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What I Remember
Here's what I remember from that day: pointing at something red on the ceiling with a terrified look because in my head it was a beating heart about to burst; telling the paramedic in the ambulance she looked like Katherine Heigl with a mustache; waking up and trying to run by finding only locked doors and therefore thinking I was in purgatory; and constantly singing at the top of my voice for no apparent reason.
Here's what I later learned about that day: the medication I had just begun taking, bentyl, for my ovarian cysts, had an adverse allergic reaction in my brain causing hallucinations, psychosis, and delirium. Not knowing this was the cause, emergency room doctors believed I was on drugs but when the tox-screen came back negative, they turned to my brain. Again, nothing in the CT scan showed abnormalities, so they pumped me with anti-psychosis drugs, which, of course, had more adverse reactions on my body. Finally, they decided there was nothing more they could do for me, so they sent me to a pediatric psychiatric facility. I rode in an ambulance to get there and when I got there in the middle of the night, I finally got some sleep. That's when I woke up finally the next day, thinking i was in purgatory. This lasted for three days until I woke up and was actually lucid. When I knew where I was, I was terrified. I was surrounded by strangers and some pretty dangerous kids that I felt threatened my safety. But I couldn't do anything about it. I was utterly helpless. I did my best to prove to the doctor that I was fit to go home, but of course he didn't discharge me until an entire week after my arrival. When I got home, I got this terrifying story. I had to have a follow up appointment with a psychiatrist who confirmed it was bentyl that caused the reaction but cleared my other wise from any other mental condition.
My "psychotic episode" as I like to call it was definitely the most terrifying week of my life. But I emerged from it a much stronger person, smarter, too. I will now read every possible serious side effect to medication because I know what it feels like to have your brain be controlled by something that's not your mind. Being in that condition for a week was life threatening if you ask me but also eye opening. I came back with an extreme desire to become a neurosurgeon and solve these kinds of problems. Now, thanks to my newfound passion, I will be shadowing a famous neurosurgeon this summer for two weeks and I can't wait to learn all about the brain and it's intricacies.
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