“Just switch back. Say that you don’t like that class,” She insisted forcefully. All three of them examined me as if I was a bad case.

“I can’t,” I uttered, “the school board made the decision to switch me to this regular class.” I gazed up at them. “I couldn’t switch back to the CTT class even if I wanted to,” but I didn’t want to. I needed to be in this class.

The September air became cooler as they glared at me with almost envious looks. Their brows knit into frowns, and their lips compressed together as if they ate a whole bag of sour candies.

Before I informed them that the school board decided to switch me to a new class, they were all giggling and chattering on about their future in the 8th grade. After, I suddenly realized that our three year friendship was on the verge of ending.

Everyday, they kept eyeing me over their shoulders and only spoke amongst themselves. I felt their jealous vibes contaminating the atmosphere when ever I saw them. I assumed that they were jealous because I was progressing.

I tried inviting them to spend lunch time with me but they would not go out with me. When I didn’t invite them they would get agitated. I knew that they still wanted me in their group but somehow they hesitated.

For the rest of the year I went out alone, ate by myself, then roamed aimlessly around the block for an hour yearning for the gates to open. I felt frustrated. My friends were forcing me away from their group. I grew enraged that they were holding me accountable for moving to a new class and also for their loneliness.

As I trudged down the short block one day. My mind went meandering in and out of reality. The air was waterless and bitter. The wind blew and sought to freeze me in my tracks, but I lingered on. My own bitterness rouse inside me.

I thought, ‘Why are they doing this to me? What have I ever done to them? They always blame me for everything. Now they think I’m responsible for moving to the regular class.’ I clutched my fists inside my pockets. I felt my eyes swelling up with steaming tears. My heart burning with a upsetting feeling of betrayal. ‘They are making me miserable. I want to tell them that I’m fed up with them, but that wouldn’t be nice. I just want to retaliate.’

I turned the corner of the block. I saw two girls giggling and rattling on cheerfully as they walked by me. As they past me, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. My lips quivered and the icy tears started to swell up again. ‘This is so unfair, but I know that life is unfair in general. My friends say they’re lonely, but I’m the one who is alone. They have each other when no one in my class is willing to hangout with me because everyone is in a click -- but then again, maybe I should give them a chance to redeem themselves.’

I waited patiently, but they kept insisting that I should switch classes all throughout the rest of the year.

I felt lonelier when I would go out to eat. I had been going out alone for two years, but I felt more alone than I had before. I didn’t wish to go to school sometimes because I had no friends to go back to. The only thing that kept me going back was the work, which kept me distracted from my social problems.

Sometimes I did question if I made the right decision. I contemplated many times on changing back, but I knew I was doing the right thing. I wasn’t going to let people push me around. If I wanted to do something, I wasn’t going to let anyone restrain me.

Some people might say that my friends just wanted to be with me and since we were in different classes it could have been very distressing for them. Nevertheless, friends are people who would always help support you and would want to be with you because they enjoy your company. The three of them did want me to be their friend, but they wanted me to stay the same or they wouldn’t be my friends anymore.

I was convinced that they would always be there for me and wouldn’t care if I was different from them, but I was wrong. If they were my real friends they wouldn’t behave the way they did.

My friends didn’t encourage me to be better, but I could always count on my parents to reassure and motivate me.

If my friends thought it was wrong for me to change, then they can think that way.

I’m just sorry that they were displeased because I didn’t care that they were in a different class. Although I wanted to be their friend, it was obviously difficult for them to accept me as I was.