Imposter | Teen Ink

Imposter

October 24, 2021
By Anonymous

Cary Grant, born Archie Leach, was one of America's most famous actors and the inspiration for James Bond. He lived in poverty in the UK. At age 13, he ran away to join a theater group. Ten years later, a movie studio changed his name and transformed him into the handsome, confident man who was the Zac Efron of his time. My grandfather told me that Cary Grant once said, "Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant." 

That's how I sometimes feel: like an imposter. I was born <BirthName>, to a <Nationality> teenager who was working illegally in <Nation>. Weeks later, I was snuck across two borders back to <Nation>, the poorest country in Europe. Then I was abandoned by my biological mother. My biological grandmother brought me to an orphanage, and I was adopted by my family in the US. My DNA test says that I'm 40% <Ethnicity>. <Ethnicity> are the untouchables of Europe, with the reputation of being lowlifes, liars, and thieves.

Fast forward 17 years, and now I am an all-American boy. A 3-sport varsity athlete. A good student. A State of <State> BMX Champion. Rostered on the <Nationality> National <Sport> Team. So, sometimes I feel like John Smith, who has a list of accomplishments, but sometimes I feel like <BirthName>, a <Ethnicity> abandoned as a baby. 

When I arrived in <State>, I was so malnourished that my skin was grey and I had intestinal parasites. It wasn't until I had access to milk, clean water, and health care that I became healthy and could thrive. Shortly after I was adopted, my parents were told that I had Sensory Processing Disorder and my vestibular system was impaired. It was only through occupational therapy that my body learned to move in a coordinated way.

During games, the announcers often call out my name - but I'm not the best player on the team. They say my name because it is easy to pronounce. It has a good cadence and everybody loves an Irish name. Hearing them say my name makes me want to live up to everyone's expectations and be that version of John Smith.

"I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me. Or we met at some point." - Cary Grant. 

My goal during college: to merge the <BirthName> that I am now with the John Smith that everyone thinks I am.



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