I wish I could say that I loved you from the first time I saw you. That’s not the truth, but it might sound cooler if that was the case. It’s not, but the point is, I started loving you one day, and I haven’t really stopped since. Sure, I’ve had feelings towards other people for short, insignificant amounts of time, but I have always drifted back.

Back to you.

I wish I could say what it is about you, why I’m so taken and, at times, obsessed. What is it about you that caught my eye the way no one else ever has? I don’t think I’ll ever really know. I would like to say that it’s because we’re soul mates, but I don’t know if I really believe in that kind of stuff, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to take myself seriously after admitting it. Maybe it’s your eyes. Or maybe just your eyelashes. They’re long and dark, and they sort of romanticize everything else about your face, flaws and all. Maybe it’s your laugh. Maybe it’s your dreams. Maybe it’s just you.

It’s probably just you.

I miss you, like all the time. I’m starting to think it’s some sort of weird disease or untreatable psychological disorder. When I’m with you, it’s like I’m taking a hit of my drug of choice, and when I’m not, I just stalk you on Facebook. Lately it’s been weighing on my mind quite a bit that we don’t have much time left together, you and I. I can almost count the days I have left with you on my phalanges. To be honest, I’m scared. I worry about what life will be like when we’re no longer together. It’s like the universe is taking my baby blanket away after sleeping with it under my head for years. Now I will just lie awake at night.
Thinking.

I’ll probably do a lot of that, thinking. Thinking about you. Where you are. What you’re doing. Thinking about the times we spent together, trying to recall our conversations, the times we touched, the times we smiled. Wherever you are, I’ll be there next to you in my mind. Because there’s a part of me that thinks we’ll end up together, you and me. Whether it someday be the kind of love that I share with my goldfish or the kind of love that I share with the Jonas Brothers, I’m not sure, and I don’t think it’s necessary to draw a line between the two. I just know that there is a part of my heart and a part of my life that will always lie with you, and I pray to the God that neither of us are quite sure of that our paths will cross again someday.

I cannot say with any truth that I loved you from the first time I saw you. How could I possibly love you with your once nerdy braces and disheveled hair? However, I love you now, and because you have that piece of me, my life, my heart, I will continue to love you until the day our mortal stories come to their completion and nothing else remains. And when that day comes, I hope that my soul drifts back.

Back to you.