I’m going crazy. My head aches, my legs are injured, I feel gross and I’m confused. I don’t know what to do at all. My mind is playing games with me, dirty games, once again…now what does that make me? Where do I stand then? Why do I have such a swinging mind? Why can’t I like one substance forever? The only thing that has been constant with me is Music, nothing else has been…I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I should believe my mind when it says that I’m still very small to think too much and give myself and mu mind a freaking break. But I’m not able to do that either. I’m screwed, in short. Confused state of mind is what I have, and my brain is in agony, and it’s so much that physically I feel that I’m drowning. I’m trying to blame myself, but somewhere in a dark corner, a feeling is not letting me do that too, telling me that it’s not my fault that I’m designed this way.

All I need right now is a heavy dose of psychedelic music, hat will help for sure. I need to take a break from myself. I’m thinking too much and that is the problem. But there is no one physically around me to stop me from doing that. It’s like there’s a whirlwind inside my brain and it hurts. I can literally feel it when I close and shrink my eyes. I hope that when I open my eyes it’ll all go away like a nightmare, but it doesn’t. I’m confused with my own self now. I don’t know what my own feelings mean anymore, I need a break…aaarrrggghhh!
Wish I could shout out, scream to the core, maybe then I’ll feel good, better…
If vision is the only validation, then most of my life isn’t real…