Landing on asphalt, down the O’ Hare Airport, unknown territory, more like the Midwest.
A West Coast girl stepping off her parents jet. Oh, how perfect that sounds.
She’s not here visiting Michigan Avenue and go shopping. But to return to her home, to her family, to everything she ran from since the accident…

Oh the accident feels just like yesterday, the accident that took the majority of her childhood away. The images have never left her perfect figure much less her state of mind. Vacationing in extravagant countries is part of her lifestyle and so it the haute couture she owns. But no matter what she has, it will never sum up the loss she suffered many years ago, on a boat named Charlotte. The accident is all she remembers coming home to her parents. Her halfway gone mother who spends her time worrying and praying for her husband. Her father who doesn’t know what is happening. Numb. Hooked up to drugs and machines to make sure he’s breathing. Barely alive. And then there is me, Esther. Their daughter, that has returned after five years of absence.

Five years earlier…
The weather was perfect, especially since it’s mid- July and we’re in the Mediterranean. My mom, dad, Ryan, and me. Ryan and I are identical twins, we were 11 years old when this happened. Sailing on our grandparents boat when I dropped my Barbie doll in the water. “ RY! I need help.” I said. He’s on the opposite side pretending to fish with is rod. He’s looking down into the water, as if wondering what is in the ocean. Looks at me skeptically and sighs, “ Fine.” For someone who was older by a minute, Ryan acted like he was years apart from me and that I was some annoying little sister. Ironically, it was always this way. Ryan always acting like he was better than me, ignoring the fact that I was the Jr. U.S.A. Olympian of swimming. That was my talent, swimming; something Ry could never take away. Ry of course was talented in singing and baseball. For an 11 year old soon to be 12, he was a great deal back at home. My father’s trophy: as many would describe it. I, the swimmer could never compare to the Great and Mighty Ryan. But anyways, back to my memories of my twin brother. He was this kid that no matter what went wrong he had a smile. It was sorta phony in a way. I mean he was like a Ken doll and pretended to be perfect. So this day was the day something was actually bugging him and was a drama queen. When he got like this its impossible to love him, but regardless I understood. He was upset that I was leaving for England with our mother for a week. Now, my Barbie fell into the Mediterranean Sea and he dove in. The current was powerful, I know that much. The sea was as rigid and tough as ever but somehow Ry was able to save my Barbie. He threw it on the deck and tried getting back on the boat. He even swore under his breath because he was struggling. I had never seen my brother struggle in his life. Not until now. A huge wave was coming and it hit him like a hurricane. It took him farther into the sea. He yelled, “ Esther, I can’t swim.” That hit me harder. My perfect twin had a flaw. A flaw that can kill him. I spoke too soon, he struggled more than anything until the sea took him from me. There his body stood, floating. I was speechless until I heard our father yell, “ CAPTAIN, SAVE MY SON! THROW THE NETS, GET SOMETHING!”. By the time that happened, it was too late. My beloved, imperfect twin was gone. Taken by my stupidity of a toy. My mother said nothing. Silence described her. Especially when his body was brought in within the nets, surrounded by fish. The nets were slowly lowered and my parents went rushing to Ryan’s body. Hugging it, thinking he was playing dead. Only I knew that this time he was gone. So gone that I could never say, “I love you” or “I’m sorry”. Immediately, my father called for arrangements and when we returned to Manhattan the funeral was in place. The was the last time I ever Ryan. He was lowered into the ground for there he would spend the rest of what his life had left.

5 years later…
I am 16 years old, and everyday I feel like something is missing. I’m going to be a junior and my family is still suffering the loss. Too bad we all had to grow up and realize there is nothing left but to move on. He is, wherever I am. I carry him in my image. For he will be my only twin. My parents are happy but yet remember whenever we are near water or a boat. Ryan, if I could tell you anything, it would be that I’m sorry. Sorry for not doing anything. Sorry for not diving in. But my apologies will never fix what has already happened.
R.I.P. Ry.