9/3/2019

Dear Diary, 

Today was my first day of high school and it went really well. I knew where all of my classes were because my best friend, Stacie, and I walked through our schedules together the week before school started. I was surprised to see Easton in my Advisory. I didn’t know we were gonna have that class together. I’m so nervous that I can barely even look at him. I have my back turned towards him whenever possible. I think tomorrow I’m gonna say hi. I was way too caught off guard to do it today. Anyways, I could really go for a donut right now so I’m gonna go see where my mom is.

-Trinity

9/4/2019

Dear Diary, 

Today me and my friend Gertrude said hi to Easton after advisory. He didn’t seem to expect it. I was messing with him and said I was gonna switch classes because he was in it. The whole time I was shaking and sweating from all the nerves. But, overall today was good. An old friend snapped me. He’s not the same person he used to be. I can’t believe how much people change.

-Trinity

9/5/2019

Dear Diary,

Easton wanted me to come to his football game tonight. He told me that he had a plan. If they won the game he would do the plan, but if they lost then probably not. They won. I was with Gertrude and Stacie when he talked to me after the game. Gertrude wanted to take 7,000 pictures as usual. But I looked so bad. The football coach told me to take off my hat but I showered before the game and my hair was wet underneath. Only one picture turned out good and we were both being goofy in it. I could tell he was avoiding the plan but I honestly didn’t know what the plan was. So I told him, “Alright, you won the game. You know what that means.” He looked so nervous. Then he asked me to homecoming! I had an idea that was gonna be his plan but I wasn’t for sure. I obviously said yes. We both went home. Gertrude wanted to tell my mother so bad but I told her not to because my mother is a prude. I told my mother after we dropped Gertrude off and she was very prudently excited for me.

-Trinity

9/6/2019

Dear Diary, 

Big news. Tonight was the Friday night varsity football game. Of course, everyone was there. I was with Gertrude, Easton, and three other guys. The whole time they kept trying to talk to him alone. I was getting pretty annoyed because everyone was leaving me out. I was literally about to hit Gertrude. I didn’t though. Eventually, I found out what everyone was talking about. Easton asked me to be his girlfriend. It’s honestly not that exciting because it seemed really forced by everyone. I said yes but It doesn’t feel like it’s real because he didn’t ask me on his own time. I texted him and told him about what I think and he agreed. He said it wasn’t very good and he wanted the chance to ask me again. I agreed to that. At this point, we technically weren’t together but we were definitely a thing. Everyone knew it. Gertrude is sleeping over tonight. She’s really hungry. I honestly don’t know what to do because there is genuinely not a crumb of food left in the whole house. She ate a whole watermelon by herself. This is getting excessive.

-Trinity

9/20/2019

Dear Diary, 

Tonight was a Friday night varsity football game. I hung out with Gertrude, Bertha (a new friend of ours), and Easton. Gertrude us trying to get a boyfriend but the guy she likes has better things to do and he even told me so. Gertrude and Bertha eventually ran away to do God knows what in the bathroom. I was with Easton and a few of our mutual friends. We were watching the game and it was kinda cold. I wished he would put his arm around me. Later he told me he didn’t know if I would’ve wanted that. I did but now he knew for next time. The reason I was so cold anyways was because self-conscious Gertrude didn’t like her shirt and made us switch. My outfit was so much better before we switched too. She had my white tennis sweatshirt on. She looked fat in it. Meanwhile, I was wearing nothing underneath her thin, black Nike windbreaker. Gertrude and Bertha are the types of people that go to football games for the sole purpose of people seeing them at the football game. I actually like to sit in the stands and watch instead of walking around and hiding behind the concession stands. Anyways, Gertrude and Bertha disappeared and that’s probably for the better because after the game Easton and I were standing on the concrete together and he asked me out! It was perfect and on his own terms, unlike the first time. I said yes and gave him a big hug. I like him so much and I can’t wait for homecoming next weekend. I’m having a sleepover at my house with Gertrude and Bertha. After the game, we went to Pick N Save with my parents because this time they learned their lesson and knew they needed more food for Gertrude and Big Bertha. The funniest thing happened to me. There was an old man looking at my butt and I wondered why because that’s creepy. His intentions were clean though because I bled through my jeans and had a giant stain on the back of my pants. I just laughed it off and showed my mom. She felt so bad because she is a conservative prude so she took me to McDonald’s. I’m not complaining though. 

-Trinity

9/23/19

Dear Diary,

Today my mom took Gertrude and I to the store because it looks like my homecoming dress isn’t gonna come on time. This is scary because I need a specific dress to hide my skin. I’m really self-conscious about my MRSA scars. Gertrude talked me into getting a dress that was not at all my style. I am gonna feel so awkward in it at homecoming. My mom almost didn’t get it because she is a prude and thought the dress was horribly revealing. But I ended up getting it. It’s red velvet with a scrunched layover giving it dimension. I hate it. 

-Trinity

9/28/19

Dear Diary, 

Today was homecoming day. I got ready on my own time and went to Gertrude's house around four. I had my boutonniere to give to Easton. He came to Gertrude's house and had such a gorgeous corsage. The band was made of pearls and the petals were mainly red with some glitter. I absolutely love it. His bow tie was red to match my dress. He was already dressed when he came into her house. Gertrude and I were still in our lounge wear. I helped Gertrude get ready because she is a mess and not a hot one. I got into my dress and I was extremely self conscious so I kept my shirt on as long as possible. Eventually I had to take it off and put on my heels. I added some perfume. After that it was time to go to the country club for dinner. I ate a pizza before I left so I wasn’t hungry for dinner. We took a ton of pictures and met up with Stacie, Bertha, and some other friends. Bertha bought herself a corsage because no one would buy one for her. Gertrude didn’t even have a corsage. As we were leaving the country club, Easton came and stood really close to me. Our arms touched as he was cold and trying to warm up. I wasn’t too cold at the moment, but when we got to the school I was absolutely freezing. I stayed close to him until I warmed up which was probably 45 minutes. We had a ton of fun. I danced with him, with friends, and also just talked to a bunch of people. After we left the dance, we went bowling with Gertrude, Bertha, and some other friends. Bertha's mom drove us. We were there until 1am. I had so much fun but I was also extremely tired and I honestly don’t really like bowling. It also felt like 1,000 degrees in there. Easton took some of my turns when I was too tired or didn’t want to. We ordered a pizza which I didn't eat because I didn’t have any gum left. He held my hand when we both weren’t bowling. I liked that a lot. When it was time to go, we all were gathered outside waiting for Bertha’s mom. While we waited, I sat next to Easton on the hood of a golf cart. He put his arm around me and everything was perfect. I sat next to him in the car too and we were all singing to the radio. Bertha’s mom took Easton home first. Then we went to Gertrude's house to get my phone. Bertha’s mom took me home at 2am. I talked to my parents about the night. I really did have such a good time. 

-Trinity

10/12/2019

Dear Diary, 

Today was so exciting! My dad picked up Gertrude, Bertha, and Easton around 3pm. We all went to the pettit center to go ice skating for a few hours. The whole time Gertrude couldn’t stop going on about really unimportant stuff. She hasn’t been able to shut up about going on a haunted hike in weeks. I don’t care about that and that’s not something I want to do but she is just so persistent that I finally gave in. So my dad was forced by Gertrude to buy me and Easton $60 tickets to a horrible night. While on the hike at 10pm, Gerturde was running and she grabbed me and fell, causing me to go down with her. I landed hard on a giant sharp rock. I hit my knee and it started bleeding immediately and profusely. It was also totally freezing the whole time. I honestly don’t know how Gertrude had so much fun. The only reason I went was to have more time with Easton.

-Trinity

10/17/2019

Dear Diary, 

Tonight was a Thursday night varsity football game against Oak Creek at Oak Creek High School. I was sitting next to Easton. Gertrude and Bertha were sitting alone somewhere squealing at boys. He had his arm around me because it was really cold. We were sitting on the very back riser. The people in front of us turned around to talk to us. They wanted us to kiss. I’m not letting him have his first kiss in front of 20 people and I know he doesn’t want that either. It needs to be more special than that. At the end of the game Getrude and Bertha were trying to get us to kiss. Both Easton and I didn’t like that. He started to get really fed up with Gertrude. My parents took everyone home. 

-Trinity

10/18/2019

Dear Diary, 

Tonight was a Friday night freshman football game at Oak Creek highschool. I went and met up with our mutual friend Don’s girlfriend, Dolores, and her best friend to watch Easton play. They lost the game but he played really well so he was happy. His uniform looked nice on him. He came towards me with his helmet in his hand and gave me an awkward side hug. He’s always concerned I’m gonna think he smells bad after games but I seriously don’t care at all. We all talked for a few minutes and then he had to get on the bus. My mom took me home. I felt good because I had a nice outfit on. Light grey short sleeve bodysuit with grey jeans, a brown corduroy sherpa jacket, and black vans. Easton said he liked my outfit. I was freezing the whole game and still was when I came home so I put on a big, green, fluffy onesie and texted Easton all night. 

-Trinity

10/26/19

Dear Diary, 

Today my mom picked up Easton and took us to meet Don and Dolores at the bowling alley. I still hate bowling. Easton picked up on my discomfort and took a few of my turns. It was fun but only because he was there. After that we all went back to my house. First we painted. There was cardboard and paper but I think cardboard is better. Next we went to the couches to watch movies. We watched three scary movies (Don and Dolores chose them). I laid my head on Easton’s chest and felt uncomfortable. It takes me a long time to get used to someone. Especially when it’s more than a friend. With his arm around me, he ran his fingers along my shoulder which helped me a lot. My parents made pizzas for dinner. Afterwards, I gave everyone winter fresh gum. Don and Dolores left at 9pm. Eatson stayed until 9:30. I was getting more comfortable with him as the night went on. When it was time to leave we went out to the garage. We were standing in the dark garage with the door opened. It was pouring rain outside. He gave me a long hug and then asked me if I wanted to kiss him. DUH OBVIOUSLY. He pulled me closer and I put my hands around his neck, gently touching the back of his head. We both leaned in slowly and shared a gentle kiss. We both pulled back our heads still embracing each other. He held me softly and told me he loved me for the first time. I was so excited I was speechless. I told him I loved him too. Even though it didn’t last long, it was the most perfect kiss I had ever experienced. There was so much meaning behind it. His dad picked him up and I walked back inside smiling. I’m surprised how perfect it was considering that was Easton’s first kiss.

-Trinity

11/1/19 

Dear Diary,

Tonight was another varsity home game. This time onesie themed. I wore my neon green onesie and Easton wore a matching neon pink one. Gertrude wore a leopard onesie and Bertha wore a deer onesie? A hippo? I’m really not sure. My dad drove Gertrude and Bertha and I met Easton there. It was freezing cold. Gertrude and Bertha couldn’t handle it so they did me the favor of leaving early. Now I don’t have to go to the sleepover. Most of our mutual friends got cold and went to the bathroom to get heat. It was just me and Easton sitting alone on top bleachers. His arm was around me and we didn’t care that it was cold cause we were together. We went in the field after the game and he asked if I wanted another kiss right there but I told him that it should be more private. He agreed and said he'd see me tomorrow. It was such a good night. 

-Trinity

11/2/19

Dear Diary, 

Today was the first day Eatson and I hung out alone at my house. We just watched movies all day and ate pasta with my mother and dad. I was honestly really nervous. I didn’t move for 7 hours straight. My whole body ached afterwards. As he was leaving, we shared our second kiss. This time it was not so perfect. He kind of missed and we both blushed. I was way too nervous to do anything. He left beat red. He texted me later and said he really wanted to ask if he could redo it but was too scared. I told him it was okay and he should’ve asked but now we know for next time. It was still a great day. 

-Trinity

11/15/19

Dear Diary,

Today I went to the mall with Gertude, Bertha, Easton, Brandon and Corey. Most of the time we were split into different groups. I sat on the couches in Macy’s with Easton. We took goofy pictures and then Gertrude came over, holding her nose up with her finger. How fitting, she looked like a pig. On the way home I sat in the middle between Gertude and Easton. I ignored her the whole time and she seemed jealous. Sucks to suck. 

-Trinity

11/27/19

Dear Diary, 

Today was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break. My mom picked up Easton and I from school. We hung out for a while in the basement before my prudent mother came down and tried to take us to church for Thanksgiving. Out of all the activities in the universe, why does my mother;s favorite one have to be going to church? I obviously said no but she had already asked Gertudes mother if she could come with us to church. It was too late. Before I knew it, I was in the sanctuary sitting between Easton and Gertrude. Worst day ever. After church, Gerturde took 700 pictures of us for no reason. It was annoying. 

-Trinity

12/24/19

Dear Diary, 

Today was Christmas Eve. Gertrude slept over last night so that when we woke up, we could go to church together again. She stays up ungodly late so I have no clue when she went to bed but she woke up 30 minutes before we had to leave. I started getting ready 3 hours before we had to leave and I was very well rested. It was around 10 when Easton arrived. He was wearing shorts but I was wearing a skirt so it’s okay. I put on the necklace he gave me a week ago for christmas. It was a silver T with rhinestones. It’s not something I would’ve ever picked out for myself but he told me he got it because he liked it which I thought was sweet. It’s honestly a cute necklace and I’m glad it’s silver because fake gold looks cheap. Since my whole family had to fit in the car, Easton and I sat together in the far back. He slid his hand up my thigh, slightly lifting my skirt. I had hickies all over my neck from a few days ago. Luckily the volume of my curled hair hid them well. There are a few pictures where my hair fell so perfectly that they’re just peeking through a tiny bit, but still covered. I didn’t bother hiding them with makeup. When we went into church I took off my jacket and set it on my lap. Easton decided that it would be a good idea to put his hand on my thigh. Now don’t get me wrong because that’s a great idea. There is no but. After church we took Easton home and went out to lunch with Gertrude at Culvers. I hate Culvers because my mental patient of a sister loves it. I got a garden salad. I was scared that I was gonna throw up because two years ago on December 26th I had the stomach flu and I get sick every 2-3 years. I didn’t though. We took Gertrude home after we ate and then I went to Easton’s house for a Christmas Eve party. Most of the time we just sat on the recliners and talked to family. At one point, we played some fun christmas games his dad organized. Me and Eatson were on opposite teams but I had some of his brothers.They were similar to minute to win it. I ate probably over 10 cookies but that’s just typical for any day. My mom came to get me at around 9 and talked to Easton’s mom for a while. It was around 10 when we got back home and most people were just leaving the party that was at our house. My aunt and uncle stayed until around midnight to help clean up and just hang out with us. It was a very fun day. 

-Trinity

12/31/19

Dear Diary, 

Tonight was New Years Eve. Gertrude invited me to come to the country club with her, Bertha, and Florence. I got all dressed up and went. Her parents let us drink glasses of champagne. We took a few group pictures. Gertrude really started getting on my nerves. She knows that I’m not ugly so she tries to make it look like I am in the pictures. She made me back up so the flash wouldn’t hit my eyes and they would look brown instead of blue. That was really rude of her. Later we were talking to these random guys that Gertrude found on the internet. She got pissed because they said I was the prettiest, then Florence, then her, then Bertha. They also all said they wanted to give me a new years kiss but no one else. She was absolutely raging. Like oh. Sorry but this is the way I look. Later in the night Easton gave his pug a new years kiss instead of me. And you better believe Gerturde’s shih tzu was not getting a new years kiss from me. Overall, I had a good night because I felt confident with my outfit. 

-Trinity

1/16/20

Dear Diary, 

It’s almost exam week. I went home from school with Gertrude today and She was being really mean to me. She said my blonde hair looked orange. It doesn’t, it really doesn’t. Does it? I was about to cry when she told me that. As long as I can remember I’ve wanted blonde hair. She told me I needed to dye it. Honestly i don’t know what to feel anymore. I think she lost all of the respect I had left for her today. 

-Trinity

1/26/20

Dear Diary, 

I’ve been putting off dyeing my hair for what feels like weeks but was really only one week. I love my blonde hair and it took so much time and money to get it to this point. I shouldn’t have to go dark just because she doesn’t like it. But she makes me feel so ugly like this. It only looks orange with certain filters and that’s not even real life. Bertha and Gertrude slept over last night. I gave into Gertrude. I dyed my hair. It’s red now. Or brown, I can’t really tell. It looks nice but it’s not like wow. I don’t look down and smile when I see my hair dangling. The only reason I think I like it is because it looks different than it did before. It makes me ugly. She lied to me.

-Trinity

2/1/20

Dear Diary,

Today Easton came over. We went with my parents to a tax appointment and waited in the car. It was a really long time so we laid down in the back seat. He was playing clash of clans most of the time but I didn’t mind. When my parents got back, they took us to breakfast. We went to the forum. I got bacon, toast, chicken, and fries. We went home and hung out for a while. My grandma came over and she was keeping my dad company while my prude of a mom ran off to do God knows what errands. We watched a few movies and then my dad asked if we wanted to go to chick fil a. Obviously I do. We decided to go through the drive through and bring it back home. It was dark by this time. Easton was trying to open his ketchup packet. He said “It’s not openin-,” and it splattered everywhere. It was in my eyes, my hair, my white sweatshirt, the window, his seat belt, and all over his face and outfit. At first I didn’t say anything because I was so shocked. He thought I was mad. But then I started laughing because I couldn’t believe he did that all over my dad’s new car. He still thought I was mad but I wasn’t. Neither was my dad. He was just making jokes about it. We got back home and both got changed. We spent the rest of the night laughing about the incident. 

-Trinity

2/2/20

Dear Diary, 

Today I went to Easton’s house for a super bowl party. There were snacks and most of the time it was boring because we weren’t actually watching the super bowl. At one point. Corey brought Brandon over and they started messing around with Easton’s little neighbors. Easton, the two girls, and I were on eastons bed and Brandon and Corey were throwing snowballs through the window. It was so fun but his bed got soaked. The two little girls were hiding under his pillow but he was protecting me and taking all the hits. It was such a cute game. Brandon went home and Corey came into Easton’s room. Corey started to play fighting with the little girls and then we played duck duck goose. I had such a fun time today.

-Trinity

2/4/20

Dear Diary, 

The swim unit is coming up next week and Gerturde forced me to go get a gel mani pedi because she said that my nails weren’t good enough when painted at home. It was so stupid and I told her I didn’t want to but we dragged me along anyways. Bertha and Florence were there too. I don’t know why it was so important that I had to come too. This was my first time getting a pedicure and also my last. And for a good reason too. I am extremely ticklish. I was laughing and flailing the whole entire time. It tickled so bad that it became painful. It was the worst experience of my life and she told me I was overreacting and I would be going with her again every time. Um no I won’t be. She also made me get my nails done in gel which I didn’t want to do because I’m trying to give them a break. I would say this was a bad day. 

-Trinity

2/29/20

Dear Diary, 

Easton and I hung out today. We were in the basement and watched some movies. It was a really good morning. He set a good mood for my whole day. Gertude asked me to go to kopps with her and Bertha today. I said yes because the flavor of the day was blue moon, I love blue moon ice cream and I was already in a good mood so I thought she wouldn’t be able to bring me down. I was wrong. Since it was so cold outside, we decided to go eat our ice cream in the bathroom. Her and Big Bertha started spitting their ice cream on the floor, the toilet seat and sink. I have no idea why and it was so disrespectful. After she was done destroying the bathroom we left and she acted like it was nothing. Great day but horrible ending. 

-Trinity

3/20/20

Dear Diary,

Today is my birthday and I’m honestly not that excited. I don’t want anything. I was also not excited about it last night. Easton called me and we were gonna talk but I was too upset about my birthday. All the restaurants are getting closed so we can’t do anything special anyways. Easton wasn’t even going to come over today because he didn’t know if he wanted to with all his homework. He ended up coming over anyways and it was good for the most part. My mom took him to work and that was it. Not such a great birthday.

-Trinity

4/18/20

Dear Diary,

Today I went to Eastons and we hung out for a bit. When I got home, Gertrude wanted to come over. I let her and it was a mistake. She literally has ADHD or something because suddenly she is constantly bored 24/7 and wants to go run around and do something. I am not her entertainer. She needs to go to the gym and get her energy out. She wanted to ride bikes. SInce I live in a rural area there’s nowhere to ride bikes except right in the subdivision. My bike is absolutely horrible and you have to do so much work just for it to go slow. And changing the gears do not help at all. I need a new one but I have no desire because I don’t bike often and I’m gonna be driving next summer so it would be a waste of money. We were riding our bikes around the circle and she said we should try to go as fast as we can. I said her bike was gonna go faster so it didn’t matter but she instated. So there I go peddling super fast. I was standing up and putting a lot of weight on each of the petals. Before I even knew I had fallen. My body was scraping against the road. All Gertude did was laugh. I was in so much pain that I almost threw up. I was about to cry too. To make things even worse my parents happened to see and they came running out of the house. That’s the absolute last thing I wanted. When I’m hurt want to be alone, not surrounding by people that make me want to pull out my hair. The reason I fell in the first place was because my bike is so horrible that the pedal physically fell off of the bike. So when I tried to pedal, I went over because my foot had nothing to hit. I was bleeding in so many places and I limped inside, absolutely pissed because it’s all Gertrudes fault. Today was a horrible day.

-Trinity

4/20/20

Dear Diary,

He broke up with me. 

-Trinity

6/1/20

Dear Diary,

We got back together. I don’t want this. 

-Trinity

6/23/20

Dear Diary,

I think I want this. Yeah, I want this. I definitely want this.

-Trinity

6/27/20

Dear Diary,

Last night I slept over at Gertrude’s house with Big Bertha. There’s no way in hell the three of us fit in Gertrudes bed. Two barely fit. All I want to do is go to sleep early and comfortably. Instead I am forced to stay up until 4am. I am harassed all night and I can't take it much longer. I woke up so frustrated and with such little space, that I kept banging my head on the pillow as hard I could. But since Gertrude has no boundaries her arm was underneath my head. My skull got bashed into her bones and I had a raging migraine for the rest of the day. Gertrude and Bertha went into the basement to keep sleeping so I took a shower. Then I went home right as they woke up because I wasn’t trying to be there any longer than I already was. Horrible day. 

-Trinity

6/30/20

Dear Diary,

Gertude spent the night last night. She was supposed to be gone before 12 but instead she stayed up until all hours of the night and didn’t even wake up until 2pm. I am absolutely ripping my hair out. There goes all of my Sunday. I had plans but she ruined everything. And then on top of that all day she was trying to get me to create a custom iPhone 11 pro max case full of pictures of her. I literally have an iPhone 8. Who does she think I am? She also never showers or brushes her teeth so now I Have to wash my whole bed set. I’m nearly ready to get rid of her. She thinks we’re such close friends, absolutely not; she doesn’t even know any of my secrets and she doesn’t support me. Today was ruined and I hate it. 

-Trinity

7/3/20

Dear Diary, 

I’m trying to get more in touch with myself on my own time. I got my undercut redone today and I also dyed my hair black. I haven’t told Gertrude or Bertha. I’m not going to tell them until I’m absolutely forced two. I hate Gertrude so deeply and I don't want her to touch my hair and pretend it’s so great and so much better than blonde. 

-Trinity

7/16/20

Dear Diary, 

Today Corey invited Gertude, Brandon, another friend, and I to spend the day at his grandparents lake house. It was a really fun time. I think I have a small crush on Brandon. This is bad. I can’t be feeling like this. Brandon is best friends with my boyfriend’s best friend. This isn’t okay but I don’t know how to stop these feelings. I kinda forget about it as we are having fun swimming, jet skiing, boating, paddle boarding, and way more. When we all spent time in the hot tub I wanted to be closer to Brandon. You don’t have to tell me, I know it’s bad and not okay. I need to shut down all feelings I have for him immediately before he notices and it becomes mutual. When I got home, I was telling Easton about my day when suddenly he got really jealous and sad. Now i’m mad. Mad at Gertrude. She’s such a toxic person. If she didn’t hate Easton because she’s so jealous of him then he would’ve been able to come today and wouldn’t be so sad. I don’t know what to do anymore. I told Easton that for next lake day I’m staying back with him and we will spend the full day together. That seemed to help him a little bit. I feel so bad and hope he’s better tomorrow. Gertrude doesn’t even know we’re back together. No one knows. She would be absolutely pissed if she found out and she has zero right to be. She thinks I’m always gonna choose her. Well guess what, she thought the one thing in her way was gone but her actions speak louder. She’s losing me anyways. Also this morning I was feeling so sick because of my period and almost had to cancel on the lake day. I told Easton this and he was telling me I should stay home. He said he would come over and cuddle with me to help me feel better. I wish we would’ve told me he was feeling left out at the time because I would’ve made sure that he was there. It would’ve been a million times better if we just traded Gertrude for Eastion. That way, I probably never would’ve even started thinking about Brandon like this.

-Trinity

7/22/20

Dear Diary,

Today Gertude, Bradnon, Corey, another friend, and I all went to Bertha’s house. We got snacks and drinks and we were just hanging out all night. It was really fun. I sat next to Brandon and we were getting a little close. I knew it was wrong but I wasn’t going to stop myself. As they left I gave Brandon a goodbye hug. He was shaking from nerves but I still enjoyed it. I read something online that said if you’re in love you won’t be interested in anyone else. I still really care about Easton but maybe I’m not in love with him. I think I’m in love with him but is it possible to be in love with Easton and have feelings for Brandon?

-Trinity

7/28/20

Dear Diary, 

Today I went to a pool party at Easton’s house. Don and Deolores were there along with Dolores’ best friend. Corey was also there and Brandon stopped by for a little bit. None of these people know we are together. He doesn’t want anyone to know and I agree because we both have such horrible friends that no one would support it and everyone would be mad and jealous. The pool party wasn’t fun for me and I started feeling sick. I went inside his house and layed on the couch until everyone left. My mom took Easton and I to tj maxx and ross. They were closing though so we are going to have to go back again tomorrow. I would say today was a good day. 

-Trinity

8/10/20

Dear Diary,

Gertude begged me to come to Bertha’s house today. I gave in. Florence was there and they invited “hot” guys over. I’m not interested at all. They’re gross. I only like one boy, my boyfriend. And I’m not even just saying that because we’re together. I just barely like guys. I don’t like Brandon anymore either. I regret going to Bertha’s. I hate Bertha so much. I’m done being her friend now. I blocked her. Gertrude is so fake. All of this is getting way too old.

-Trinity

8/13/20

Dear Diary, 

I am done with everyone. I blocked Gertrude, Florence, Brandon, and Corey. Bertha is still blocked. I will never unblock her and I will never see her again. I’m going to unblock them in a few days (not Bertha) and make up an excuse, but right now I just needed a huge break. I’m too close to cutting Gertrude off forever. 

-Trinity

8/23/20

Dear Diary,

Today was Easton’s birthday. Since it’s also my prudent mother’s birthday, I went to Easton’s house. I gave him some very nice gifts. I gave him cologne, lotion, pajama pants, two cards, and an orange beanie baby. His favorite color is orange and our thing is calling each other bear. He loved the gift and I’m glad he did beascue I thought it was really cute. He gave me a hug and a kiss and then Corey came over. We all hung out and went in the pool while we waited for his family to arrive. It was a great party. They catered from Chipotle. I don’t really like that type of food but I still had two spicy chicken tacos. Then we played some games outside. There was badminton and some other yard games I had never seen before. After that, we played video games until I had to leave. He whispered “i love you “ as I walked out the door. Today was a very great day. 

-Trinity

9/2/20

Dear Diary, 

Today was the first day of sophomore year. I carpooled to school with Easton. I found all my classes fine. I’m upset that we don’t have advisory but also relieved. Upset because Easton is in it, and relieved because Gertrude is in it. I ate lunch with Easton. I got bad blisters on the back of my ankles because I wore my new Jordans. I went home and went to drivers ed. Today was a good first day and I’m glad there is a little break before next week starts. 

-Trinity

9/13/20

Dear Diary,

Easton came over today. My prudent mother was God knows where, probably on a walk. My dad is on a business trip. Easton and I hung out in my room for a while. I turned my room into a Christmas wonderland so we used a Christmas blanket to cover the window and make a fort. Out of all the forts we’ve ever made together, this was by far the coolest one. This will definitely be very memorable. I love him so much. 

-Trinity

9/17/20

Dear Diary,

Brandon has been asking to hang out. I said I could tonight even though it’s a Thursday. He drove me and Corey to Leon’s Custard. I didn’t get anything because I don’t like eating heavy cream. We hung out for a bit and had a real conversation in the car about Gertrude. Corey even turned off the music. That has never happened before. I told them that I think Gertrude and I have become very different people since march. Corey agreed with that. I don’t want to be mean about it and say I hate her and she’s toxic because she wouldn’t think that’s true. Toxic people don’t know that they’re toxic. It also has taken me such a long time to say anything to Gertrude about it so it will be a shock to her. She says she cares about me so much but it’s not mutual. She drains my happiness. Just a few more days and I’m free. 

-Trinity

9/20/20

Dear Diary,

Today is my half birthday. I want to get my temps but the dmv is closed today. I’m going to have to get them tomorrow. Yesterday Corey got his temps. Gertrude still doesn’t even know I did drivers ed. Tonight I went with Brandon and Corey to get ice cream at Kopps. I didn’t want Gertrude to come but they invited her anyway. That really annoyed me but soon she won’t ever be invited again. We drove around and hung out. Easton texted Corey and told him to make it as awkward as possible because he thought it was funny. I’m not interested in Brandon so I feel really bad leading him on because he’s so nice and doesn’t deserve this. I ended up giving him a goodbye hug and I kissed him. Easton wanted me to kiss him. He was so awkward and shaky. He was standing on an angle for the hug and seemed really off balance. I knew the kiss was gonna be horrible before it even happened. He hasn’t kissed anyone in a long time, I kissed Easton that morning. I always always go left. I physically cannot kiss to the right. I told him he didn’t even have to move and I would just do everything. He didn’t listen. He missed so bad. It was the worst kiss I've ever had and I've had a lot of bad kisses. The worst part is, everyone is so proud of him and he’s so happy. I have a boyfriend. I’m not interested in him.

-Trinity

9/22/20

Dear Diary, 

Today was supposed to be the actual best day of my life. I was going to cut off Gertrude. It didn’t happen. I’m weak. I’m way too nice. I can’t tell someone I want nothing to do with them because of the way they hurt me. I would feel so bad saying that. I felt like if I could make her hate me then it wouldn’t be so hard for her to let go and I could end things. I was wrong. The complete opposite happened. I told her absolutely everything. I told her how she made me feel about my hair, myself in general, my life, and I told her about Easton and I. None of it worked. If anything, she thinks we’re even closer now. This is horrible and I have no idea what’s going to happen with me and Gertrude now. The weight has not been lifted off my shoulders. All I want is to become closer friends with Corey and Brandon. I can sense a great friendship between us. Corey has so many layers to him. Easton has a lot going on with football right now and I’m not sure when we will be able to hang out again. I want him to focus on school, football, and work right now. 

-Trinity

9/25/20

Dear Diary, 

This is bad. I've started to get feelings for Brandon again and it doesn’t help that Easton is practically forcing us together as a joke. Brandon is interested in me and that only makes me more interested in him. I can’t keep going back and forth. Now I don’t even know if I want to stop my feelings for him or not. He’s such a compelling option. I love everything about Easton but sometimes it seems like me and Brandon go way better together. I need to start thinking of Brandon as a guy best friend because I really can’t afford to lose such a great relationship with Easton, over a potential relationship with Brandon.

-Trinity

10/1/20

Dear Diary, 

I am absolutely torn. All of my love goes to Easton, but Brandon is a factor. I can’t deny that I have feelings for Brandon but I don’t want to pursue him. My love for Easton is way stronger than whatever bond I've been forming with Brandon. Even though sometimes it’s tempting to take things further with Brandon, my final decision is to only be friends with him. It's going to be hard sometimes to keep choosing Easton but I know that’s what I want. He means everything to me. I am at peace with this aspect of my life now. Gertude has been backing off lately and I feel much better about that because she doesn’t talk to me every day. This is a very good start. I need to go on another journey of self improvement and that takes a lot of energy from me. I know this diary is personal, but I want my experience to be 100% private. I love to journal but after this point it’s just going to be very basic things such as what I ate that day or what made me happy that day. Eventually I will journal full time again but for now I'm taking a break for the better. I wish my future self much luck. 

Goodbye,

Trinity.