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Sixteen years and I'm struggling
Sixteen years strong and the fun has just presented itself. School has always been easy for me, i've never really struggled during school; maybe a chapter in pre algebra may have stumped me or even an argument essay I had to conjure last year. School has it’s ups and downs but mostly throughout the year, it’s smooth sailing until the end. High school has been kinda enjoyable lately. Art club started this year and i'm thrilled to join it. I love art and want to pursue it as a career as a graphic illustrator or character designer. Art is what really keeps me interested in school and in general, life. At home I love to explore all types of art from sketches, to paintings, to digital art. Art is what makes me who I am. It interest me and will guide me further in life. Art is the start of my dart to success. There are so many options in the arts -- visual arts, theres graphic designing, theres graphic illustrating, there's mixed media arts. there's painting -- and so much more.
School is just the beginning for my life. Last year, first year of high school, or at least at the high school it was easy. I had fantastic, adventurous teachers and I could get help if I required it, and the teachers were great. Mr. Breen my art intro and hopefully my mixed media teacher was the best. He was interesting, funny, and really engaging with the students. He was one of those teacher that didn't really care how well you did on the project, he mostly cared about if you learned what was being taught for the project. He made art fun for me and hopeful for everybody elts. He was just like my ELA/History teacher Mrs. Patterson. She wasn't the most interesting teacher, but she gave a lot of examples to help with on worksheets, quizzes, projects and many more. She was engaging just like Mr. Breen and made high school enjoyable. I passed all my classes with A’s and B+’s. I was happy and satisfied with myself for once. I continued on into 11th grade with a positive attitude.
Not to far back 11th grade started for me. On September 9th 2015. From what all my friends say, 11th grade was the hardest and worst year of high school. So far it's not that bad. I got art classes that I wanted and my teachers are cool. I get a lot of help and I try my best, but for some reason I don't get a lot of the concepts we’re learning. I hope to do well this year and impress my brother which was an all A’s student.
Now here comes my issues that will domino me to where I am today. Back in 9th grade, Algebra one. I had the worst teacher I have ever had, Mr. Parriso. He was always cranky and didn't know how to teach. He was very mean and rude. I don’t understand how he was hired. He always talked about how he hates kids, and how he hates his wife. He was a wreck of a person and I feel bad for anyone that has him now. I did well in pre Algebra, Algebra 1, Stats, and Geometry; But Algebra 2 is very, very, very hard for me. Coming back to it this year posed some real challenges for me. It was hard to wait two long, boring years before continuing algebra and even so, Mr. Fletcher my Algebra teacher was a giant. He had a beard that reminded me of dumble dorfs. He looked happy, but I knew he wasn't at all. He was the happiest, most frustrated man of all time. At first glance he looked big, bold, and boring.He gave us a lot of work to do that was supposedly review. The work was very hard. A lot of it had to do with Algebra one. It was a review packet as a whole. At home I tried and tried to understand it. I got my father's help, my brother’s help, my mother's help but it’s been so long since they've had algebra in high school. My father didn't do well in it, and I might not do well either. It consisted of solving equations, matching number types to a set of numbers, and simplifying. It was a difficult packet to complete, but I finished it after five hours of struggling. Even though it took five hours, I felt good about what I accomplished afterwards. I should have been more prepared for this struggle.
In class we had more confusing foreign work to do. Some people though it was easy and simple to do, but in my lost and forgotten eyes, I had forgotten everything i've learned over the two years and didn't know how to do any of it. I sat down in my chair and embraced the darkness that follows. My hands griped tight to the pencil trying not to drop it and give up. My brain was in a crisis. It was trying to find something that didn't exist. My pre algebra skills were lost to the void. My chair gripped me tight, an escape was not an option. The clock slowed to a stop. An hour felt like days. Mr. Fletcher gazed across the field of confusion and stress. He could almost smell the frustration in the air. I felt like I was in a snare, but Mr fletcher didn't care. The second hand struggling for that last push to the twelve. It reached out and completed its cycle. The bell scream loudly to announce the end of the suffering.At that moment I relized that school wasnt suppose to be easy, school is a test, and it’s not forgiving. The real world struggles of school have finally presented themselves to me. It was swift,small, and a secret kept hidden until the day I opened its tomb. A little later than I thought, but it finally came out to mess with me.
The first couple of weeks I was failing the class. Fifty percent after fifty percent on each quiz. I was doing bad on my test and needed help desperately. Me and my dad sat down and discussed what to do about the situation.
“Caymen you need to find me a list of tutors from your school.”
“Ok dad, I will”.
Maybe I should have been more prepared for this. The following day which was a friday, I returned with no help but a pamphlet of tutoring websites. My dad went on one of those websites and found a tutor named Chelsie. We set up a date and time and we got right to it to answer all my questions.
On Tuesdays at 5pm we meet Chelsea at the Independence Township Library to get help. I'm still getting help with her today and it's working.
“Hey Caymen’.
“Hey Chelsie!, so this is what we're doing in class”
“Ok let me see.”
“I don't understand how or what is going on.”
“Ok, hmm, oh ya, to do this equation here, you take the previous Y value and replug it into the equation.”
“Like this?” I replied.
“Ya.” “It’s as simple as that.”
“Thanks! It makes sense now. I really appreciate your help Chelsie.” I have a better understanding of the material and I know now why I got some problems wrong on that dreaded test of his. Chelsie was my answer.
“To be honest, she was helping, but I wasn't sure if it was helping me.” “Why am I here?” “Oh ya, that’s right, i’m terrible at algebra.” “Does Mr.Fletcher just use the same work sheets from last year. every year?” “If so, what does he do at home?’ “I feel like he's some type of lumberjack or something with his beard and all at home.” “I don’t know what i’m talking about anymore, I better get back to work.”
I'm doing better in Algebra two now and I thank her. I'm getting ahead of the game for once and I'm striving for that A. It's going to be a long trip but i'm willing to take it. I've learned that life isn't handed to you and you really have to work to be successful. Preparing for what might happen and taking responsibility is important. These lessons have moments have taught me these and I strive for a greater future. I’ve come more prepared for what's ahead, and maybe this time, i’t won’t come as a surprise and bite me in the back.
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