One day out of no where i get this very unexpected call from my dad saying he wanted to come down from Arizona to come and see us. It was kind of weird because after these four years of being gone, now he wants to come back and visit. But I know now nothing will ever be the same and I just wouldn’t be able to trust him again and I wouldn't even ever want him in my house again.

I still have that feeling of mistrust. Im scared he will leave us all over again. But now Im kind of glad he wants to come around again I’m excited but then again I’m nervous. I regret all the rude things I ever said about him. Like when I would say I hated him and just a lot of other rude things. About him being here for us. I mean it was true but it is now in the past. But now he’s actually trying. And i guess as long as he tries that will make me happy. He has apologized for all he has done wrong and regrets leaving us.
Now that Im 16 years old he’s trying to change for all of us. I really appreciate it.

I wish he would have done this a long time ago, though but now he’s better then ever. I also always remember when he used to be around all my dads family. My uncle from my dad’s side came down from Arizona. I was so glad I got to see him. Ecspeacilly because I hadn't seen him in years. But I think we could never all be a family again. And now things just wouldn't to go back like get things how they used to. It seems like just yesterday we were all a family and all together taking pictures together even though it was probably about 8 years ago.

Everything is just so different now because were not all a family. We have to go different places just to go be with each other. When I look at him I just get so mad. And sometimes I think why did you have to put us through all this pain. You just took all my trust for you away, and I don’t think it will ever go back how things were before. I just don’t understand what we did to get treated like this. For you even ever to leave, and disappear like that. Like my mom doesn’t even want him to now anything about our life anymore it feels so weird !