A feeling of pressure overcomes me whenever I think about it. I get worried about balancing school and work. I have been told before and I will again about how I will need to help my parents pay for my college. Even with reduced tuition I will need to help because savings are not enough to pay for it. There is an overall feeling of stress when I think about this. The words ring in my head and echo like a bell in a tower.  I am aware that when the time comes I will know and I will take up the responsibility of it. It is a feeling that will be with me until I have completed the task.

The floor is grey and carpeted. There are four chairs not a single one matching the other, too many pillows to count.  The dog is in the corner on its bed someone in the la-z-boy and someone is the armchair. I am on the couch being looked at by the person in the la-z-boy who is talking to me. Every so often the person in the armchair interjecting with a comment. The room is relatively quiet at that moment but it isn’t always like that. Whether there is a show on the tv or people over more often than not if everyone is there it isn’t that quiet. But there is someone missing who you can hear n the background in another room trying to ask what we are talking about but getting none of the attention or answers they want.

As the white fluff of hair of a dog lays there on her bed, she listens closely not knowing what the people are talking about. All she knows is that she would rather outside getting a walk or chasing something, but she will be content with this for now. She sits wondering if she should get up and see who will give her attention. She does that knowing that whoever she goes to will pet her. At she goes up nudging with her black wet nose for attention, she hopes that someone will pet her white fur. As she stands there getting her curly white hair stroked she wonders how long they will do it for. She sits listening to them while being pet like she wants enjoying life. She knows she looks good and isn’t afraid to show it.

These all add up to make an atmosphere of comfort and many other things. I think it about more than I should. It comes to mind that it’s a ways away but I question how I’ll do it. I need to know that I’ll know when the time comes I can handle it. The overall situation is just made worse by me.  It is inevitable that it will happen and that I will be able to do it. I am fully aware that I will not be in this alone but I will be helping and getting help. It is something that I will need to deal with and will deal with.