Every day, scrolling through the different social medias, after each click I see the key of my motivation. It’s a simple screenshot on my home screen of a close friend telling me how proud they are of me and my growth. A smile appears on my face and serotonin rushes through my veins. The rush of adrenaline makes me feel unstoppable and gives me so much motivation. I feel unstoppable and it gives me hope for my future. The simple words make me happy and give me a reason to keep fighting even when it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I believe we all need to find a key to our motivation whether it be a sign, a quote, or even a picture you see before leaving for school or work. 

“Control the things you can, ignore the things you can’t”. This quote has helped me significantly in my life. It gives me the constant reminder to focus on myself and not worry about others. I struggle with this because I feel like I can help and do everything when in reality, I can’t. My close friend told me this, he is always there for me and helps me in hard times. He gives me motivation and always gives the right advice. He always knows exactly what to say and how to help me in the long-run of life. Anxiety and depression aren’t just being sad and tapping your leg when you get nervous. It’s an all-day every-day thing, you could be with your friends laughing during the day and just want to shut it off. 

The darkness runs through my room as my blackout curtains block the sunlight. The cool breeze and buzzing of my fan circulates my room. The warmth of my bed and blankets make me want to stay in bed all day. During these dark episodes, it seems like nothing I can do can make me happy. Laying in bed in the darkness brings a sense of comfort through my body. Stuck in a place you didn’t think you'd be back to but with these illnesses, everyone goes through it. Some days might be full of happiness and laughing with friends but the next might be laying in the dark trying to re-energize. As anxiety and depression runs through teens across the country, we still feel alone and helpless during dark times.

 I think we all need to find someone to help us. Whether it be a trusted adult, a parent, a school teacher, or an older brother or sister. My person is my middle school health teacher. Every day for the last 9 weeks of the school year, I’d go into his class having fun and laughing the whole time. Then, I’d go home and shut it off as I did for years. But one day in his class he got serious, very unlike him, he was preparing us for the topics we were about to talk about. The dark clouds and rain bring darkness across the classroom. As my teacher says “Our topic today is very serious for some, we will be talking about depression and suicide”.

I sat next to my best friend at the time in the class. I had to fight back the tears as I felt that he was describing my everyday life for the past 3 years. Later during the day, I asked my best friend, “Do you think it’s time to stop this? Should I go talk to my teacher and talk to him?’. She said, “It’s your decision, I'll support you with whatever you go with”. So, I go to his room during homeroom and tell him everything, I end up crying, so scared about what I said and how my family would react. Looking back 3 years later, I’ve never been more relieved about making a decision. For years I thought I’d stay in that dark place forever, and if I could give anyone advice who is in that dark place now. Talk to someone you trust, talk to someone who will listen, care, and help you. My teacher and I still talk to this day, we check in, we talk about life and what's on the road ahead of us. He cares, he has always cared and has been a father figure in my life. 

In conclusion, I think that mental illnesses aren't talked about enough, in school, movies, and the world itself, it’s quiet like a ghost town after the sunsets. I believe that going to a therapist when you are overwhelmed should be as normal as going to the doctor when you are sick. 1 in 5 teens suffer from at least 1 mental health disorder, but most will never talk about it. Most teens know how to turn it on and off, when you see them they might be happy and laughing but 10 minutes ago they could've been crying in their car. You never know what someone is going through so if someone “seems off” ask them if they are okay, if they respond with “I’m fine” or “I’m just tired” check in on them more often. We need to fight to end this stigma and make the world more welcoming to people with these illnesses.