Have you ever wondered why you are alive? Have you ever done something that you wish you could go back and fix? Well I always do. I always think if I could do it again I wouldn’t have done it. My name is Karla and this is my story. I was 17 years old. I was in high school. I didn’t have any friends because everyone would make fun of my weight. I couldn’t do anything about it. I tried to exercise but I didn’t ever loss weight. I went on special diets but that just felt like I was eating a snack.
I just wanted to eat more. So one day I began to force my self purge. I shoved my tongue in the back of my mouth and pushed it down until my I hit my gag reflects .I felt like I had power over something. That something was my weight. I was so sick of all the people making fun of me. Still I wanted to go to school because I never felt alone.
My mother works until 5:00. I get home at about 5:00 to because I help work at The Dollar Tree. I don’t plan on working there my whole life just until I get out of college.
So I still eat like I do regularly it’s just that after I make myself purge. I hated the way all the kids would laugh when someone said my name. The only thing that I like about school was I got to be in a place where there was more than one person in a room.
When I started this plan I measured my self because I saw on a movie that the girl was fat to and she started throwing up just because her friends where. Although we each have are own reasons for everything. I have mine.
It has been two weeks already and I am not the same person that I was before. People are starting to notice me and I am losing a lot of weight. People were suddenly talking to me. Although sometimes I felt dizzy and weak. I thought that at that point I was just tired. So I know that I was losing weight because my clothing didn’t fit me anymore.
I got a discount at the Dollar Tree. I bought more clothing. I felt good that they were a smaller size and I got skinny. I was going to stop throwing up because I liked the size I was.
So one day I was eating dinner. I only ate a little bit because I was not hungry. I thought I had trained my body to stop eating when my body wasn’t hungry any more. I felt the food coming back up. I was worried. This shouldn’t have happened anymore because I knew that I could stop at any point. I thought to my self well maybe I just got stomach flu. The next day in the morning I ate a small apple for breakfast. I began to throw-up my apple. It came up and I remember running to the bathroom and turning on the water so my mom would not hear me getting sick I wasn’t feeling well. So I told my mother if she could call in for me. I wanted to go back to bed. So my mother came into my room and told me she was going to stay home with me.
I woke up at 12:00 and looked if there was anything for me to eat. My mother made me soup and bread. I ate all the food in entire bowl. My mother asked me who bought me clothing. I told her that I did. She was cleaning my clothing and noticed that I was in a different size. She looked at me wondering when she lost weigh. Her face was confused so I could tell what she was thinking. I felt it coming back.
I asked her if I could be excused. She said yea. I ran to my bathroom turned on the water and began to barf. Everything came out. There was nothing left in my stomach. I felt my through beginning to burn as the food came up. My stomach muscles were moving as if I was in gum. My mother came quietly in my room and saw me. I had forgotten to close the door she broke down in tears. She wanted to know why I was doing this. I started to cry. I hate my life. I can’t lose weight any other way. I tried every way. I hate the fact that people make fun of me because I am a different size I am trying to stop. I can’t. I want to be normal and throwing up is the only way. I want to be like them. I can’t tell you how many people came up to me and said what’s up FATSO. Do we need to get you two chairs? That fat butt will break the chairs. You need to lose weight. I am sick. No I am really sick. I feel like I have killed myself. I have changed everything about me. My mother was quiet. She told me “I am so sorry. I can’t believe you don’t talk to me about this. I could have helped you.” I told her what you could have helped me do. I tried everything. Mom what would you do go to my school and say don’t talk to my daughter like that. I am fat and I know that. I want to stop. I would go back and never changed. I can’t change that now because if I could I would have. Please help me mother. I hate not to let my food go down. I just wanted to feel like I could do anything.
She told me “Karla I will take you to get help.”
So now here I am. I am a healthy. I learned a lot when my mom took me to a psychiatrist. They helped me to learn easy ways to help me lose weight fast. I can eat and lose weight at the same time. My point is to all the girls it doesn't matter what’s on the outside but what’s on the inside that matters. You can get help to. Some day you will find friends that like you just because your, you. So now I am telling everyone my story and showing them they aren't the only ones. People can call me and I will try to help because I learned the hard way.