When all hope seems lost and the path I think I am traveling vanishes below my feet, I flee to the one place that repairs all the holes in my heart and life. Jeong Seo has been attached to my hip since my parents separated in kindergarten all the way through my uncles cross over to the eternal world. In his DNA, there is an innate knowledge of how to make me feel better. His arms are long as a train and lean as gorilla yet comforting and warm like the sack of a kangaroo hiding a little joey. When he opens his gates of love I fall right in and sink deep down into the abyss of his chest. I always forcibly push my cheek where his arm meets his body. This is the one place in the world I can truly feel safe and loved. The best part is, they are open 24 hours. Being embodied by his arms gives me infinite peace of mind.
This compassion and security was first discovered in my first year of school, kindergarten. My mother would always tell me that my father was on business trips. Later it was revealed that he had a mistress who recently became my step mom. I was inconsolable. I had no comprehension of the actions that took place. All that I knew or cared about was the fact that I was going to loose my mother or father. Due to my lack of closeness to anyone in my class, I had nowhere to lean. At this very moment, Jeong noticed my tear dangling on my eyelash awaiting gravity’s force to pull it down my cheek. He glanced over and started to migrate towards me navigating through the busy classroom full of children. As he did this, he spread open his large encompassing arms and drew me in like opposite sides of a magnet. His hands were larger than average which gave me a comforting feeling as they firmly grasped my lower back moving upward and down ward. The whole class watched in awe as my burdens transformed into laughter. He filled me with joy. I had just stopped at the gas station of love. It was during that situation that I knew. I knew he would never leave my side.
My previous statement was cemented my senior year when my uncle transcended the natural word into heaven. I am sure he is given sponge baths with angels bathing him in golden water. But never the less, it was a very tragic moment. He was my closest uncle and he provided me with countless memories. When word broke to Jeong he rushed to my house. It was nearly midnight when he arrived. He was wearing a loose fitting silk shirt gleaming in the light of the lamp post. It seemed to glide over his skin with grace only matched by a swan elegantly dancing on the water. He slowed his approach to the door as he met the stairs in the walk way. His pectorals bounced as he overcame the steps. Our eyes met. His arms agape. My tears stream uncontrollably down my face. I jumped into his arms rapping my legs around his waist while his hands grasped my buttocks giving me lift. My nose was pressed against his neck as I wafted his cologne which personified him as an urban cowboy on a mission to save my heart from distress. I knew there was no other place I would rather be. It is a pause button that alleviates all of my troubles incomprehensible to a twix moment.
I’m sure that won’t be the last time he rescues me from my turbulent ups and downs. Anybody can slap your hand and pat your back when you’re on top but only a true friend or significant other is there for you when you are weak. Although I do not do it enough, every time I lie down and count my blessings, Jeong seeps into my mind as the biggest blessing I have. I don’t think I can ever repay him for what he has done for me, and he doesn’t expect me to, because his care for me is genuine not unlike that of a mother for her child. Sometimes I feel like I spent time in his womb generating the relationship we have now. Being embodied by his arms is the only place I would like to reside for the rest of my life.