, Ken. I call my friend Allison, Alli. Nicknames, to me, are like a passageway to maintaining a close relationship. Mom calls me Beeps. Dad calls me Lil. Coaches call me Lillith or Lily. Teachers call me Lily. Even though I respond equally to all of them, I can always tell who really knows my name and who doesn’t.

Kindness and innocence coat my name like frosting; suffocating all other possibilities. When people hear the name “Lily,” the last thing they think of is someone to gossip about. People think of a serene pond covered with Lily Pads; not someone like me. Not an artistic, studious, and athletic blonde.

Even though my name is too pure for me, I wouldn’t change it. My name is a goal for me to achieve. It is something I aspire to be more like. One day, hopefully, I will be as authentic and refined as my name.